So, I got the response back from my re-written essay. ‘Still needs work on it to pass’. *sigh*.
She’s commented that some things aren’t integrated and that it doesn’t flow well – and she still doesn’t see what changes I’ve made to my practice. I knew it didn’t flow brilliantly, it’s a first draft afterall. But the rest. The rest I don’t get. I’ve just written a very long e-mail, well, moderately long, because I just *don’t* get it.
Perhaps having a resubmission one year from your dad’s death isn’t the greatest time to do things. But I feel alright, really, just I’m beginning to feel really fracking stupid. I know I’m not, but how can this essay be so… I dunno. It’s just.
Argh. I want to curl up in a ball. I’m so frustrated. I thought it was fucking good the first time – but no, it wasn’t right. So I talk to her, she says ‘include this, that, etc’; so I do, now there’s what? Not enough depth? It’s not got enough of the letter q in it? “Transference isn’t integrated”. I talk about it in the reflection, then discuss it in the essay, what more integration does it need?!
This time I thought it needed tidying but nothing that an hour with a highlighter and a red pen wouldn’t cure. But no, apparently I can’t write essays anymore.