Blog

For the second time in my life I’ve watched the so-called medical profession assume that they know better than the patient what is wrong with them. Aisling nearly died because of it. And today one of my friends was admitted, sent home and then re-admitted at 1am, by me.

And the Doctor kept talking over her, and ignoring her, and saying she should go home and that it wasn’t a fucking emergency. He wouldn’t listen, and he wouldn’t fucking take in a fucking word. Every time she tried to speak he spoke over her. Every time I said “can you please let her finish” he’d talk over me.

He presumed he was God’s fucking Gift, and he knows less than fuck all. He tried to pull the abusive patient shit. If I ever have to work with him I’ll damn well let him know what I think of his ‘bedside manner’.

Fortunately, I actually work in the NHS, so I know who to ask for and who to request, and what to say to make them keep someone in. So she’s in overnight. But I’m scared for her because they are so fucking useless. And I am so fucking angry that so-called doctors like that continue to work in the NHS because it doesn’t deserve them; and they don’t deserve to be called doctors.

Is undoubtly not the one that I’ve just handed in; but the one I just handed is pretty bad. Not in the sense of being ‘a bad essay’. It’s reasonably readable, the grammar is okay, the spelling’s good. It’s well referenced. It just doesn’t really answer the question very well.

Oh well.

Anyway, today I’m going to have a look at my motorcycle.

Yes.

I will.

I promise.

So,

Coffee helps. So much for cutting down my caffine intake. I’ve got one ‘section’ more to write – the essay is now offically “long enough”, but if I can write say, 400 more words, then it’s just nicely over the word requirement, perhaps enough to make up for the complete lack of answering the question.

Nyargh!

You know when you realise that you’ve

a: not answered the question
b: not done research which would answer the question well
c: not asked the right questions of the people you’ve spoken to

?

Well, that’s what I’ve done. I went off at a tangent when I was doing my essay research….without realising. And it’s left me in the entertaining situation that most of my research, although interesting (did you know that in America, ethnic minorities with diabetes have a poorer outcome regardless of socio-economic position, and that women get charged more for the same length hospital stay with the same treatment? No? I didn’t either, until I did this research) is only really background to the question – if indeed it’s usable at all.

So, my answer kind of repeatedly veers off at tangents. I just hope it’s ‘pass’ grade. I’m not convinced it is. But at least, if I fail, I can go and ask people the questions I should have and write a damn sight of a better essay.

Anyway, I should get back to it. I’d like to get it finished today so I can spend tomorrow resting and doing things for me, something I’ve done far too little of in the recent past.

Still doing the essay. I’ve taken breaks for food, sleep, to get some food shopping, and Battlestar Galactica. I’m now completely wrecked, I’ve still not finished and I just want to sleep.

I want to sleep so badly, but instead of sleeping I’m probably going to have a whacking great cup of coffee. I’m just waiting for my old Suzanne Vega CD to finish ripping, but it’s stuck on track 15. I’ll probably stick it in the WinPC and see if that does it. Oooh, bizzarely ripping all the other tracks first and then ripping track 15 seems to have cured it. How odd.

Am now worried about moving house. I hate moving house, I knew I’d have to, but I’m going to have a second car in tow, one which I can’t use on the road. Unless we move *before*. I dunno. I’m just tired and cranky and I’ve got 600 words left to write. At least I’m quite pleased with my conclusion (yes, I wrote that just now, ‘cos I worked out what I wanted to write). Anyway, ripping complete so I’m going to go and do some more essaying.

Incidentally, sorry for the downtime yesterday. This is because I’m a moron and I renewed the wrong domain name.

So. Been doing essay on and off all evening.

1,542 words. Of 4,000. Nearly half way.

It’s a hard one this one. Mostly because I know what I found interesting about the research, and to be honest, it’s not quite as relevant to the question as I’d like. I’d really like to write about why diabetic patients have poor outcomes, but it’s not really the question.

Ah well.

Still, saves me overpapering the thing I guess.

Anyway, whinge: Why is it whenever I check the milk I buy in the supermarket it’s a perfectly sealed container. I have never, not once, not ever, found an open one in the supermarket. The only occasions I get leaky containers of milk are the times I forget to check. Mysteriously, then, I’ll select the leaky one, and stick it in the top of my shopping where it can leak all over anything, or like today, I’ll leave it lying on the seat. Thank god for vinyl upholstry. Now there’s a phrase I never thought I’d say.

I shall mostly be writing my essay….

But I thought I’d share one of todays Darwin Award candidates. The man who, this lunch time, attempted to use a set of jumpleads on a petrol station forecourt. Thankfully, someone spotted what he was up to and said “Nooooooooo!”

So there you go.

Anyway, back to essays.

…or at least, me talking about my problems helps me to change them.

The things that I’ve known I do for a long time, and which I needed to change, I feel more aware of. I feel like I can try to change some of them.

This is ‘a good thing’ :)

So.

Councelling.

Yes.

I am exhausted. There’s so much to talk about, and so much I need to think about. Why did it all have to come out when I’ve got an assignment to do? Why do I find this stuff so easy to write when I should be thinking about the pile of paper over there. Why do I feel a desparate urge to buy Podge and Rodge DVDs when I should quite definately *not* be spending money.

Stress.

Tired, exhausted. I keep coming back to that. I am exhausted; mentally and physically.

In case you didn’t know, the music behind the K700i mirror ad is “Death In Vegas – Hands Around My Throat”. This is the second Death in Vegas song I’ve heard off an ad. I’m beginning to think it might be time to invest in a Death in Vegas CD. Any recommendations anyone?

In other news, TV is evil. I now want: Joan of Arcadia, Battlestar Gallactica, Dead like me (because my DVDs never did arrive) and The L Word on DVD. Nyargh! I want!

I never used to really watch TV and now there’s 3 series which I watch, (including Long Way Round, which I’d forgotten about) that I want to *have* for me so I can watch them. Oh, and a decent tv. I wonder if I’ll win that Sky competition for a telly. That’d be nice. I’d have to sell it, but at least I could buy a decent lower-end one….. although that might encourage me to watch more films and TV. Hrm.

My list of CDs that I wish to own grows ever larger; and my need for more storage space so that I never actually have to piss about with real CDs…… God I’m lazy :)

I wonder if I can make the other laptop I’ve got ‘go’. That’d save a lot of effort on the music player front! God I’m lazy. Anyway I should get back to my study of diabetes…..

Oh…and I’d forgotten, I want the Invader Zim DVDs too…..So much for my not-involved-in-consumer-society thoughts!