8th Sept 2000, 12:59

Comments Off on 8th Sept 2000, 12:59

Well, I’m not exactly much happier, but at least I’m not crying now….I went to work today and just about made it through, although I was nearly in tears for no good reason several times – which was fun.

I suppose, reading yesterdays comments I just felt that they weren’t how I feel now. I think, having calmed down I don’t feel quite so bad about myself. Not good. I wouldn’t go that far. But not so bad. I think, with Linux, the thing is unlike with RISC OS where I was unafraid to do stupid things, and unlike Windows where I’d seen it in use loads – all I’ve had very little experience of Linux for such a long time. And that that I had of Unix was not at a level where I could “play”. I could fiddle, mildly, but I did infact spend most of my time doing project related stuff.

I also have no-one to just hang around and watch – and thus see it in use…so it’s kind of harder to pick up stuff (since one of my main methods of picking up skills is just to watch – which probably drives people nuts).

So, yes. Anyway, with my dad’s help we’ve maybe got something compiling although neither of us could work out which package it was in – so it was just a case of “install all those which it suggests”. Anyway, the compiling has got much further than before – although my system appears to be limpingly slow. I’m thinking PCI soundcard (SB 16 PCI or nearest equivalent. I think it’ll end up being the SB128 ‘tho), more memory and maybe, just maybe it’d be a little bit more bareable.

Anyway, yes. I also think I know what had upset Java….but fixing it’ll probably upset what I’m building today. Never mind.

My head is still filled with thoughts of my uselessness and my manyfold failures – but I think I’ll survive. I think much of this is caused by my job which just makes me feel like shite every time I go in.

Anyway, never mind.



Kate's allegedly a human (although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise). She's definitely not a vampire, despite what some other people claim. She's also mostly built out of spite and overcoming oppositional-sexism, racism, and other random bullshit. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, she's here to reassure that it's all fine.