2008 has, for several of my friends sucked an astonishing amount. And it’s been surprisingly challenging of late for me. My oldest friend lost his dad 2 years ago (I think) to the same cancer that claimed my dad. This year he lost his mum too; something which has been stuck in my head since. In the quiet moments I think about it; it makes it harder to concentrate on the good in my life.
I’ve also had some hard stuff at work; including a post-cardiac-arrest where I felt more useless than a chocolate teapot. I’ve done my ILS – which in theory is meant to mean I can ‘lead’ a cardiac arrest – if no one else is there. But with the doctor in charge doing less than nothing myself and the other nurse there flailed – expecting leadership and finding none. Thankfully an anesthetist took over, lead the care and once we were up and running it went much better. Well, sort-of. The whole thing was just…well, it left me feeling that I need to know more. My problem is that between the house and work I’m pretty much exhausted. I don’t feel like learning at home because I’m too tired.
I know that’s a feeble excuse. But I mean it; it’s a hard old slog. A few days ago I was officially the only nurse doing ‘treatments’ – that means that everyone who needed a treatment in the clinic or who needed sutures or dressings had to have them done by me. About half way through the day when the treatments box was full staff from other areas were freed up to help. In the end it wasn’t that stressful because I just declared a ‘fuck-it’ and carried on at my own pace. I didn’t even think about the 4 hour target except to order the order of treatments. No breaches, though, which would have made the morning way more stressful (mostly because we had lots of clinic patients and not too many sutures until people were able to help).
I am also still a little on the stressed side about money. I know that Rebecca’s going to be ‘ready’ soon; and that’s going to be, well, expensive. I need to send my letter to Charles Ware’s Morris Minor Centre, butÂ I don’t see them sending me a refund of any sort. I see a fight involving the small claims court.
I’m quite fed up about it though.
In other news, I’ve finally finished the tiling in the bathroom. I’d been putting it off because I had a suspicion that it’d be a pig of a job and… it was, somewhat. The boxing is just slightly too big and I’d made it impossible to make all the joints line up because I’m some kind of mad person who likes to cause herself pain. And today, all things being equal there’ll be some grouting and some kitchen stuff done.
And lo, the house moves on.