Category: General

I am exhausted. But this time I think it’s reasonable. Even more reasonable.Let’s start with Monday. Monday was okay. I was more assertive, I had my own patients… but I did something which was potentially silly that I have no desire to go into here at least. It left me feeling a bit crap, really. Anyway, I got home – tired as I was having stayed up too late the night before – and then; well; yeah, I got home.

I got home and I flew through the house, grabbed shopping bags, managed to get my shopping in for a far more reasonable 20 quid, got petrol in the car (organisation, see) and was all ready when I got home – being as for once I wasn’t exhausted – to write the damn 2000 word essay.

It wasn’t going to be that way.

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So, I’ve got used to taking my own patients. I normally have 3-4 of the 6 (I’d take 6, but then the nurse I’m working with would have nothing at all to do). So, today, my mentor sent me off to take the handover for my three patients.

And she came down and I gave her a quick’n’dirty handover expecting to get on with my patients. I was going to ask her advice about one of them – I thought he might need fluids / fluid chart / reviewing. Another patient needed a relative talking to, but I didn’t really worry about telling her that; it was all in my head ready for me to ‘leap’ into action.

But then she started doing stuff. In fact, I did fuck-all-of-value all shift. And I felt like a third bloody thumb. Tomorrow I will be more assertive. I will have my usual quota of patients. But she complained at me for not handing over information regarding the relative who needed speaking to, but… I was going to do it. The whole thing left me feeling useless and frustrated because I didn’t know what she’d done and what needed doing, and so on.

Then I got back to my car – I’d had some difficulties with the seatbelt on the way to work, but I’d managed to get it to work. It now won’t work. Or it will just extend to the length of me-coat-jumper. So tomorrow I get to freeze to death on the way to work; assuming that the seatbelt deigns to extend that far. And the same on Monday. After which instead of getting to come home and write my essay I get to go to Charles Ware’s Mog Centre and complain about the quality of yet another modern part (I’d list the modern parts that’ve failed, but the answer is every single item that’s been replaced has failed several of them more than once; the exception (touch wood) is the waterpump).

So, I was pottering around the office (not much space for pottering, really) and prodding at my essay with all the excitement of a dead goldfish when Lauren arrived home and suggested that we should get takeaway.

Specifically, Mexican take away (or “my favourite” as I like to call it). So I tried to ring our well used Mexican Takeaway. There’s only one that we know of in Bristol – El Compadre. Only there isn’t only one anymore, there’s none. It’s shut.

So out with Yell.com; “Mexican Restaurants / Bristol”.

Ring – no answer. Ring – don’t do takeaway.

So we make a decision. We’ll go out for dinner. Yes, Out. Piling into the Minor, we headed out… and found that our first choice was…fully booked. All evening.

El Compadre, definately shut when we went past.

Drove around slightly confusedly.

Next choice… couldn’t remember how to get there.

But the next one, they had a table available (shortly after we got there). And the food was… mindblowingly good. My god it was good.

The dessert. It was, I’m positive, illegally good. Something small, cute and furry must most definately have died to allow a dessert that good to exist. So big thankyou to Lauren who took me out to dinner. And now I must to bed.

Oh, but I’ll share this link with you. It’s so good. And… one last thing; Toron’o. Toronto. Toron’o….

I came upstairs to work plugged in my fan heater and instead of flicking both switches to ‘on’ flicked them both to off. Thus turning off my PC in the middle of logging in. Fortunately it seems okay….

I am exhausted… still. At least it’s a late tomorrow.

I have no idea why I’m so tired (generally) – specifically it’s because I was up too late last night talking to James and Rochelle… (Toron’o… Toronto…). But it’s not just that. I’ve been tired. Really tired for days and days – and today I found out it’s not just me. The general exhaustedness seems to cover most of the people in Bath. I don’t want to be mean,m but quite frankly, it’s a relief that it’s not just me.

Another second Friday, so it’s been another Work Based Learning Day. I’m still not really getting on with this new WBLD facilitator. In fact I mostly feel like screaming after WBLD – and although today’s session was actually helpful and useful I still wish I’d’ve spent this morning doing the essay I should be doing now. Only, now, I’m shattered. I know I’ve only driven too and from Bath, but it’s just taken it out of me. Well, there wasn’t much in me to be honest.

One of the things I really want to do (as well) is sort out the house. The back room is a complete state, my bedroom’s a state too. It’s a common thing with me – post relationships (is it bad that I now have a kind of thing that happens post-relationships? What does that say about me and relationships?!) that I rearrange furniture. Tidy. Clean. I don’t entirely know why, it’s probably about control over my life.

Unfortunately, I can’t do this in this house – because my room is completely and entirely fixed. I mean, I could swap the wardrobe and the drawers over but it’d not get me anywhere. Well, actually, it might, and I’ve been thinking about it as part of something else – clearing out under my bed. I’m concerned about this allergy – I really don’t want to be taking tons of Anti-Histamines; yes, it works. But why in hell do I need it? So, plan is, maybe sort out some shelving at the end of the bed, move the stuff out from under my bed so I can clean under there and move the furniture round a bit. But this all takes energy and time. I’ve got this essay that I should be writing right now (I’ll meander downstairs and attack it again in a bit).
Oh, and I lost my bloody earing today. I’ve no idea when. This is an insane rate of loss. I’m hoping it’s going to be all entangled in my jumper hoodie which I stuffed in my bag earlier. Perhaps I should have a kip… No, probably not a good plan; I’ll just wake up grumpy and pissed off.

What happens when I click on ‘okay’. Is this just information or will my machine go into a shutdown / reboot cycle?

“Apparently, this train is no longer terminating at Barking, but is in fact, terminating here. I’m sorry about this but I too was under the impression that this train was going to Barking, but ‘they’ have other ideas. I mean, why tell me – I’m merely the driver…”

…as heard on the underground.

I’m still practicing saying “toron’o” – although I’ve yet to have evidence that it really is pronounced that way by native Toron’ions.

But at any rate, my filing cabinet which previously was decorated with the remixed London Tube map is now also decorated with a Hiker Detector. It’s like the world is conspiring to make me love Toronto.

It’s also, incidentally, printed to be exactly the right width to cover one drawer.

In other news I’m still very tired, my Cafetier is still getting lots of use, the Bourne Supremacy is just as excellent as it was last time I saw it, Northern Exposure rocks my teeny little world (but I’ve now run out), I’m still exhausted from (something), I’ve been working on my essay (I still am not entirely sure what they’re after), I’ve singularly failed to repair my rear window heater because it spent some of today snowing (not in a meaningful coating of nice fluffy snow on the ground for me to frolic in way, but in a damp falling on the ground and melting way) and ‘dry’ and ‘window’ don’t go with snow. I think that’s it.

Is that sufficent?

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