30th Sept 2000, 1215

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Okay, just thought I’d natter….I woke up this morning desperately down, why? Because I felt so lonely – I just longed to roll over and give someone a good morning hug / kiss. It actually took me ages to get up, because I lay there feeling depressed that despite having sorted the rest of my life out I still always fall for those I cannot have. I’m sure that one day I’ll find someone. Well kind of sure. I think there’s a vague hope that oneday I might find someone. Perhaps. But at the moment, there’s no-one there and it hurts sometimes.

Anyway, having hauled myself out of bed, and done my mornings ablutions, I looked through my post….

It’s funny – after 22 years there’s not much left of “my” life. No bank details, no university details, not even car insurance! Sure, theres historical evidence, but…well. It just seems a bit odd – and it made me smile to think that I think apart from my driving licence (for which I need some photo’s, and so it’s waiting for a day when I feel I look female)…or at least until next week and my passport – which is waiting for me to do my driving licence…I have no ID for my male past, letters which arrive (unless they’re important and I’ve forgotten to tell someone) just get returned with “Not known at this Address” on….

It’s good. I’m finally me. It’s taken me 22 years to get here, so not the quickest becoming of self ever, but I’m here – and I’m pleased.

Anyway, I’m meant to be doing java, but I’m just doing one of those periodic “let’s put these documents away before they get lost” and “let’s put these somewhere sensible so I don’t stand on them” type things.

Oh, and – I’m resisting the urge to go and buy computer bits……although I’d very much love to….

Mmmm, 256Mb ram…Mmmmm, a big hdd and a P150 for playing music (with a nice shiney soundblaster)…

Oh, one cool thing I did do this morning. I was sat there thinking


“Arse, I’m going to have to make up a lead to go from”
[Nightstar, the DVD machine] “to” [Noachis-Terra, the P75 Music playing machine]
“and I bet I don’t have any connectors…or cable”
But, in a fit of tidying I bunged two old speaker cables in the “Audio Cables” box, and lo, when I looked in there, there was a nice, shiny, (new!) stereo 3.5″ jack -> stereo 3.5″ jack connector – which is exactly what I’m after….

I have this word I feel the need to say, but I shouldn’t becuase it’s an awful word and I hate myself for saying it….oh, sod it…

Coolerama <g>

/me laffs and dissapears off to deal with the 8-million bits of paper she has lying around….



Kate's allegedly a human (although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise). She's definitely not a vampire, despite what some other people claim. She's also mostly built out of spite and overcoming oppositional-sexism, racism, and other random bullshit. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, she's here to reassure that it's all fine.