Eep, I should be in bed!
Anyway, something occured to me so I thought I’d put it down….I was thinking about things which have changed since I started hormones, this was prompted by me noticing that the hair on my body really has changed. I wish the hair on my arms would get thinner…or stop growing altogether (I’m nothing if not hopeful!)…and it’s changed all over pretty much, a fact which has cheered me up…
But it’s not just the physical things that have changed, there’s been a shift in my attitudes to things. For example, I never used to care how I looked. Well that’s not strictly true – I used to care that I looked male, I hated that. I still do. But now I care how I look. I actually make sure I brush my hair before I go out. I’ll very infrequently go out – even just to post a letter – unless I think I look presentable.
It’s kinda odd, but it’s also kind of nice – I think it’s possibly a sign that I’m beginning to care about my body – rather than treating it like sh*t ‘cos I didn’t want to be in it….
Other things have changed too, for example, I actually eat vegetables now, I have salad in my sandwiches! It’s a small thing, but it’s there. I’m self concious about the fact I really am unfit, and quite annoyed there’s not much I can do about it here (being as I won’t go near a gym) – I can’t go running – which is the one thing I used to do – ‘cos living in the middle of no-where has major dissadvantages on the road saftey front.
I also, actually, would like to see daylight, and go outside – which is kinda odd for me! No, it’s not, I used to go hillwalking, but I’d put up with being at home, using the computer for days on end. I’ve done it for 2 days now and I really need to go out tomorrow….
So it’s all good stuff really, I’m probably going to end up more healthy, more fit, and so on….but it’s kind of odd – looking back and knowing how I once was….
Anyway, one other thing. I’ve been considering putting up a bulletin board as part of the site….and I’m wondering if it’ll be worthwhile….
So…if you think it will, or won’t, then give me a shout….
And finally (yes, I’m aware the previous thing was described as “one other thing)….I…actually, this isn’t finally, there’s going to be something after this too!
I’ve been made an op on an IRC network. This is a fairly odd thing to happen – why? Because I’ve very little knowledge of IRC – but scarily people seemed to want me to do it – becuase they think of me as being very unprone to tantrums, which is kinda nice.
It’s odd – but also means that I feel obliged to read up about IRC – lots! And I don’t really have the time to do that…
Argh, it’s midnight….I wanted to get to bed!
Anyway, I just wanted to say a big thankyou to some of my friends who’ve really kept me cheery recently! So, James, Donna, kira, Rachel, Tam, Leah, Martin, and to be honest, most of the people on #icq, #afp and #crafty. Thankyou. I’m very, very, grateful…..
If I’ve missed anyone out, I’m sorry! Remind me! I’ll pop you up too…I know its dangerous doing these thankyou’s, esp when it’s late at night…..so….
I’d also (while I’m in the thanking mood) like to say thanks to all the people who put up with me at uni…..becuase they made what could have been absoulute hell – great fun, for the most part….and they continue to support me now :-)
Sometimes I think I’m very lucky…..
Anyway, I’m really off to bed now…so g’night…
—
Kate
