Category: General

I didn’t get the job in Manchester. My qualification doesn’t come through in time. Reasons I shouldn’t have found that out at work:

– I don’t work so well when I’m trying not to cry.
– I don’t drive so well when I’m angry and fed up.

I expect the people who heard me shouting *FUUUUUCCCKKKKK* as I drove along were quite shocked. Not, though, as shocked as the 5-series BMW with which I kept pace on the way home.

Bad Kate.

I’ve calmed down now, I’m just unhappy about it.

LEE, my off duty this week. Late, Early, Early. Whilst I am not fond of Late Early I can cope. But Late Early Early leaves me wanting to curl up in a corner and die. If I actually went to bed then it’d be fine, but I’m lousy at going to bed…

Anyway. So. Tired. TIRED. Need to stare at Dissertation some more.

Food time now :-)

John very kindly gave my my birthday present, 512 Shiny Megs of RAM. Hopefully the PC will now run much, much faster. We’ll see how we go – although I’m pretty certain that a new install is running towards me at speed.

Mrr.

I really am very tired!

Number 1: Update Winamp. My machine has been a bit squiffy since…errr… ages ago. I get odd runtime errors on quitting lots of apps, but it’s actually been stable with it – so I’d been studiously ignoring that problem. And then up popped Winamp with a “Serious security problem” – please, it said, please let me update to 5.24. So being as I’m weak and stupid I did so.

My machine has since become as stable as a dog on wet lino.

So, now we’re running XMPlay, which is what I used to use on my low-power laptop. This is fine. This is okay. I am, however, a trifle peeved at having to endure crashes thanks to Winamp.

So, I had a good day. A really good day. I took my bay, I managed my patients and prioritised care. I admitted and discharged people. It worked. It felt good. I drove home in my insanely better looking minor – considering the quality of the bodges – but the white grille really makes *such* a difference. It’s astounding.

And it’s very white.

Anyway, I got home and I came in. And Lauren wasn’t home, which confused me. But anyway, I came in, I stuck the kettle on and put on the first of the records I got while I was in Manchester; Runaround Sue. I now want more 60’s pop records too. As I danced my way around the lounge grinning like a maniac I did wonder what people walking past would make of the shadow leaping around.

Then I suck on Teenage Rampage; the second of the records and danced my way round making my tea.

Of course, then I came upstairs and read the snarky e-mail from the Critical Eval in Adult Nursing woman (Caia ‘screw you lady’ Frances). Let me just thank her for her support and encouragement. No, hang on, let me tell her to get stuffed for her lack of support and encouragement.

This is the woman who said if our marks were delayed, our resubmission would be too. That was a LIE. This is the woman who said “come to me for help and advice” – and she’ll say what “You had the comments”. Well, thank you *so* much. Suddenly an awful lot of the support I had for the lecturers evaporated. So, *you* can hand back work late and that’s *fine*. We hand it in late and that’s a fail. Well, to quote an excellent author – Go Stick Your Head In A Pig.

*sighs*

Still. Well. Oh, I dunno. I just hope I get this job, at least then I’ll have something to look forward to. Of course, there’s this girl I’ve met online who, well…  I dunno. I like her. I just seem to have lost the knack of getting to know someone online. I’ve sent her a letter-on-postcards though, mebby that’ll work better.

I need to take it slow this time though, I really do. No matter what my heart might say I shall be listening to my head (yeah, right). Still, living in a different country should reduce the potential for mind blowing acts of stupidity :-)

So, Um, Yeah. Trains. Not as unpleasant an experience as previous experience had indicated. My only real issues – one of the little dinky trains was cancelled (but the other one was running so late it meant that my schedule didn’t actually change). And the train on the way back was somewhat cramped; it was like flying but without the charm of going to another country.
Good things: Both the interviews are over. I only completely fluffed one of them (I rambled about MI’s for about 5 minutes when they’d asked about cardiac arrests. Fuck me if I didn’t look like the worlds biggest moron). The other one actually seemed to go okay, which is cool. I really like both cities, and both hospitals come highly recommended. So.

Yes, Manchester has won me over, despite my hotel being a hotel which I’m sure had obtained it’s little RAC diamonds from e-bay, and despite my own poor planning, and despite the rain (look; it’s north; it’s cold and wet. Proof is mine! It *always* rains when I go North, always. Which is good, ‘cos I like Rain ;-) ).

