Category: General

Quick test of the Performancing plugin for Firefox. I set my alarm for 6am instead of 7am. So I’m up, showered, hair-dried, dressed and part way through breakfast. I’m also tried, cranky and wondering what it’s going to be like from Monday – with Trey not here.

I’ve not spoken to (anyone very much) Trey for the last couple of days; with the whole knowing she’s moving away me feeling crap and so on. So… I dunno what it’s going to be like. Bleh. Anyway, I’ve not got anything to say really, so I’ll stop.

So, I managed to book my car’s MOT (best stop the exhaust leaking and put the headlamps in. Oooh, and check the adjustment on the rear brakes)….

I managed to book an appointment for councelling.

I tried to get in touch with A&E woman. But it didn’t work; she didn’t ring back; now there’s a suprise.

I had my nurse’s appointment.

And I’m still feeling crappy. And of course, I’ve twigged that Trey is going to AK in April. Which in my current mood makes me feel like crap about my birthday, which, incidentally falls three days after my dad’s birthday – and indeed the day we’re burying his casket.

Meh.

So, I was at work and I was tired. I wasn’t tired from working hard, I’d got used to A&E’s pace, and ward work is somewhat different.

Anyway, I went into the staff room to munch on my lunch, and found one of the nurses (from another ward); after a bit I twigged that she was crying… and asked if she was okay. And that was about it. I was in that hesitatant place thinking – she looks like she could do with a hug – and also – I’ve never met this person before, what the hell do I do.

If it was a patient, it’d be different.

Anyway, I was hovering in this place. And also thinking that she looked cute. Dykey spikey hair. Scrubsy type uniform… and vaguely hovering on the edge of my ‘gaydar’.

And then she started talking about her boyfreind.

Poot.

I need more cute gay people in my life.

So, mark of my mood I guess. I watched the L Word, Series III, Ep 1 today. That, also, was fracking fantastic. And shocking. Really fracking shocking. I’ve kept away from anywhere where I might get spoilers (although I was despately nosily trying to see the ‘scene’ on the Showtime website (denied to all non US citizens. Cheers Showtime).

Anyhow. I (more…)

So, having managed to stop hyperventilating (only joking) and calmed down enough to exhibit slightly less of a huge and unadulterated stress response I…well. I watched kids in the hall. I stared at that assignment for a bit, but I still couldn’t actually concentrate enough to do anything about it. So, then I moved onto watching Kids in the Hall. Then, having done that, I moved on to trying to find the fracking DiMage software. Minolta don’t seem to want to share at the moment, I’m hoping their technical support won’t say “go spend $40 on Version 2”; I don’t really want any photo processing stuff, I just need something to convert the photos from the thing into the sRGB colour space. I’ve looked, and I can see what people mean, the colours just are ‘a bit crap’ without doing it.

Blah. Still stressed.

So then I managed to calm down enough to look at the NP5 (Nursing Practice 5) requirements (very relaxing).

In addition to all the work I’ve scheduled, it appears that very little of the learning requirements for NPs 3 and 4 carry through. I need to sit down and spend an hour or two picking out those bits which can – and reprint them with the correct or extended NP5 code on them. This is a pain. At least some of the NP1 and 2 stuff carried through to 3 and 4. I guess it’s there, but I’m stressing about the whole new work environment / new people thing.

I don’t know why. I *work* with new people every day; the patients. I work as a bank nurse, and that’s fine. But a new placement is, to me, just like starting a new job. And I hate starting a new job.

ARGH.

I’ve not practiced guitar today or yesterday either. I won’t get home ’til, probably 10:30 and I need to get up at 5:30 tomorrow. So I’ll be going straight to sleep when I get home. I know that there’s a pile of adrenaline surging through my veins making me feel so fracking ansy. It’s just *ARGH* kind of levels.

In other news, for those who remember the hideous road monitoring suggestions, it appears my MP’s on the same side as me; so Ra on that. Got a letter from the Houses of Parliament (nothing like interesting post to make you feel important, eh?) with a ‘I’m very concerned too’ letter – and a ‘I will contact you further when I’ve got the response from the home secretary’.

