Cut for miserable whinging on Boxing Day.
Feeling bad about Trey again. I walk into the bedroom, and there’s everything just as it was on the day we left. Her stuff strewn around the room, her stuff in the bathroom, her stuff. Her smell. Her.
….I’m trying to get into the whole ‘oh, I’m single and blah’ stuff, but I just… don’t feel it. I feel sad. I don’t seem to be able to cry about it at the moment. I feel so exhausted. My dad’s illness and death; it really took it out of me, completely and entirely. And now this, I don’t have the emotions left to feel. I just feel raw sadness. No anger, no crying, just sad. Like being sucked into an inescapable pool of darkness. I know, it’ll pass, in a few hours I’ll feel ‘okay’ – just my current normal level of sad – and I’ll put on a happy smily face for my mum – but right at this moment I just feel… sad.
Enough. I’ve got to go.
