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Well, lots to write, and so little time! I’ve been on holiday, am threataning to move out on my own (again), cheered up, been to the BETT show (okay my male alter-ego went), and just generally been doing lots. This weekend should also prove to be interesting……for reasons that you will find out later.

Okay, first up the Holiday….

On the 4th of Jan I set off up to Coventry to meet my Girlfriend, and after brief stay at her house we set of in her parents car…..leaving Nina at home. Something that nina’s been bemoaning since I brought her back! Anyway….we went down to wales and having arrived in our Gorgeous cottage I appeared….and didn’t disappear for a whole 4 days….

We visited Harlech castle, the CAT centre, Dinorwig powerstation (Electric Mountain), waterfalls, Barmouth, and just generally relaxed…. It was fantastic to spend some time alone with Han, and to be me continuously…although at the Cat centre where I payed for lunch using my debit card which proclaims “Mr….” did provoke a bit of an odd look….I think she was trying to decide if I really did have breasts under my coat….

I’m not sure what she plumped for as the card-swipe machine wasn’t working which meant paying by cheque (my only millenium preparation – to fish out my cheque book. Probably the wisest decision ever) – and my cheque book is nicely a-sexual when it comes to my name….

So perhaps she though I was TS and mid change….or maybe she didn’t….who knows (apart from her).

Anyway – whatever it was, I got some great photo’s in Wales (why not check out my other website: The gallery and see some of the better shots (yeah, okay, that’s an unashamed plug)).

So, then there’s moving out….well, yet again I’ve started to make vague plans about shifting to my own abode….away from this place…where I can be myself….so thats that.

The BETT show was interesting….and as I used to say – it’s not a show unless you get a mug…..Thanks Akhter – not that I actually advocate their products….I just wanted a mug!

And I got some good bargains on the book front (NT4 and C++ for £25), also got a “evaluation edition” of SuSE Linux…so that’s going to replace the out of date version of Redhat on the PC…. Hopefully it’ll recognise the PC’s graphics card.

And finally, this weekend……well, I’m going to meet the first friend (excluding my partner) as me. This is a scary experience – and, well, typical girl – I can’t decide what to wear! Initially it was just going to be jeans and a tee shirt, but I’d quite like to wear a skirt….just in a kind of – I can so I will…..but….well….we’ll see. Then there’s a possibility of me meeting the second friend…..the first person I ever literally told (okay it was down the phone). I’m leaving that up to him – so I’ll be in ‘andro’ mode unless he wants to see ‘me’. I’m scared he’ll read this before I see him and feel pressured which is not what I want at all.

The only way to do it is for him to decide when he’s ready – I don’t want him to think I’m pushing him because I’m not. Although for him it definately wouldn’t be a skirt!

Anyway – we’ll see how it goes after this weekend!

So that’s my life at the mo…..

LOL
Kate
xxxx

13 Jan 2000.

Well, lots to write, and so little time! I’ve been on holiday, am threataning to move out on my own (again), cheered up, been to the BETT show (okay my male alter-ego went), and just generally been doing lots. This weekend should also prove to be interesting……for reasons that you will find out later.

Okay, first up the Holiday….

On the 4th of Jan I set off up to Coventry to meet my Girlfriend, and after brief stay at her house we set of in her parents car…..leaving Nina at home. Something that nina’s been bemoaning since I brought her back! Anyway….we went down to wales and having arrived in our Gorgeous cottage I appeared….and didn’t disappear for a whole 4 days….

We visited Harlech castle, the CAT centre, Dinorwig powerstation (Electric Mountain), waterfalls, Barmouth, and just generally relaxed…. It was fantastic to spend some time alone with Han, and to be me continuously…although at the Cat centre where I payed for lunch using my debit card which proclaims “Mr….” did provoke a bit of an odd look….I think she was trying to decide if I really did have breasts under my coat….

I’m not sure what she plumped for as the card-swipe machine wasn’t working which meant paying by cheque (my only millenium preparation – to fish out my cheque book. Probably the wisest decision ever) – and my cheque book is nicely a-sexual when it comes to my name….

So perhaps she though I was TS and mid change….or maybe she didn’t….who knows (apart from her).

Anyway – whatever it was, I got some great photo’s in Wales (why not check out my other website: The gallery and see some of the better shots (yeah, okay, that’s an unashamed plug)).

So, then there’s moving out….well, yet again I’ve started to make vague plans about shifting to my own abode….away from this place…where I can be myself….so thats that.

The BETT show was interesting….and as I used to say – it’s not a show unless you get a mug…..Thanks Akhter – not that I actually advocate their products….I just wanted a mug!

And I got some good bargins on the book front (NT4 and C++ for £25), also got a “evaluation edition” of SuSE Linux…so that’s going to replace the out of date version of Redhat on the PC…. Hopefully it’ll recognise the PC’s graphics card.

