Failure

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When I did my Biochem degree, I didn’t really work as such. In fact, I barely worked at all. In fact, even implying that I worked might be inaccurate to an incredible degree. So I was used to failure. In fact, I felt a total failure most of the time, but I was depressed and I didn’t really care about myself.

These days I’m a much more sane and happy bunny. Indeed, in general I’m a pretty happy individual, but not today, because today I got back the “I didn’t get it” essay. I didn’t get it when I handed it in, I didn’t understand how an essay that was, as far as I could see, descriptive could include the extent of critical evaluation required to be a level 3 essay. Others, they did, I just couldn’t grasp it. I still haven’t entirely.

Unfortunately, phrases like “very descriptive” and “should have” are scattered through the non-marker’s comments (because they’re working to rule and not marking). I’m 95% certain I’ve failed this essay. Which is the first essay in 3 years which I’ve failed. It whines about me not including a private reflection, which I referenced correctly but didn’t include (what with it being *private*. Fucking uni). But mostly I’m trying to summon the will power to look at it. The worst thing is that if I got 40% (i.e. just a pass) then I could disregard it, ‘cos you get to disregard your lowest mark if you do the disseratation. But if I fail, then I’ve got to re-write it, but I’d still be limited, I think, to 40%. Fuck.

I’m obsessing about it too. I can’t stop thinking about this stupid damn essay.

Ah, examining it makes me angry. That helps loads. Comments like “use reference more judiciously”. After “Use available resources… (BNF, research articles)” it says “eg. read BNG, Nursing standard”. How exactly does her fracking comment differ from mine? ARGH. Oh I hate this management fucking crap.

KateWE

Kate's a human mostly built out of spite and overcoming transphobia-racism-and-other-bullshit. Although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, it's all good.