Mostly lemon based

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  • I could cry.

    I could cry with frustration. Brick won’t start. The bloke I bought the ignition parts from went on holiday; and came back a few days ago – but the parts aren’t here yet; so I’m still running on a very dodgy points ignition. Yesterday the car started first time every time (there were several places I went). Today, won’t start.

    So I had charged the mog’s battery yesterday, I slung that in the minor and prayed, but old petrol and 4 months of standing have done nothing for starting performance. After about 5 minutes my neighbour came and had a go at me about my cars not starting – we managed to reach a concensus when I explained that I had ordered the bits for the viva – but that they’d not come yet – and that I really did understand it was annoying for them, and that I wasn’t even meant to be using the minor but I needed to get to work and had reached desperation.

    But the minor would not start.

    So I have an MZ – which will start, but is devoid of MOT and Tax. I’ve a minor that won’t start, but has MOT and Tax and a Viva that has MOT and Tax and also won’t start. I’ve two flat batteries and I’m going to be very late for work.

    I’m going to charge the battery until about 10 to 8. With my ‘fast’ charger. I’m hoping that’ll give it enough to get the car going; but I’ve no idea why it wouldn’t start. The gap wasn’t too bad not perfect, but not too bad. The threadlock clearly’s done nothing for holding the points in place, as a side point. But if it won’t start I’m fucked. I can’t ride the ‘zed there; not unless I get an MOT, which at 8am? Going to be challenging.

    Traffic’s going to be a bitch anyhow.

    *sighs*

  • Possibly I have 4/5ths of a new job

    Um, well. Not to jinx it, it’s only a possibility; but I’ve been pre-offered a 4-day a week temporary contract in the ED at St Fred’s Hospital for the Clinically Unwell. The job’s very existence needs confirming, so it’s all floaty in the air. But hell, I made it through the interview and I got selected, it may be 4 days a week, but people leave, so maybe it’ll up to 5 eventually. On the biting hand, it’s going to be hard to afford the mortgage – I’ll have to ensure that I average 1 shift of bank work a week, which is uh, going to be interesting.

    But. I am happy, if scared. Yes.

    :-)

  • Home again

    So, I’m all interviewed. I think it went okay, hopefully I should hear today whether I’ve got the job(s) – there are apparently some temporary contracts going – which leads me to an interesting question – do I go for a temporary job in the ED? I suspect I do – depending on how long ‘temporary’ is.

    I read my comments from my mentors, and tried to remember that I’m a damn good nurse, at least some of the time. And I stumbled my way through the interview and at least looked conceivably like I knew about policy.

    I hope it was enough. I guess I find out soon. I should (and will be) tidying shortly. But at the moment I’m sitting mulling and trying to distract myself from the thought processes about the interview. I hope I came across well.

    So, in the name of distracting myself – this movie (in seven parts) looks really interesting. It’s the kind of thing I’d’ve loved to be involved in, but I doubt I have the skill yet. I need more practice. Hey! Nikki! How’s my song coming along?! James! Any luck with the models? :-)

    Heh.

    And it’s raining; not consistently hard rain, but irritating rain – enough that I’ve not yet headed out to remove the wheel from my motorbike, which I really should get on with. Yeah.

  • I didn’t know where my life would take me next.

    I forgot to post on Snapshot hunter this week; it was meant to be this image – but I often forget which day I need to post things by. The most annoying thing is the two times I’ve forgotten I’ve had really good shots. Although I wasn’t 100% decided I’d only uploaded this one for ‘wet’. Anyhow.

    In other news, here’s some more new music. Indie pop, for those who’re not wanting to use up clicks.

    Tomorrow is my interview, and thus I should go to bed soon. I’m feeling a little teensy bit tense. Really quite tense. Incredibly tense. No, that’s excessive. I’m quite tense though. I think I’ve got my four H’s and four T’s. I’ve thought of answers to the questions like ‘why do you want to work in A&E’ and ‘what would make you a good A&E nurse’; I’ve got a couple of questions to ask, I know what I’m going to wear. I found my brief/attaché/whatever case and prep’d the folder with a few ‘samples’ of my portfolio. I think that’s it.

    It’s still scary though. Wish me luck; I *want* this job.

  • Survey doojit From (and created by) Kathryn…

    What makes you feel…

    Happy?
    Spending time with someone I care about. Good music. Both of these have the ability to raise my spirits.

    Sad?
    Thinking about my dad, and his illness.
    Excited?
    New creative input. A new song, film, book, comic, picture – anything can get me terribly excited. I’m also a car/bike geek enough that, given the right stimulous I can get excited about bits arriving (Oooh! A new distributor…). And with the current situation, progress on my house makes me excited.
    Furious?
    Pretty much nothing makes me furious. I can be quite annoyed by things, but very little actually makes me shouting and kicking things angry. Usually, if anything does it’s myself – usually when I’m trying to do something practical, make a bit of a mess of it, get annoyed at myself, make things worse and then end up shouting/swearing at [the object] when really I’m shouting/swearing at myself. I am best avoided during these moments. As I get older they get less common, although I can still reach the stage of hopping around and kicking mechanical objects.

