Secret life of Kate

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Apologies before I start, I read my post earlier – and decided I really was too tired to work. My plan to do work after I got home changed when I realised that my English had deteriorated to the level that I saw…
So, there are things about me that no-one knows, not even my exs, although I think that’s something that needs to change with my next partner. Some of these dark corners are getting dusty, and I’m lonely in them ;-)

Anyway, there are some things about me that aren’t secret – not as such – but they do seem to surprise people; the first of these is that I cook. This tends to come out quite quickly. I rarely eat anything which isn’t prepared by my own fair hand. By which I do not mean ‘I pour a sauce on and cook some meat and rice’; no, I mean starting from raw ingredients; I can’t remember the last time I had jar-tomato sauce. This is not to damn those who don’t cook. What you eat is up to you, I just like to know what I’m eating… and I prefer the taste of my own food to shop-bought-food. Even if I am trapped in a white sauce / tomato sauce / curry loop (that’s not so true now, I’ve been doing more dishes, just to maintain some interest in the food!).

The sad thing is, the thing I really love cooking? Desserts. I love making desserts. It brings me great joy to produce something incredibly delicious as a dessert. I don’t mind cooking mains and starters, but it’s desserts which bring out my real pride. I remember making a Sylabub when I was about 13; my family were amazed – they thought it’d collapse, but no, it was just right. This is not bragging. I can cook. I can’t sew. Hopeless at sewing. Once sewed my GCSE project to a chair level of bad.

One of my other big secrets (for big read small) is my secret femme identity. Yes, I’m exclusively revealing to you, the entire world on the internet, I actually have femme days. No, really.

I won’t lie, I love working on my car and my bike – when it’s warm and dry the intellectual (problem solving, at least) and engineering challenge of it all makes it fun, and my dad brought me up to see beauty in good engineering. Both the Morris Minor and the MZ are beautifully engineered solutions to problems.

But there are days when I don’t feel like that. The days when getting oil on my hands really isn’t what I want, and when I do wish I didn’t look quite so butch. Why? Because some days, if I put on a dress I feel staggeringly clumsy. Meh. Mind, I look okay in a dress, I just don’t wear them often enough – a phrase you’re unlikely to hear often – and so I don’t entirely feel comfortable. And there are days when I wish I had the patience to do something good with my hair – I mean, now it’s short it’s much less of an issue, but when it was long – the odd french plait or a ponytail (99% of the time). What a waste!

Of course, until I finish university, and I start maybe having enough money to do jobs on the car / bike properly – and not cut off every conceivable corner, and thus end up doing most jobs 8 times, then the nice femme girl, she’ll have to keep putting up with the oil on her hands. Mind, she’ll still have to put up with that afterwards, because like I said, I do enjoy it. But I’m more of a balanced person, y’know? I’m not all butch.

Some of me is a rock-chick. No, you dirty little sods, not that kind of Rock Chick. And more of an Indie Chick, anyway.

So there you go. Sharing, Kate style.

KateWE

Kate's a human mostly built out of spite and overcoming transphobia-racism-and-other-bullshit. Although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, it's all good.