Category: General

I am so incredibly, phenominally tired.

But, today:

I did okay, I learned stuff, I got to work despite managing to clout my exhaust going round a roundabout a bit quick (and having to reattach it twice. Sorted now I hope). I picked up some fresh loritadine (‘scuse spelling), I arranged to have Trey’s birthday as a day off, I bought some sugar and some cookies and now I’m going to bed.

‘s been a good day.

I even read a bit of a paper before I fell asleep downstairs.

Tomorrow is shopping day.

Trey made me food… she’s so sweet :-) Yay me.

Yeeeesh I’m tired. Good tired though, not bad tired.

This has been a good weekend; suprisingly the week has ended well after the most stress and terror I’ve had for a good long while. But yeah, good. Tired good. (more…)

Well, that’s an overstatement. A bolt holding the alternator (generator) on had worked loose, hit the blades of the fan on the alternator, got flung upwards to the bonnet (hood), clouted that, bounced backwards hitting the bulkhead (firewall) and then slid down and come to rest behind the engine mount. The alternator, thus freed, slackened itself off and saved itself the effort of charging the battery….

….it’s all reassembled, I don’t know what made the bolt undo itself, but I’ll have to keep an eye on it. Oil’s fine, coolant’s fine, now it’s charging, and when *cold* it’s dead easy to start on the starting handle. Completely impossible when hot :(

Some asshole told me when I was trying (to save the battery – since I’d not charged it) – that “if you want to get it started there’s 3 blokes over there”. I missed telling him to fuck off, only by a few seconds, and mostly due to being really shocked. Arsehole. I did tell his mate to fuck off though :-)

Yesterday we went to see my parents; well, more accurately, I went to do lots of little jobs for my parents, and Trey, well, Trey’s just wonderful.

Yes, so we cruised down on the motorway in Rebecca, the 1.3 engine seems to be going okay, my instruments however were having a fun game with the Rev counter swinging gently from 3.5k rpm to 5k rpm for no change in speed. I think that the earth’s gone a bit iffy; either that or… well, I’ll go into that later.

I did stop once on the motorway, after hearing one of those unnerving clank, clunk, BANG noises which I vaguely thought “hey, we’ve just hit some debris….or it could be my entire engine exploding!” so I pulled over and checked, and nothing appeared to be amiss – so we headed off. I definately need to sort out putting the proper carb on though, ‘cos the engine is so breathless.

Anyway, we got to my parents house without further mishap; enjoying a beautiful proper summer day, slathered on the Factor 30, breathed, and entered my house… where my two young nephews (aged 4 and 2) were…bouncing.
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Making Fiends. This is unutterably brilliant. If broken. Broken head = genius. Yes.

That’s how I feel about myself at the moment. I guess nothing can easily be right with the world when you’re fearing that everything you’ve worked for, you’ve given up your life for, is going to be destroyed.

2 years ago when I made the decision to do nursing I gave up a failing business, but at that point I could easily have gone back to my previous career; technical writing. A career with great pay, fantastic prospects, a nice easy 9-5 job. I did it having caluclated that I could ‘cope’ for 3 years, pretty much whatever the world threw at me. But I forgot how hard university is. I didn’t realise that the nursing course involves working a full week of shifts and doing essays and assignments at the same time. I didn’t realise quite how hard it would be.
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Oooh look, now you can buy Pyoor goods!

Fuck them all.

I just feel solidly sick.

I can see my life falling apart. Collapsing around me. Like some fucking nightmare.

I was working. I just want to throw up now.

It could all be fine. It all depends on Lloyds now.

I’m shaking.

The stress of the money situation, which I thought was 90% sorted is now overwhelming me. I feel sick. Totally sick. I’m shaking and holding back tears.

I hate this. Fucking Regolith promises to consume my life. I’ve worked so fucking hard for the last 2 years to keep my loans and debts serviced. All for what? So that a debt recovery company and lloyds combined can fuck it totally?

My way, Lloyds get all of their 10k back. Their way, as it stands, they’ll see nothing, virtually. Where does logic come in to this?