13 Jun 2000, 23:13.40

Comments Off on 13 Jun 2000, 23:13.40

The stress is definately getting to me. I can tell this because I’m screaming at things. This is never a good sign, and what caused it was a simple issue. Me wasting 113 pounds because f*cking Pioneer were to f*cking lazy to respond to any of my mails.

And one wasn’t sent through the pile of cr*p that is red hot ant, so I actually believe it should have arrived.

Now, wasting 100 UKP isn’t good. But wasting for no good reason, when you couldn’t really afford it is worse. I’m hoping that the company in question will take the drive I bought back – but if not, then I’m stuck with a new DVD drive which I can’t afford – and which hasn’t fixed the problem.

What is the problem? That my DVD’s corrupt the screen, then crash the software when playing. Why did I think it was the drive? Because it started with a specific kind of disk, then spread, like a virus, to all my disks, which suggested that the drive itself was dying.

This doesn’t explain why I’m screaming tho’

It’s stress, and the stress of pouring this money away just sent me over the edge……I can’t afford it anyway. Why the f*ck was I so stupid?

Why was I stressed already?

Because I can’t cope with living 2 existances, I can’t cope with lying to people about who I am, I want to be me – all of the time.

It takes me over an hour to get dressed in the mornings now. That is insane – but I simply don’t want to go anymore. I just want to cry atm, I want to be me – I know who I am; it took me 21 years to get to that stage, I don’t want to waste any more time.

Oh god…..I’ve had enough……

I just don’t want to do this anymore.



Kate's allegedly a human (although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise). She's definitely not a vampire, despite what some other people claim. She's also mostly built out of spite and overcoming oppositional-sexism, racism, and other random bullshit. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, she's here to reassure that it's all fine.