    I very rarely get upset at people. And when I do, I tend to go quiet.

    Giddy?
    Love.

    Annoyed?
    The destruction of civil liberties, and our willing loss of them. The destruction and privatisation of the NHS by various governments. The inequalities that exist in this world because of sex/gender/race/colour/sexuality.
    Loved?
    Spending time with Kathryn; my family; my friends. All of them make me feel loved :-)

    Terrified?
    Interviews. Interviews terrify me. Sometimes the news is terrifying. I look at the world and I think what the *hell* are we doing?!

    Passionate?
    I don’t really know. Sometimes something just sparks inside me and I know I care – and have to do something. And I can be passionate about politics, people, or the sudden need to cook something insanely complex.

    Nervous?
    Ah, no. Interviews make me nervous. Nervous *and* terrified.

    Thoughtful?
    Reading and films – they’re the two most common ways to make me thoughtful; and obviously discussions with friends; most of my friends have political and religious viewpoints, and we don’t adhere to avoiding discussing religion and politics.

    Hurt?
    When someone says something thoughtless.

    Blissful?
    Curling up with someone I love and relaxing.
    Lucky?
    Looking at my life. For all the bad and hard, I’m lucky. I’ve got a job, a roof over my head, a partner, and friends. What more do I need? (Oh, uh, let’s skip over the 2 cars / 2 motorcycles, then we get into ‘insanely lucky).
    Guilty?
    Buying non-fair trade, non-organic foods. From lidl. Damnit.

    Calm?
    I’m always calm, like an ocean of calmness in the middle of the sea of relaxed. Heh. A space on top of a mountain, looking out at the view. A swim in an Edwardian pool. Eating dinner with my friends and relaxing.

  • Damnit, another pretty book

    Lookie at Core Memory. Prettyness and geekyness.

  • Building, Norwich and so on…

    So, building work progresses apace; well, a-limp is probably more accurate; however there are distinct progress signs, and a feeling of positivity descended (until today when I realised I’d have to pay to get someone to wire the kitchen, which is going to be ‘spensive, ‘cos I suspect I need an RCD unit instead of my current ‘fuse box’). At any rate there is progress, at one point the kitchen was a place of great danger... but now there’s a wall and in fact, plaster. I’m waiting on a ceiling though.

    So anyway, that’s the building work news. I do like to keep you all updated.

    In other news, I spent a fantastic 2 days up in the land of Norwich – relaxing and generally having an awfully good time with Kathryn. I headed up on Friday, and… well, actually Kathryn posted about it here – it seems silly for me to post the same stuff again. But what I will do is share a few pictures with you…

    While we were walking back from Norwich, me with my newly shorn hair, I saw this window. I’m sure I’ve seen it, and possibly even thought it was pretty before, but I actually (in a real change from the norm) took my camera with me…

    It’s such a beautiful window despite the decay…

    And then I’ve finally got some nice shots of Kathryn who amazingly didn’t notice the camera in time to stop smiling…twice.

    That second one, that’s a shot of her taking pictures of an abandoned shopping trolley….through an abandoned shopping trolley.

    And finally, I thought it was about time I had a new picture of myself, it’s not like I’m that narcissistic, so you don’t often get to see me…so, um, yeah, anyhow – it’s my Journal, why’m I justifying it?! Anyhow, this is me in the Sainsbury Centre for the Arts (or some approximation of that name).

    Of course, the interesting thing about that picture, apart from looking like some gloriously 1970’s white shiny plastic future is that it’s actually shot in the toilet. Yes. But I was so enamoured with the sparse, utilitarian whiteness of it, but at the same time it’s faint feelings of futuristic luxury that I had to get a shot.

    We were there to look at the photography exhibition (from the V&A) and also to nose at the art nouveau display. Both were interesting, whilst the photography exhibit – a lot of the images were excellent – as you’d expect, but failed to speak to me in any meaningful way. At the same time, there were some really fantastic images which were just incredible. Inspiring…

    The art nouveau display was also interesting, I’ve always struggled with art nouveau, because I adore some components, and other bits really just do nothing for me. Again, like the photography exhibit there was some stuff which was incredible, and again some stuff which failed to reach me at all. What did reach me though, was watching one of the staff discussing a tattoo – it’s interesting to hear people who really know about art discussing tattoos, reminds you that they are an art form in and of themselves.

    Anyhow, after a cream tea (yum, and surprisingly reasonably priced, although why I say it’s a surprise when I’m in a place that’s let me view lots of art for free….not sure) we headed back through the rain, and Brick declared he wasn’t going anywhere. Now I know I wanted to stay there with Kathryn, but this did lead me to have a stressed few minutes. See, the screw that holds the points in place, it’s stripped of thread so only kinda loosely holds them. So the timing wanders slightly – which hasn’t really been an issue once the car was running, but has been a little bit of an issue when starting. Thankfully I’d got a receipt in the car to use as a feeler for the gap, and having adjusted it he started quickly enough. I’ve just disassembled the points, slapped some threadlock on the base and put them back together – hopefully that’ll hold it okay until I get the electronic ignition from the Viva club bloke.

