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My dad is in hospital again. He’s been in hospital for a couple of days now; and is very ill. A stent (thing used to open up the bowel when it’s closed off by cancer), one of many in his bowel, has pierced the bowel – meaning that semi-digested food can get into his abdomen.

This is bad.

It’s very bad.

The outcome of this, if left unrepaired is basically a huge, huge infection and death.

But my dad is to weak at the moment to repair it; which is what he wants to do. He’s terrified of death, it scares him so very, very much that he will take any chance at life.

They’ve given him 3 options:

– Die quickly and painfully (do nothing, have some antibiotics)
– Die slowly and painfully (put in a drain to try to reduce the chance of a quick infection, have antibiotics)
– Have a large operation, which it’s quite likely will fail due to the extent of the cancer (it needs a section of completely cancer free bowel to work), and where there’s a good chance you’ll die on the table.

He’s chosen the last choice, which is I guess what he wants. I want to go and see them, to be there at this time, but my mum won’t let me. I don’t want him to die when I’m not there.

And my mum… what will she do?

KateWE

Kate's a human mostly built out of spite and overcoming transphobia-racism-and-other-bullshit. Although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, it's all good.