And finally, this weekend……well, I’m going to meet the first friend (excluding my partner) as me. This is a scary experience – and, well, typical girl – I can’t decide what to wear! Initally it was just going to be jeans and a tee shirt, but I’d quite like to wear a skirt….just in a kind of – I can so I will…..but….well….we’ll see. Then there’s a possibility of me meeting the second friend…..the first person I ever literally told (okay it was down the phone). I’m leaving that up to him – so I’ll be in ‘andro’ mode unless he wants to see ‘me’. I’m scared he’ll read this before I see him and feel pressured which is not what I want at all.

The only way to do it is for him to decide when he’s ready – I don’t want him to think I’m pushing him because I’m not. Although for him it definately wouldn’t be a skirt!

Anyway – we’ll see how it goes after this weekend!

So that’s my life at the mo…..

LOL

Kate
xxxx

01 Jan 2000, 20:16.58.

Arse. I’m knackered. ‘scuse typing…..having trouble with brain – hand coordination….

Right, anyway. I just spent a marvelous 2.5 days with the SO…..I’ve got some xmas prezzies….although a incident when we arrived back – known commonly as panic – lead me to break one…..but – the SO says she’s managed to fix my neclace….

Also, my oldest friend – who I’ve known since I was about 2, and who sounds like he’s having a s**tty time in his new home/job/life reacted wonderfully to my informing him that I was TG. I got the letter from him on the 30th – which I stopped to read on the way to Hannah’s, Largely because having guessed it was him, it began – Dear Kate…. which was the best present he could give me. So….Thankyou Brian.

New Year was spent in the company of some very good friends – taking the piss as usual. Oddly, most of them know about me – or at least a fair proportion of them know – probably all those who know individually knowing – not knowing who else knows – which made it harder than usual for me to avoid standing on the table and doing my whole – I’m TS speech for the remaining few – just to get it over and done with – particularly affter a few bottles of Hooch and some celibratory champagne (substitute).

However there’s the one person I haven’t yet told personally – who I need to tell in an individual kind of sit down and explain kind of fashion…. He now know’s somethings up – but he doesn’t know what. He knows that I have an alternative web site to the front I present to the world a lot of the time, but again he doesn’t know what it says – as he doesn’t know where it is.

I don’t want to hurt him – but because I suspect that he really didn’t suspect – I need to spend a little time with him. This is partially I suspect becuase I was afraid of loosing his friendship and to some extent scared by what his reaction would be to “I’m TS”, so I worked harder than with most people to present the appropritate front….

But I nearly dropped myself in it…when discussing childhood I nearly called myself a little girl…..oooops. My slightly alcohol befuddled brain caught the rogue phrase on it’s way to the voice-box and desperately tried to substitute a word…..now “boy” would have been the obvious one – but it doesn’t feel right – so it ended up being “person”!

Apart from that minor slip it went well. That and a really strong desire to turn up in my new purple dress which, though I would have been rather overdressed for the occasion – I wanted to wear…..just to show off!

On the car front Nina performed marveolously – she’s still leaking – but she just cruises through any journey (touch large oak forest). And is a pleasure to drive….

And I got to wear my suit…not for a “valid” reason – I just wore it on my way to see Han, and I had a long bath, and shaved my legs, and oh – heaven. I just love shaven legs…they feel so different! It was nice to pamper myself for an evening – even if it did mean avoiding my parents…. However I don’t know if their subconciously helping…..’cos they gave me a new dressing gown for Xmas – and it’s far longer than the old one….which means you can’t see when I’ve shaven my legs!

Anyway….now I’ve woken up I think I’ll surf the web for a bit…and then, probably off to bed.

Happy New Year/Millenium

LOL

Kate

:Courtesy of Paul….Oh you’re so 20th centuary….. :-)

26 Dec 1999, 23:09.27

Well, I’ve been prolific this month…..

Today finds me in a better – if nervous mood. Xmas was an odd experience becuase for the first time in the history of the world my sister hosted the festivities….

I had a really good time – despite my sister being vegitarian – and thus no Turkey – she cooked an excellent meal which I thoughly enjoyed… and the presents were excellent – although I still owe my parents a present – because Richer Sounds failed to have what I wanted in stock….

I’m nervous becuase I’m on the verge of psoting a letter to a friend saying I’m TS, and I’m still waiting for a response from my oldest friend – after telling him that I’m TS. Now when I say my oldest friend I mean oldest. I’ve known him since I was about 2, we’ve been friends since then with only the shortest of breaks (a fight in a sandpit). Loosing his friendship would be somewhat like loosing a limb. Unfortunately I had to tell him over e-mail. It was the right time, I hope.

My feelings over Xmas were odd. Because I wanted to be me. However thesituation was such that I could not – but the best moment – without doubt was walking into their bathroom and seeing _myself_ in the mirror. Okay, flat chested and slightly stubbly – but there I was.

The other amusing thing is this: I have used womens antipersperant for about 2 years now….pretty much wandering around the “Sure” range. Now from thir packaging, their location in the shop and the fact that they come in fragrances such as cool silk, you might suspect that they were womens…

What did my parents get me for Xmas…..3 cans of Sure…..