Oh, yeah. Rambly I know. Last night I watched two programmes actually live, on TV (actually I watched ‘Invaders’ the night before too, which was good). Anyway, apart from the fact C4 seem to have switched their advert scheduling to ‘more annoying’ and thus ‘less likely I’ll keep watching’ (not an effective solution) the programme Root of all Evil last night was, well, interesting. Richard Dawkins is not the best person to present it, but since I’m pretty much in agreement with him on this point I kind of overlooked that – I realise that the problem is, he’s unlikely to maintain contact with those who should watch the programme, because they’ll be all outraged by him.

But, still, if you can overlook that it’s definately worth watching, should it become torrentable.

And secondarily, you should watch Life on Mars, if you can lay your hands on it. I was a bit unsure; the BBC’s history with these sort of shows is a bit… varied. But it was so well played, and you’re never sure what’s truth and what’s not, and when it’s his mind playing tricks on him. Or the outside world finding it’s way in. Anyway, it’s bloody good, and I’m *really* looking forward to the next episode.

Anyway. I should go start thinking about lunch and dinner (have to take both to work with me).

I know, or at least empirical evidence would suggest that I am a good (student) nurse. I’ve not done anything award winningly stupid, and I’ve done some pretty sensible things. I’ve questioned doctors, because I’ve wanted a rationalle for an action. I can answer most questions with a fair degree of accuracy. On a good day with a following wind, after a while on a ward, I can do a drug round and not have to look at the BNF for 90% of the drugs.

I can bandage, set up IVs, dress wounds. I can evaluate patients, I can spot a #NOF when I walk into A&E.

So why is it that every fracking placement I feel sick and stressed before I go? Why is each and every last night before placement so fracking awful? Argh. I hate my head sometimes.

The camera, incidentally, is very nice. If anyone can get me the fracking DiMage software, not the update that refuses to install because the original’s not there, I’d be really greatful.

Go on, click here and sign up not to buy any DRM’d CD’s ever. I’ve actually got one which was given to me as a gift, and it’s a pain in the arse. I can’t play it on the PC; however by the convenient fact that my Ripping software ‘doesn’t give a shit’, I’ve ripped it to MP3.

This is because it’s convenient for me to not hunt through my CD collection every time I want to find a specific track. When I want to listen to an album I prefer to pick up a CD and stick it on, in the same way that I like popping the needle onto the vinyl and listening to an album. But… when I buy music, I buy it. That CD is mine to do with as I wish, if I want a copy to use in the car, I want to be able to make a copy. Funnily enough, the security level of a 1969 Morris Minor is not all that stellar, and I don’t fancy leaving original CDs around. Hell, I barely ever leave anything in my car.

Anything that limits my freedom to listen to the music by whatever means I choose, anything at all, I disagree with. So, yeah. Don’t buy em.

In other [chicken counting] news, I’m off to pick up a new camera tonight; it looks terribly shiny. And some has said they’ve got a video camera for me :-) Woot!

I’ve been tagged by inspector_81…

Alrighty. So this is a little mini-profile that you’re supposed to fill out if you’re tagged.
Ground Rules: The first player of this “game” starts with the topic “5 weird habits of yours” and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their 5 quirky habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

• Despite not really being superstitious (or able to spell it) I try and wear something white or with white on it every day. This is because my grandmother told my mum it’s my ‘lucky’ colour; and I could do with some luck most of the time.
• Also despite not really being superstitious, my mum always told me some days are bad luck days for wearing new clothes – goddess knows why; but it used to be easier not to argue, and now it’s vaguely embedded in my head. Of course, I can’t really remember which days. I think it was Tuesdays. Or Wednesdays. I rarely have new clothes, except at Xmas / Birthday, so it’s generally not an issue anyway. Actually, I have a feeling it’s Tuesday and Thursday. According to her there are also optimal days for wearing new clothes (the other’s just being kinda blah), but I’ve no idea what they were.
• I don’t like sitting with my legs down. I find sitting on ordinary office chairs uncomfortable, and tend to either curl up cat like (or as I am now, stick my legs out under the desk and support them on something (in this case my PC. See, tower cases, excellent devices)). I tend to sit on the floor – I like sprawling on sofas too, but I’m not good at sitting ‘normally’ on a sofa
• I hate being cold inside. Outside it’s different, I’ll generally wander round in tee-shirts until far too late in the year, and start wearing tee-shirts again far too early in the year. I don’t like working wearing jumpers, or driving, or really… wearing them. I have no idea why. I’m sure I’ll change my mind should I live anywhere cold enough to make me
• I still make sound effects for things. My flatmate at Uni, James, started this. Often swssshhing as doors closed, or flying round the flat on his jetpack… and I kinda caught it off him. For the most part I don’t anymore, but some things just need a sound effect. And occasionally doors or movement will require the addition of a sound effect

