Category: General

  • 06/13/2002: Odd mood, continued.

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    06/13/2002 Archived Entry: “Odd mood, continued.”

    So, yes. What prompted me to get a live journal was actually a rather long and convoluted process; and one which is related to my rather odd mood I suspect.

    So, long story.

    I can’t exactly remember what I was doing, oh yes, I can actually. Being very, very bored, I was trailing though the links page on here, and I suddenly thought, “hrm, I wonder how Kim Wall is getting on”. Now, a bit of explanation. Kim is someone I met a longish time ago (3ish years), who was on a mailing list I was on. Now, I didn’t know her, but I liked her posts, and y’know how you can be vaguely attached to people even if you don’t really know them? Well, Kim was one of these people.

    Not only that but she was on one of the IRC channels I frequented (I think), and eventually was part of the group of people who started the mailing list I now run. So, very infrequently I tend to have a nose at her website and her live journal – although I’d not really looked at (or noticed) her livejournal before today. Long before the LJ, I met her briefly at CCDE2000, which was nice….albeit brief….

    Anyway, so, feeling a bit rough – I’ve been out for exactly the wrong period of time – too long to be able to stay inside and too short to really get the benefit of going outside (it’s funny, but I always feel crap when I do this).

    So, back to the main tedium. So, anyway, happened to read some stuff in hers, then ended up following links all over the place – and seeing livejournals of people from my not-so-distance past…

    Which was a bit weird. But anyway. Yes, in the end it lead me to the ‘I may as well get a livejournal’ kind of thought, just because, well, it did. mmm’kay?

    Where is it? It’s here.

    [Who’s livejournals did I visit? Well: beth kim Nat]

    If any of you don’t want to be associated with me, e-mail me here.

  • 06/12/2002: Cars

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    06/12/2002 Archived Entry: “Cars”

    Sometimes you have to be impressed.

    A car, which has sat for about 5 months, not been turned over, not even been sat in. I get a new battery, put it in, a little bit of oil in the top end of the engine, try number one. Nothing. Try number two, coughs. Try number three and it starts and runs – after a few seconds it starts sounding properly smooth again.

    You gotta be impressed by that.

  • 06/12/2002: sad..

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    06/12/2002 Archived Entry: “sad..”

    So, the credits for Knight Rider came on. And I turned to Lauren and said “oh, that’s odd, it’s not in pursuit mode”. Then remarked that I felt sad for noticing that. To which she pointed out that it’s “Super Pursuit Mode” – so now I feel a little better :-)

    Replies: 1 Comment

    oh dear god I need a life

    Posted by lauren @ 06/14/2002 11:40 AM GMT

  • 06/11/2002: more awake

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    06/11/2002 Archived Entry: “more awake”

    So, it seems I was a little tired when I wrote the slightly short entry last night – so here’s the long form.

    I went home for the weekend on Friday – well, for Friday afternoon and Saturday – sadly my dad is getting rather depressed – mostly due to the anemia and the difficulty he’s now having thinking about anything complex – which is probably the thing he values most about himself. He’s always been incredibly intelligent and… well… Anyway, hopefully the iprex, or eprex injections will improve that soon – and my mum’ll be nagging him to keep going in the mean time. Although it really brought home to me that he’s still ill seeing the sharps bin in the bedroom.

    So, anyway, saw my little nephew John again – although he’s now big enough that I did my whole uncomfortable “how the hell do I hold this child” pose, leading to my sister taking him off me for a bit until we’d managed to sort out how to hold him. For once I’ve not come away feeling maternal – possibly because I can see how much work he is – in some ways he’s quite like me, and in others not at all.

    He’s quite like me in that he doesn’t want to be left alone at all, but not like me in that if you give him a doll he smashes it against you, the ground, the walls, chairs, anything he can reach, wheras according to my mum I’d sit and cuddle the doll. So there you go.

    Anyway, so, john, my sister, her husband, and his parents came round for a few hours, which was really nice. Yes, yes, I know terrible word, my english teacher would kill me.