Oh yes….the other disturbing thing. I went up to see the S.O. in the frozen midlands, and had a wonderful time (John Wayne (in joke) Tea (another in joke)). Anyway, on arriving back I found my parents had tidied my room – something they were under the mistaken impression I’d be emensly grateful for – hmmmm – there may be c**p every where, but it’s my c**p and I know where everything is (was). Anyway – this was bad. Bad because located in my wardrobe (which when I left had clothes spilling out onto the floor) was: 1 body, 1 blouse, 1 bra, 3 pairs of obviously womens jeans.

I get back. The jeans are folded. The other clothes are there….. Everything else is put away, the jeans are put away – the bra, blouse and body aren’t….

Question:

1. Do my parents know?

Evidence for: Present. Evidence Against: No comments

2. Do my parents think it’s the S.O.’s stuff?

Evidence for: not put away – perhaps they didn’t notice the womens jeans…. Evidence against: No comments (I’d expect sarky comments from my dad).

If they don’t bring it up I’m not going to…not yet….

Hmmmm…how to increase your stress levels in one easy step!

Oh well, that’s all for today…

Lots of love.

Kate

Who’s hoping it won’t rain tomorrow so she can look at her car and see WTF it leaks.

18 Dec 1999 – 20:11.22

Well. I don’t quite know where to begin. I’ve had a bad week; for a week which start with such promise I feel that this is a rather sad way to end….

On Friday the 17th of December 1999 a piece of Yugoslavian Technology met it’s end. Himself right to the end Hugo saved my life before he expired.

Near me is a little mostly single track lane known as “The Chute”. It is a road known for a high number of accidents – and indeed quite a few fatalities. This is because the road is, well, twisty – with high banks on both sides. It also crests a hill with an approx 180 hairpin!

Anyway – despite being classed as “national speed limit” (60mph for any americans) I tend to cover it at about 30mph, or 40mph on the straight bit. On friday – a day with light drizzle falling I hopped into Hugo – incidentally dressed as myself (although not noticably so) – and trundled off to work. Pausing briefly to stick on a Corrs tape – and the lights.

About ¾ of the way up the Chute I noticed a red fiesta approaching. Well outside reasonable braking distance….. so I put on the brakes to slow the car. Now I don’t know why – my guess is that the disks were damp and so the brakes were a lot more effective than normal – the wheels locked. Instantly. Now – I probably wasn’t as alert as I should have been – it being early morning – but the fact I was skidding _definately_ registered. My brain had got as far as sending the message pump the brakes but it was too late – I’d hit the bank.

The left hand side of the car rose up about a foot – you can see this from the bank. I suspect I’d attempted to correct the slide by turning the wheels right – as I was sliding left. So the car was already turning right when it hit the left bank. After that I just remember the lanscape going from the normal view we all expect and love – to rapidly being upside-down.

Now I could hear the engine running and my brain quickly went through:

1 Turn off ignition

2 Put hand on “roof”

3 Undo seat belt

4 Ouch

5 Get out the damn car.

At this point – as a testament to the Yugo – the windscreen was still intact – and although a little stiff the drivers door opened fairly easily – although I did kick it….

Having got out – and surveyed the damage it looked like Hugo might have survived….

However with a great deal of work from some fellow villagers the car was turned back over and it became apparent that the roof had stretched.

Not only that – but most of the oil had been lost.

It’s a great testament to Yugos – I’m alive because that car was so damn strong. I feel like an idiot – that road shaves about 2 minutes off my journey – and no I won’t be using it much any more.

Ironically – the other driver, the police and most locals agree that I was doing a reasonable speed and was unlucky….. Perhaps it’s not such a reasonable speed. It’s cost me around £700 – and I now ache all over. I also am sad at the loss of an excellent car. But as Hannah reminds me – at least I’m okay. Many people don’t get that much. I also think Hannah deserves a lot of something…..she put up with me bawling down the phone – after an entire day of trying to hold myself together I just let it out when speaking to Hannah…. I don’t know why she puts up with it….I should have been glad to be alive – but, hell, I liked that car….

I’ve just bought the only car I could afford – the insurance is through the roof – and indeed probably through the atmosphere – and out of this galaxy…. It’s a MK 1 Volkswagen Golf 1500 GL, in metallic red….which leaks.

Having got it home I thought – hmmm that looks a bit damp….oh well it’s been raining – and someone probably got in with wet feet….

Having washed the car I now know it leaks. Quite a lot. Ah well, what do you expect for £95? Apart from that the screen washer stopped working on my way home – I think the pipe’s become disconnected and it’s done over 110000 miles. But it looks okay – quite nice in fact – it runs well and seems to be built well….So perhaps it’s a worthy successor to a much loved car….

If anyone wants to save Hugo he’s in LA Breakers in Headly (Thatcham)/Newbury….. Reg G837WGM….. The engine’s top – the interiors pretty good….and I’ve got lots of the documentation….including owners manual, service history, etc, etc…..

 

Kate