Fracking hell

So, you know when you’re in a fantastic mood, a truly awesome high, you’re running on dreams – and then something really shit happens?

*sighs*

The thing was, it wasn’t even really shit – it was just shit and I disagreed with it. Strongly. Vigorously. I suspect I did not impress some people at work today, and others, I think were probably positive about my input. Problem is, to coin a phrase ‘I don’t take no shit from no-one’, and when someone says ‘you’ve got to move that patient’, if I don’t think it’s appropriate, I’ll say so.

I’ll say so and I’ll do my damnest to stop it happening unless someone can give me a damn good reason why I *should*. And today, no one had a reason. No one with any more knowledge was available, and I started to get frustrated. I bleeped everyone and their dog. I paged people. I left messages. I started doing the irritating bleep every couple of minutes. No fucking answer.

And I started to feel very unsupported. The nurse in charge today, he is someone who I like, let’s get that straight. But he never fills me with that feeling that when the poo comes flying he’ll be there to prevent it hitting the fan. No, I kinda feel like he’d duck.

So, there I was saying ‘look, I spoke to the head of this dept and she said keep him there, and that was on saturday, and we’re being asked to do the *same damn thing* we were asked to do on saturday, and it’s no more  appropriate now than it was then; nothing has changed; why should I move him now’.

And y’know what? I’m proud of myself, because though I was frustrated and felt like crying some of the day; I won out. When I *finally* got a response from someone high enough up to actually make a decision that someone would listen to, then they agreed with me. *sighs*.

But it really took it out of me.

And then I discovered a drug error; quite a serious one, as it happened (thankfully one which happened not-on-our-ward). Which meant that Matron had to come down to the ward and deal with it. In the end I just felt like curling up under the desk.

But, on the plus side of today I did get my shot taken for the LJ Community I’ve just joined; snapshot hunter. This is my take on ‘Candy’:

Yeah, it’s the way my brain works. I’m really pleased with the way it came out though. I want to show it to people and no-one’s awake. Hell, I shouldn’t really be awake, I should be in bed, sleeping. Readying myself for another day of underpaid wage slavery work.

The worst thing for me about today was the complete and total destruction of my good mood, which is only just starting to seep back in, like the scent of flowers spreading back through a room after you’ve closed the doors. I had the most fantastic time, with the most fantastic girl for the last 2 days. I spent most of the day (when I wasn’t struggling to keep my head above water) whining about the fact I’m not with her at the moment, enjoying Spain. Anyway, it seems she made it there safely (I had that faint worry in the back of my head)… We just need to work on (as she commented) getting our time together at a slightly higher frequency.

Right. I must head to bed.