Category: General

…I flung out a generic questions e-mail in the hopes that a Canadian government agency might be able to direct me to the relevant bit of the government agency… or website…

…and they sent me back a quaint e-mail explaining how I could call them on this phone number from either ‘British Telecom or Mercury’.

I guess I *could* travel back in time to when Mercury were the only alternative provider and you had to press your ‘Mercury’ button before dialing (or dial 147?)… and when BT were still proud of being British Telecommunications PLC; but it’d be challenging… :-)

Hee, they know as little about us as I do about them :-)

See, now I’m bored. I’m working a night tomorrow night so I want to swing my day round – this being my pro-active method of actually not falling a’kip during a nightshift. However, the problem is I’m *BORED*. My name is Earl – ep 2 hasn’t downloaded. I’ve watched excellent TV for the last 2.5 hours: The first, I think, episode of that TV show with the mountie and diefenbaker; The Root of all Evil (which was much better, if still very repetitive – could definately have been made into one better, punchier programme. Just let me edit it! Go-on!); and finally Life on Mars.

Life on Mars is truly fantastic. It’s just so damn well done, just as you’re accepting his reality you’re jolted by a realisation that he’s in a coma… It’s just…. I am really, really impressed with the writing, acting and directing.

So anyway, I’ve come upstairs to be entertained by puny humans, and of course, no one’s actually online. They’ve got their little online icons, but they’re not *actually* online. Poot.

In other news, the Camcorder definately looks dead. I may take it apart to see if it’s truly dead – although I don’t hold out much hope for it. It’s generating a chequer-board pattern for reasons which are probably not going to become apparent. The fact it’s got no means of playback to check how a take looked certainly doesn’t make it’s chances of survival in my hands greater.

I’d feel less bad if it’d been freecycled – but someone actually went to all the hastle of finding it *for* me. Still, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

Meh. ENTERTAIN ME PEOPLE!

Well. Yes. I’ve been a bit of a nutcase really, haven’t I, recently?

I’ve kind of watched myself being a nutcase, and thought “hey, Kate, you’re being a bit nuts”. So, yeah. Look, I’m sorry guys. I’m down – yes – but that’s no reason to go dragging my freindship with Trey through my LJ – and your lives.

So, yeah. Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. And yes, I say that after I split up with people every time. I know. I’m a lousy ex.

Um. Yeah. Some posts may have disappeared.

Thanks for putting up with me.

In other news, I collected my video camera today – it doesn’t appear to work :(

So, yes. Um. That’s kind of less impressive than I might have hoped. In fact, it may actually impressively be ‘not as good’ as the digicam – even if it was working (which it isn’t). Um. So. Yes.

In other news, Rebecca now has a complete exhaust and I’ve got some shiny new headlamps to fit, which should mean that the exciting MOT day is rather less exciting. And I am knackered. I’ve been running round like some blue-arsed-fly since I finished my shift. But I think I’ve got everything important done….

What I want
Mornings to the winter and afternoons to the summer

What I want
Is for you to be waiting round the other side of every door

What I want
To walk through the wardrobe of other bodies we have known

What I want
Is fifteen minutes of you

What I want
A lover who loves me when others have loved me not

What I want
Is a big love, two spoons in a drawer, the master plan

What I want
A lover who can love me slowly

What I want
To make your heartbeat faster

What I want
Is a room with a three-bar fire, like the one you had before,
When you were poor and i just liked you more

What I want
To be in the park in the morning, the
Long shadows on the grass and the swans still asleep

What I want
Is to love you everywhere and everyhow

What I want
To kiss you until our lips are numb

What I want
Kiss you ’til everywhere hurts

What I want
Is to hear the rain against the window again

[My Sex – Elastica]

Well, possibly not death. Although, maybe we’ve just not used *sufficient* tea.

Today started well. Well, by starting well, I mean I woke up and listened to the radio and it wasn’t Spoony. I’m not very keen on Spoony. But Fay…person. She was cool. Much more my chilled out style.

Anyway, I hauled myself out of bed, discovered an absence of milk, made Kara/Kaisa style scrambled eggs and sausage for breakie (having tipped the cereal back into the packet…) and eventually headed out to a Exhaust place to find a chunk of exhaust the right width to seal the join. Found what seemed like a good piece. Unfortunately it involved climbing in the skip to cut it. Cut it. Brought it home, narrowly avoiding a probably entertaining conversation with the manager of the store.

