FFS Day 7

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Okay, I know I said I was going to stop. But it’s me and I’ve never been one for reliably making a decision and sticking to it.

One of the interesting things which I’ve noticed over the past couple of days as I have slowly been out in the world a little bit more (following the surgery and recovering enough that it’s an option), is that my face is different. And I know that seems obvious, I mean that’s the point. I just had FFS, ffs. But it’s different for me to experience in ways that I didn’t really realize it would be. Someone on one of the discord’s I’m on kinda mentioned it, but I didn’t realise it would affect me quite so much.

So because my orbital rims have changed, I actually have a wider peripheral view than I did before. That’s just something I didn’t really expect. Like it didn’t occur to me that my peripheral vision would change, it’s actually better now than it was before. I mean I’m still blind as a proverbial bat, and so all I really see is blurry things, but it’s a noticeable change. Another thing is just the way that water runs off my face has changed. So when I shower, the shampoo and water go different places than I’m used to. Some of that is probably because my head is still largely numb in many places and my forehead has patches of sensitivity and patches of numbness which probably makes it harder for me to predict where the water is going and going to go when it’s run off those areas which I can’t feel. But I am having to shift the way I deal with soap and shampoo.

Anyhow, it is fascinating to me that as the world’s perception of me has shifted because of FFS, so my perception of the world has also shifted.

Since I’m here, I’m still pretty much the same – easily tired, verticality takes it out of me kinda quickly. But otherwise okay. My wonderful wife is such a sweetie and looking after me so well :) She’s just the best.



Kate's a human mostly built out of spite and overcoming transphobia-racism-and-other-bullshit. Although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, it's all good.