Well, it’s over. The male-role-play stuff is done. I’ve finished, forever.
It’s funny, it feels kind of odd….I spent this evening removing what remained of my “male” homepage, a site which has continuously existed for 3 and a half years or there abouts….
And been through 7 revisions….
And was where I learned to code….
Odd.
Today was kinda strange, leaving work for the last time….I drove out those gates having realised I was better liked than I’d ever realised – and I feel kind of bad about deceiving them. I mean, some of them were really nice and seemed genuinely dissapointed to see me go…
Anyway. It’s nice to finally be me (with Blue nails, booze and a comfy chair :-)…
I feel I should write so much more I have so many odd thoughts running around my head. The good times in my life, the sh*t I’ve been through….I dunno what I’m thinking. I know this is what I need to do, but it seems like such a non-event having got this far….
Should I be celebrating….or should I be contemplating, or what. How should I feel? I’m happy; It’s wonderful to know I don’t have to fake it anymore, but at the same time it’s odd. Odd to be me. I’m so used to the protective shield of my “persona” that it seems odd to think that finally it’ll be unveneered me talking to people.
I realise this probably sounds like neurotic rambling – but hell, it’s free – so you can’t complain <g>
Anyway, current plan is to get this Java stuff sorted (now I’ve actually got a compiler on here….) and…well. Get good.
Finally, I mentioned the ultra-cool-fact that I have a server which plays music – well…well, it’s sorta fixed. If you use mpg123 then it plays them :) This appears to be ‘cos it doesn’t update the screen during playing – which is what causes the problem with the soundcard – however, this is not really a permanent solution…
But it’ll do for now
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