    So, then I spent a relaxing saturday morning mooching around Marlborough with my parents – waiting for the Peugot to be MOT’d (it passed this time). Picked up a new photo album – the old ones, ‘cept the “holiday” album are all full – side question; Why is it that they can’t keep the same design of photo albums for long enough for me to actually buy matching photo albums? I mean, okay, the old ones are all binders full of the self adhesive stuff – and they’re fairly hideous, but then there’s 2 batches of WHSmith albums, 3 now, and *they don’t even slightly match*. Actually this one is at least the same height as the previous ones, just a different colour and different design on it. Grr.

    So, yes, back to whatever it was I was talking about. Yes. So. Spent saturday afternoon sorting through bits and bobs in the garage – chucking away enormous amounts of crap that I, well, made my parents drag from one house to this one (well, to be fair I was at uni and didn’t really have time to sort through it). A couple of years worth of Practical Classics went in the bin, well, to be recycled, Select and Q magazine….all gorne. Various other bits and bobs…it’s a bit job – not made easier by the fact that quite a lot of my stuff is fairly inaccessable.

    Then there was Sunday (see, I said I did lots this weekend). So, I went over to Aylesbury to see Peter, stopping briefly on the way to take some photos and break the film in my camera (grr – I’ll know if the photos survived later today). Let’s just say something about Aylesbury, it’s EVIL.

    So, I manage, eventually, to navigate to near peter’s house, I say near, because on the map you’ll see the road joining another road. Unfortuately, in reality it’s blocked off by a big set of bollards. So I sat in the car and I looked at the map and had this weird realisation, I couldn’t actually see how to get to peter’s house. It seem to exist on a set of roads not linked to by anything. However, there were definately cars the other side of this set of bollards. I went and looked. They looked real, and it seemed unlikely that people had them airlifted in – and so I wandered over to Peters house (little did I realise how dangerous this was) – and he showed me the more modern map which shows the interdimensional rift, and the portal:

    corrected map of aylesbury

    And then using the pgm beamed us back to where I’d left the car (crossing into the rift via the old portal is very dangerous, which is why they’ve blocked it off) and we re-entered the area using the new portal (the PGM it appears can only open portals large enough for a couple of people).

    However, my journey was only barely begun, for we had to pass through the Watermead nightmare. This area was put in to test the strength of character of would be travellers; weird child-like visions assault your senses, while roads which would appear at first site to be main trunk roads lead, in fact, to double garages…. Strange, bright colours and impossible buildings appear before you.

    With Peters guidance we managed to make it through, although it seemed to me that we would not make it at several points – and we arrived safely at his house. After which we had to cross through it again as we headed out into the centre of that town known as “Aylesbury” – where we went to watch a film and eat crap food.

    Nachos. Yes? We all know what nachos are? Little triangular things, yes? No. Apparently they’re very, very small bits of triangular things – with a dip called “cheese” which tastes of mustard and a dip called “salsa” which is water with red colouring in.

    Despite the food the film was excellent, well, I liked it, but then we know what my taste is like. Spiderman, is the film we saw – which I won’t talk about in case there’s anyone reading who hasn’t seen it.

    So then we met up with Lauren, after some minor crime, and we went bowling.

    We went to Hemel to go bowling, and to watford to pick up Lauren. This was all *very* weird because neither of these places seem to change much (although I’d forgotten that watford’s main shopping centre was built by someone with no spirit-level, it’s the only shopping centre where an escalator can actually end up on the same floor you started on) in the 5 years I’ve been away.

    Hemel particularly. I mean, Leisure World (or Le  u e  o r d to give it it’s correct name) hasn’t changed at all – apart from the movement of a few of the games. It was very weird to be back there – but it helped me face some of my demons and I did it with my friends there.

    Although peter hustled us when we went Bowling.

    “Oh, I’m crap at bowling” (scores 0, 3 in the first two goes), and then, and *then* he gets two strikes in a row and ends up beating both Lauren and I by miles. Crap at bowling, uh hu.

    We also all crammed into one of those portrait machines – leading to a really really bad picture.

    Now, I’d stop now, but I still haven’t finished.

    We decided to head back to aylesbury to get food, and on arriving there I suddenly thought “let’s see if James is about”. So we popped over, and I fear we interrupted a nice romantic evening he was having. But we had a really good time (and I got to meet his girlfriend properly – which was cool), until I realised that it was “getting late” – at which point we hurtled out of his house, which felt rather rude given that we’d only just finished dinner (James stood up to look at desert possibilities and I saw the clock….).

