Is it my organisation that’s killing me – or my lack of it?
Is it my desire to be a nurse?
Is it trying to do a degree, trying to sort out Regolith, trying to keep a an MZ and a Morris Minor going without the cash for basic repairs?
Is it living in a house that’s way beyond my means?
I dunno. I’m not down, don’t think that I’m down. It’s been an odd day, watching season 2 of the L word – I’ve got one episode left, apparently, the finale of the L word Season 2 – which I’m really desparate to watch, but haven’t got yet. (no spoilers, I promise (to be fair, my only spoilers were totally false ;-) ))
I’ve got several things on my mind:
– Learning objectives from this placement
– Essay for module which has to be in on the 14th June
– “Exchange” Parts have to go back – which means taking them off the engine they’re on.
– Rebecca still needs ‘final’ jobs (like fitting the right carb – and therefore obtaining an exhaust manifold for me to cut up)
– Regolith (ex-company with huge debts that I used to run)
– Tax I’ve not paid yet. Fuck.
– Money I’m owed by the NHS.
– Preping ‘beccamog for Pride, and doing the playlist [both things I’ll really enjoy, but need to do].
– And so on.
The TV Licencing people have written to me, again, saying I don’t have a licence. They sent round a TV Licence inspector, and he took all the details… and again they’re sending threatening letters. These days I just let them. They can turn up if they want. They can waste their money, I’m not spending my money on ringing them.
When I got in to uni today, the first thing anyone said to me was ‘You look knackered’. It’s how I feel. I need this upcoming week to not do anything big – but I know that I have some jobs that ‘need’ doing. A thought which does not fill me with joy. I really need to actually do the final Regolith accounts. I really do. But I hate doing it, and it’s just going to be depressing.
I just don’t feel like working right now. I just uh… want to lie back and let the world wash over me for a bit, but it doesn’t seem to want to do it. BLAAAAH. Tired blah. Need snuggles – and some time with Trey. That’s what I need.