I have finally found something that scares me. My dissertation.
The section I’m about to write is a puny 4,500 word, I’ve been thinking it was 6,000. But. I don’t feel like I know the papers well enough. I don’t feel prepared to write it. I’m fucking terrified. I keep looking at this other person’s that I printed off to get a ‘style’. It’s fine. If only I could *actually* feel like I could write it.
I need to start, but I’m feeling slightly sick. It does, of course, make a difference that I actually care about this topic. I want to do it justice, not rattle off another managementese essay. The phrase “get a grip woman” springs to mind. Aaack. But dissertations… well. I need to get a good mark on this. I fudged my IP3 essay – which I expected to, but I’m also concerned about [whatever that previous essay was about, I can’t actually remember]. So this is my chance to make sure I get a decent final grade. There are no exams. This is it.
And that’s why it’s scary.