No, seriously, I liked Manchester a lot; Missed Brum a lot; Spent an awful lot on very nice food; spent an awful lot on very nice books and Manga (xxxHolic volumes 4-6; Never Give Up (random choice); Strangers in Paradise – Pocket book version, Vol 1; and a random Lesbotic Thriller – which adds another random lesbite writer to my list of writers to obtain books by). I also, err, picked up, a copy of Fluxx.

Um.

Yeah. Spent way too much, problem is boredom and a limit on how much time I can spend drinking coffee.

So. I await the outcome of the job interviews with nervousness. Nervousness and a level of tiredness which – after a long day at work and an early shift tomorrow – may leave me lying on the floor gurgling.

So I just got this call from my credit card company, very chatty, friendly like… They said “you’re a valued customer, you always make your payments, usually early… but you’ve not paid this month”

ACK!

I realised I’ve not paid either of my cards off at all, not paid lauren her rent… So Stupid! Never mind, sorted now… but I don’t half feel like a Moron.

Incidentally, thanks to Fwink the Webcam is back. The only issue with Fwink is it needs a start / stop webcam button on the main window… Otherwise it’s dead simple and that’s exactly what I want.

So, I was thinking my life was a bit stressful but then today arrived, and I was reminded that it’d been a walk in the park.

I went to my tedious Work Based Learning Day, and then headed to Bristol Temple Meads to pick up my tickets; having struggled through the city roadworks in 27+ degree heat in full bike gear I then made it to university to collect my assignment. This assignment, the one I got my friend to read through, well it was one of very few assignments in this time at uni where I wasn’t in the slightest worried about it. In fact, I thought it was damn good.

I was wrong.

It got 30%. That’s a fail, incidentally. Comparing it to the marking descriptors it appears to me to still fit what they’ve asked for, it’s got lots of comments on it, none of them good, some of them showing the marker doesn’t really understand the reflective model I used, but I’ve clearly missed, entirely, what they’re driving at – and you know what – the comments don’t help me to see what they were driving at. The comments imply, to me at least, that what they wanted was a reflective piece (which would be a reflection on a reflection) when what they’ve asked for is a critical evaluation of a reflection.

So, I felt about an inch tall when I opened that. In fact I swore quite a lot. Then I got on my bike and pulled out to the UWE junction, where as I went to pull away I heard a BANG followed by a distinct lack of forward motion. The engine was still running so… I looked down, there was the chain. I knew the chain needed replacing because it’s stretched unevenly, but I didn’t think it needed replacing just yet. Apparently I was wrong. With some struggle I got the bike back to the parking area – the chain whipping round and clouting the number plate on each revolution (and yes, I am aware of just how lucky I was, again).

Of course, at this point I needed to be back home, so I could drive to Oxford and collect my mum. Only I wasn’t at home, I was 3.3 miles away dressed in full, black bike gear. In 25-27ish degree heat. I started walking. I walked and walked, and I sweated. I swigged from my bottle of luke warm water and finally got home; saturated; dehydrated and tired. I grabbed money got in the car and headed off.

Having stopped to fill up Rebecca with Petrol and obtain fluids for myself I set out. As we crept closer to Oxford the uneven running got worse and worse; I’d assumed that the points were out… they were. In the end I made it, collected my mum and got back. By the time I’d got back the car wouldn’t idle and the accelerator essentially acted as an on-off switch. Either we could go flat out; have halting lumpy running or nothing. Pulling away was flat out-slipclutch-judder.

Having looked the points were indeed way out of adjustment, the crap modern parts having worn away distressingly quickly (an electronic ignition module is looking awfully tempting); of course, having adjusted them I noticed that the screw which holds the vacuum advance in position had wandered off, perhaps touring Europe’s Art Gallieries; who knows. However, it wasn’t *there*; Lauren located a likely candidate which was screwed some of the way in and then loctited (it’s apparently not quite the right size :-/ ); another bodge in a list of bodges that’s getting ever longer.

She also kindly gave me a lift to my bike when the recovery company rang; my bike is now sat rather forlorn in my garage. Sadly I can’t order the parts until Monday; except that I can’t even order them then because I’m working a long day. *sigh*

I’m so tired. So fed up. I just want to curl up in a ball; it so doesn’t feel worth all this at the moment.