Done! Now it’s your turn, I tag howlsthunder, lizbuf, pekinjay, chrisy_m_uk & wendywoo

So,

Picture the scene, I’ve been up about half an hour, and my brain informs me that I really ought to get moving. So I faff about a bit, and eventually get it together, jump in the shower dry my hair quickly and get dressed. I’ve got a Basic Life Support session at 11 this morning, I really can’t miss it because it’s mandatory before you go into practice.

So, I piss about, up and down the stairs… I’ve forgotten a pen. Oooh, I should take a magazine in case I get there early… where’s my pad? Ack, it’s just loose paper, I need a folder… etc.

Finally, I get out the door, hop in Rebecca, turn the key. She starts, first time :-)

The clock is still going too, it’s not right, but that’s because I’ve not yet set it, but I’m starting to consider the option.

I drive in listening to the ever irritating Chris Moyles. I’ve got an old radio, of the tune-manually variety; and no presets, so since I like Radio 1 all the time *except* friday nights and when Chris Moyles is on, then Radio 1 tends to be where it sits. I endure queuing. I discover that in an attempt to make studying at UWE as a nurse as tediously irritating as possible the council have now painted yellow ‘no parking’ lines down every single residential road near the university. That’s nice. I know the locals hate students parking outside their houses, but surely they’d hate not having nurses more?

Anyway, I find a space, and now, worrying about time I start walking in. Check my watch, it’s okay, it’s only half 9. Ack! I’ve not got my ID card! Panic! Look at watch, can I make it home and back in time… no, no way. Half an hour… I could *just* make it but I daren’t try. Not with the parking games.

So, I walk on in. Half way in I suddenly announce to the world “Ah! No! I’ve got it”; which must have seemed very impressive, like some genius realising the secrets of the Earth; but instead it’s me; I’ve remembered that I put my ID card in my bag.

Clever! See.

So I get in, and I sit by the room. I start reading, I’m still 20 minutes early…. It gets to five minutes to 10 and I think, “what the hell? I can’t be the *only* one”. Then I start to get a bit panicky. Ah, I can’t check my diary… because (our survey said) it’s still sat on my desk.

I look around my bag, maybe I’m in the wrong place… here’s my purse. Ahhh 20p, I can make a phonecall home, hollar, get Trey to answer the phone and quickly check my diary. Walk to the phone… No, it now has minimum call charge 30p.

Ack.

So, I’m half way through the door towards Reception; my plan is to go ask them where the BLS session is when that small useful part of my brain, that part that clearly wasn’t woken up by the almost half-litre of Moose Mug Coffee this morning, that bit of my brain reminded me that it was at 11, not 10. So I’ve got to university an hour and a half early. Frack!

I also have brought with my: Blank paper. A ring binder. Pens. A Calculator. A ³/₄ read copy of Curve magazine. My Basic Life Support CD-ROM test results. And that’s it.

I am now bored. Poot.

No, not the excellent group, instead the words that have poured fourth from my fingers into my assignment. I have no idea how to meet the criteria in a reflective manner. What I’ve written is reflective; but not perhaps in line with the SEEC criteria for the essay. The whole of this module I’ve felt completely lost, and now I feel lost, and I feel lost with the assignment. I really just think I’m going to stop for the day. I know it’s putting more pressure on myself elsewhere, but I’m just getting no-where, and there’s no point writing 1500 words of crap I’ll have to delete later.