Having got home I set too taking off the old sleeve, which had failed to seal (at all, really) – the and cut the new one to size. Only… it was millimetres too small… I tried opening it out… nope. I tried everything I could, and it simply would not go on. So, I fished around. There was a very short section of one that was the right diameter. But it was very short. Very. So I cut that… and…it fit. After an awful lot of work it fit. Only, it won’t seal. I can’t get the two ends of the exhaust to meet, and so it’s blowing again.

So it’s going to a garage tomorrow to have a sleeve fitted. Hopefully they’ll be able to get a stainless steel one too, which’d be good. In the process though I got *very* cold. Eventually I came in the house, having given up, and then realised I needed to go shopping ‘cos I’ve got nothing fresh (all frozen) to eat next week. So I did that, and then got back and felt very pissy.

But Tea. Well, Fred Dibner with Lauren, A shower, talking to Rachel and (obviously, most importantly) Tea – and I’m feeling pretty much human.

I promise.

Just, one thing today made me remember something I love about England.

It’s January. It’s chilly – not cold – but chilly. But it’s still January. And round the corner comes…an Icecream Van. Trilling out its little Ice-Cream-Van-Tune. Plinky plinky. And I’m stood there, and despite the fact I’m not that warm I think to myself: “Damn, I’ve not got any change”.

Icecreams in January. I love the UK sometimes.

I’m debating the possibility of going to some kind of GLBT club. Say, hrm, Queenshilling or Vibes.

Anyone fancy it? Not that I’m certain on this one, because, hell, I’ll have worked nights all week. But it’s tempting me (especially after hammering hell out of my ears mit der headphones und der Basement Jaxx).

So, I’ve decided to visit Earth for the day.

I was going to nip in and make yesterdays posts all private, but there didn’t seem much point. Almost everyone who’s like to read them probably already has. I know I’m not – mentally – in a good place at the moment. Well, right now I’m just about concentrating on being in a good place. I’ve even *finally* checked the oil level on Rebecca, fixed the broken door strap and pumped up the tyres (mind you, her handling was getting a bit entertaining – which could have been because one of the front tyres was ‘a trifle flat’).

Anyway.

Yeah. Days when I work are almost invariably better than days when I don’t; why? I don’t really know. I think I feel more useful when I work. Although leaving today I did – even as I walked out the door – feel my good mood trying to drain out of me like someone’d pulled the plug and it was forming a pool around my feet. But I’ve been fighting it.

Radio 1 was damn good today – the Arctic Monkeys (and I think the Kaiser Chiefs – and lots of other rocking groups) – and since then I’ve been fighting. I can feel it – like a sea. Like an ocean trying to drag me down. This is concious effort to stay positive. I know what’s there in the background.

I am *not* – let me make that quite clear – I am *not* going to let myself get the way I was yesterday. Which is hard work.

I’ve been using Music, TV, anything. Talking to friends. Bouncing at Trey (who’s back for the weekend before leaving for permanent) (although she was no fracking help. Just sat there going ‘I’m not in the mood to entertain you’ – so no Curry for her).

Tomorrow I’ve *got* to sort out Rebecca – it’s a couple of crappy little preMOT jobs. Getting a new sleeve on the exhaust – on the join where Onne had to cut it to get it shipped here; and re-adjusting the rear brakes so the handbrake doesn’t come up so far; oh, and the headlamps. I think other than that she…should…be…okay?

I’ve got the insurance renewal through, but the ‘Commuting to and from a place of work’ has fallen off again – so I’ll have to hastle them. But my MMOC membership’s nearly expired, so I *think* I might need to renew that.

But mostly tomorrow is work. Lots of work. And swimming. And playing guitar. Mostly accompanied by a large quantity of music.

Next week I’m working nights. Expect more strange behaviour. Also I’ve got my dissertation meeting on monday. So, expect *lots* of strange behaviour. I hope I remember, ‘cos monday’s probably going to be a bit manic.

And someone get me the rest of: My Name Is Earl. Northern Exposure…. and, well, hell everything I want. Now. Immediately. Make it happen wenches!

To be honest, I don’t know what to do with myself. Although there’s a huge pile of work awaiting me I am dog tired, and hunting round somewhere just above depressed. My financial situation has got me really down, I’ve got to do some shifts, but I felt so bad today I couldn’t get the enthusiasm to ring A&E.

Which, you can imagine, is pretty bad.

I also fell asleep sat on the floor in front of the fan-heater (I was practicing guitar for a while) – ended up with my glasses embedded in my hand and forehead when I woke up. I think I’m kind of emotionally drained, although I feel physically tired, there’s no particular reason for me to be.

I am too tired to work today though. Which doesn’t help with my stress levels, but I need to give myself some space for when I feel like this.

…if anything makes you feel single – how about a lone toothbrush?