14th Sept 2000, 1900

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Well, I’m truly shocked. There are still people reading my diary…y’know I thought you’d have all got bored by now…not only that but you do what I suggest….

How do I know this? Well James, who’s newish site (“The Dark Library”) I mentioned last time – keeps a page referal thing – and he actually had hits coming from here!

So, there you go! Of course this made me wonder whether I could persude people to do other things…so…may I suggest that those of you that fancy it send me all your spare cash? I think that’d be handy…..

Anyway, so how’ve I been? And how’s my promise to stay more cheerful gone? Well, today I was happy….and yesterday apart from very late at night I was happy, however on Wednesday I’ll admit I was miserable as sin. A friend of mine rang and I refused to speak to him, knowing that I’d be in tears….

Anyway, I think I’ve decided there’s another problem which is causing me these mood swings. It’s that I realised I’ve never really had the full range of emotions before. I was kinda depressed, mooching along in a kind of middle of the road state. I was very rarely truly happy, or, on the other hand truly sad.

Rather than experiencing life I merely existed. Although I cared about things, people, and whatever….my real emotions were covered, or not there. And the only time they came out was in moments of real stress, or when I was very, very drunk. From which comes my feeling that drink frequently accentuates whatever your mood already is….

Anyway, yes. So, I think emotions take a while to get used to!

Finally – I managed to score a tank of petrol today, okay so it’s LRP, okay so I payed 87p per litre, but hell….it’s petrol….(and although it means I have to go to work tomorrow, (unlike today <g>) – it also means I can go to Bristol this weekend <gggg>).


PS. In other news, I changed my name today. As of 11:15 am today I am Officially Miss Katherine Elliott.


Kate's allegedly a human (although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise). She's definitely not a vampire, despite what some other people claim. She's also mostly built out of spite and overcoming oppositional-sexism, racism, and other random bullshit. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, she's here to reassure that it's all fine.