Ultimately it boils down to this

Monday. 1300. Me in a bank.

Bancruptcy or a future.

I can do this if they’ll help me for a year. But if they won’t then I’ll be swimming in a stream of shit for 7 years.

Fuck I’m scared.

So fucking scared.

I want my life. I want my cosmopolitan life with fucking eating out, with going out, with seeing my friends, with a FUCKING HOUSE. With my partner. I’m so scared that on monday they’re going to put that off for another 7 years. 7 years of living like a fucking student in a house that’ll never belong to me (us) and with no fucking credit to buy things. How did I end up here.

I just hope to goddess that next week is a ‘good’ week, not a bad one.

If he’s convicted, incidentally, can I sue the person who hurled abuse at me? Anyone know?