Category: General

Okay.

I’ve just found out what the “FUNDS TRANSFER” which has been going out of my account – most months, for the past few months, is. It’s been one of those things, because I’ve been making my bills I just assumed it was something I’d set up and forgotten about; a payment to Telewest perhaps, or nPower, or some similar thing.

But no. Oh no. This is money that’s been taken from my account – as far as I am aware without my permission by my business account manager. Or some minion there of. To pay off the loan to my ex-partnership – where I’ve already paid off half the fucking loan. The other half should be in debt management with my ex-business partner but ‘oddly’ they keep getting the wrong documents.

I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to get around to sorting this out, and I’m furious, raging, & incredibly angry that they’ve deemed it ‘acceptable’ to take money from my account without my permission (aka steal). I’m waiting for a call back from my ‘esteemed’ business account manager (the one who’d rather I go into debt management and they get fuck-all-back overall than actually take a decsion).

This is, as far as I’m concerned, theft. And I hope to hell I can get this fucking money back.

So, I’ve got no money coming in this month beyond the basic – the income I ‘always’ get – although I might manage to get paid by the NHS for my commuting fees – but that’s (a) in the future and (b) less than 1/3rd of what I’d hoped to earn over this month.

So, I could (very easily) decide to curl up in a ball and wait for the ‘summer holiday’ to end; but that’s not going to happen. Nuh uh. What I’ve got to do is use this as an opportunity. There are countless things I’ve wanted to do. Now, most I can’t actually do because I’ve got no money to do them. But there are a few tasks for which I’m already prepared.
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I’ve over caffinated myself. Two coffees at 7:00 and 8:30 – and now it’s 23:47 and I can’t bloody sleep.

I’m going to do my Summative personal assessment for my A&E placement (since I can’t sleep). I’m really going to miss that place, but I need to earn some money – so I guess… yeah. It’s probably a good thing that it’s over.

It are raining.

It’s been raining most of the day.

So what happens? Our water main has exploded! Voosh!

And uh, we’ve now got no water. Apparently we’re not going to have any water all day. Brizzy water have turned up and given us some finest bottled tap.

Mind you it did provide a huge amount of amusement as someone in a huge 4×4 ‘merkian stylee pickup-super-armoured-personel-carrier-hyper-truck forded the, oooh, inch deep water at all of about 0.5mph, obviously fearing the terror that could be unleashed by dampening their vehicle

And in other news I’m reeeendering viiideo.

That’s the primary thought in my head. Well, uncomfortable and not designed for laptop computer usage. It’s a wicker chair, with a cushion on it. It’s all lumps and arms that are too hard and too high. I’m not a big fan of wicker. It looks nice though.

That’s all a lie of course. (more…)

That’s what everyone keeps saying every time they come in to my parents room. Every time. For the last 2 days that I’ve been here, the same track of Tibetan Buddhist chanting has been playing, continuously, on repeat. It’s not a complaint, it’s beautiful music, slightly sad, but very relaxing.

Which helps.

My dad has rallied since yesterday; indeed, he’s sufficiently ‘with it’ to decide that he doesn’t want morphine. Morphine takes the person away, not the pain – at least that’s the way I feel about it, and so does my dad. Which is not what he wants, he doesn’t like being asleep all the time (he hates the fact that he’s constantly asleep) – and so upping the morphine is not a plan he likes. So now, we’ve gone for fentanyl, or more accurately he’s gone for an increased dose of fentanyl.
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I’m going down to my parents today.

I went down yesterday with Trey… coincidences… Trey was off sick yesterday, I filled up my car with petrol without needing to, I walked a longer route to the education centre than usual – so I heard my phone ring (normally it’s on silent during the day)…

…so I could go to my parents.

I can’t remember or find the name of the ceremony; it’s a Therevada Buddhist tradition, and done near death, when an individual is dying, chanting the five precepts (to refrain from destroying living creatures, to refrain from taking that which is not given, to refrain from sexual misconduct, to refrain from incorrect speech, to refrain from intoxicating drinks and drugs which lead to carelessness) – which although I couldn’t remember outright I could at least remember well enough to chant with my family and the monk who came to perform the ceremony.

Today my dad starts on a high dose morphine pump, and from today he will essentially not be there.

So yesterday, while he could still take part, we performed the ceremony.

At his request.

It’s the first time in months he’s managed to stay awake for more than a few minutes.

I keep crying.

I rang my placement today and told them that I’d not be in and I’d sort it out when I came back. I could barely stop myself from crying just talking about stupid crap like that.

I’m trying to sort out stupid uni crap before I go back.

I should eat something. And pack. And go.

It was good to be there yesterday. Important.

I should eat.

I was going to take the tumble drier I got my mum down. But it’s raining.

Breakfast… I guess.

Bleh.

It’s nearly time for my August holiday (6 entire weeks of ‘relaxation’)

My plans for the summer are subject somewhat to change, depending on variables like – how my dad’s doing, how my car’s coping, when I get my bike back, money…

But, all in all, it’s pretty simple.
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