    Anyway, we then headed back, and when we got back (after traversing the portal another two times, I hope it’s not bad for you…) found Carol and Ruth had come to visit. Which was both good and bad. Good in that it was really nice to see them, bad in that it was already midnight and they were heading off fairly soon after we got back. Ah well.

    Then there was yesterday – when I stuck the new downpipe on my motorbike and did, with help from Lauren, loads of work on the back garden (which is now merely grass and gravel away from looking like a garden) – and with Laurens persuasion had a go at the front garden – which after she’d done lots of work now has some much neater edging, and short grass. It looks way better, indeed, some might mistake us for a respectable household.

    And then, then I went to bed.

    Today, well, today’s another busy day – but it’s all going to get done *after* lunch :-)

  • 06/11/2002: Gah (hang on, haven’t I used that title before?)

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    06/11/2002 Archived Entry: “Gah (hang on, haven’t I used that title before?)”

    Ever have one of those days where everything you touch seems to go wrong? Mmm.

  • 06/11/2002: Hrm

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    06/11/2002 Archived Entry: “Hrm”

    Should I change my entry on Friends Reunited to be more, well, helpful – so people can work out who the hell I am?

  • 06/10/2002: Tired

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    06/10/2002 Archived Entry: “Tired”

    Tired.

    Really tired.

    Really, really tired.

    Went out at the weekend saw peter james stephanie lauren saw spiderman rocked had fun drove home did gardening bath sleep now.

    tired

  • 06/06/2002: So…

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    06/06/2002 Archived Entry: “So…”

    I’m feeling much better. I don’t know why I had the sudden bout of depression yesterday – well, probably stress over money combined with a few other things. And me feeling fairly useless. And being fairly useless.

    Anyway, today I’m feeling much better. I got lots of hugs from Lauren last night which helped loads :-)

    So. Stuff to do, people to see…

    Replies: 1 Comment

    “And being fairly useless”
    I seem to recall that we decided that you weren’t useless. I think it was discovered that Kates are good for hugging purposes.

    Posted by amy @ 06/08/2002 03:21 PM GMT

  • 06/05/2002: Stress and Money

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    06/05/2002 Archived Entry: “Stress and Money”

    I’ve reached that terrified stage where I know what I need to do but am at the moment too busy panicing to actually do it. I need money, and I need it this month – otherwise there’s no way on earth I’m going to pay off the credit card bill at the end of next month.

    I can’t pay anywhere near the amount I want too off anyway – which is stressing me out.

    And I’ve got to pay for the bike insurance…which has to come out of real money, not pretend credit money, which is a nightmare. I have to change insurers next time – which is a shame because I like the people I’m with, and they’re reasonably cheap – but they don’t have credit card facilities.

    I hate not having money – basically, I’m scared shitless.

  • 06/05/2002: Moron.

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    06/05/2002 Archived Entry: “Moron.”

    I can’t believe that I’ve been such a fucking *moron*.

    It appears that when I last used the RiscPC the work I did I either failed to save, or saved in such a stupid place that it’s got deleted – although I can’t imagine where that’d be.

    *Sigh* I don’t know how long I’ll be beating myself up over this, but some time I should think.

    And I just managed to fuck up using BitchX. For fucks sake. How fucking useless can I *be*?

    *sigh*

    I’ve got an interview tomorrow at a courier firm – so, I hope I stay alive long enough to actually earn some money. Of course, everyone who suggested it/agreed that it was a way to earn some money if I was desperate has now turned around and said “you can’t do that, you’ll die”. Oh good. Thanks. WTF am I meant to do? I’ve got 2k in credit card debts to pay off, and 1.5k of overdraft that I need to be out of by August – by preference, given that at that point it starts being an interest charging overdraft.

    I’m *fucked*. There’s fuck all work here that I’ll cope with – people don’t realise how much having no job/a shit job affects me. I end up completely depressed within days – and courier work may be fucking awful – but it’s fucking awful where I won’t have hours and hours to wonder where the fuck my life is going.

    I know what I want, but it just seems so out of reach right now.

    This is *not* the way I pictured my life.

    FUCK.