It has come to my attention that if I go to the Christmas Party this year at work I will have to wear a new dress. This is because my one viable party dress, which I like very much, I wore last year. To the only work event I’ve been to, with the same people who’ll no doubt go this year, and I like to at least pretend to own more than one item of posh clothing*.
Therefore I will have to go dress shopping.
There are no words for how much I hate, loathe and despise dress shopping. It is an experience which feels personally tailored to hit all of the things I dislike about my body and make them prominent and totally and utterly depressing.
Essentially I go try on dresses, go ‘oh, I look like a pudgy weetabix in a dress’ and take them off again. Or, on more depressing occasions, ‘wow, this looks great, apart from the fact that I can’t get my enormous broad shoulders into it’. *sigh*
Then I swear, hand on heart, that I will exercise this year and this will be the year that I lose the podge that I loathe.
And then I don’t.
And then this happens.
Did I mention, I *hate* dress shopping.
* Technically I also own a very nice, if rather revealing, Chinese style dress. Which I’ve worn to other works’ other events. But I’m not sure I can carry it off anymore, as I seem to have got podgier despite cycling and eating more healthily. My body and I, we don’t get on well.