    On the way to the photo exhibit we ran into a little abandonment, shots of which are here.
    In other positive but unrelated news, my tyre arrived today for the ‘zedly Cherry, so I shall (on Thursday, I hope) disassemble the wheel and run it down to my local tyre place. All being well, we could be MOT’d and back on the road by the end of the week.

  • Abandoned Norfolk

    So, while wandering with my girlfriend we came across pseudo abandonment. It’s odd, because the adjoining buildings are part of an active university faculty, but these buildings, which one presumes are simply completely surplus to requirements are clearly in severe disrepair. There’s a sign up on one for planning permission to convert it into a bar…

    Whilst the fencing wasn’t exactly set up to prevent entry (there was a huge gap in it), the buildings themselves seemed fairly well sealed…

    This is actually the roof of what appears to have at one time been a stable. Further along it’s completely collapsed, big gaping holes allowing water straight into the building, this bit however is fairly much intact.

    A shattered light fitting hangs from the wall; I’m not sure when we stopped using ceramic for light fittings, but I think probably in the 50s…

    Interestingly it shows signs of having been rewired though, so perhaps the building’s been actively maintained until more recently.

    And another shot of that roof.

    On the opposite side of the courtyard there’s a barn-like building; a selection of broken and boarded up windows and doors bar entry; it appears to have some storage use – despite its condition. It’s even got new padlocks on some of the doors – despite the fact they don’t look like they’ve opened for years.

    For some reason that glass in the previous shot was a complete nightmare to focus on. I’ve no idea why. It took about four shots before I got one that was in focus!

    Looking downwards through the missing glass panes, you could see into the barn like building.

    But from another angle you could actually see directly in – and it also appears to have been used as a stable…

    Then there was this pair of round windows… reminds me of “playschool”.

    In between them was this door; freshly padlocked and yet overgrown and with the metalwork the padlock’s attached to showing no signs of having been moved at any point in the recent past. No scrape marks…

    Oddly, near my girlfriend’s house there’s a bit of abandonment, well, several bits, and so just ‘cos I’m too lazy to stick it in another post, here’s the abandoned shopping trolley :-)

    Hope you enjoyed the pics :-)

  • Flit-tastic

    Normally I’m pretty good at concentrating. I’ll sit and read entire books cover to cover given the opportunity. Most of the time I’m happy to read from page 1 to page n of a (research) paper without too much hastle. Good days, I can read several papers in a row. Magazines tend to annoy me because I finish them in minutes.

    But at the moment my concentration span is that of a gnat with ADHD. Because I’m trying to study, ready for my interview (revise? learn? something) at St. Fred’s, but I feel like I have so much to learn. I’ve kind of got half way through the European Resus Council’s recommendations, and then lept wholesale to ‘Emergency Nursing made Incredibly Easy’ (which suffers when read here, because it’s very American, and this is the NHS, and doesn’t work that way).  But I’ve revised my ABCDE (Airway, Breathing, Circulation, Disability, Exposure), I’ve got my 4H’s and 4Ts (four main causes of cardiac events: Hypoxia, Hypothermia, Hypovolemia, Hypokalemia (and other metabolic causes); Toxins, Tamponade (cardiac), Thrombosis and Tension pneumothorax) (damnit, couldn’t remember the last T) (from the ERC recommendations). I’m remembering how I used to assess patients coming into the ED in my training…

    I’m trying to come up with good reasons for employing me, and good reasons for me wanting to work in the ED (“it’s fun!”…no? darn… I’ll work on that then). And all the time I’m feeling stressy as hell, and I can’t concentrate on any one task for more than about 30 seconds.

    My all powerful lord and master has promised me the day off as Annual leave despite it only being a week away. Since I’m taking it as AL I’m not so much feeling the need to tell him about me going for an interview. It’s not a good time in Q-Ward, with a big (and frankly unjustified) complaint and lots of staff off sick; so me adding in the stress of ‘Hey, I’m going for an interview’ just seems a bit unfair. Of course, I’ll have to tell him if I get the job…

    Yesterday was a nightmare on the ward, with the duty-matron telling our nurse in charge it was unacceptable for him to say we weren’t able to take patients (despite the fact we were running on very low numbers because we were meant to be closed, and were now in fact open) . In the end I admitted 7 patients (granted 1 of whom I rather skimped on the admission because he should be going home today) and was actually taking handover’s for patients while writing the admission on the previous one. I barely saw the patients I admitted, which thanks to the new SAP paperwork (Single assessment process) I didn’t have to worry about – why see patients when you can sit at the desk overwhelmed in notes?

    The ward they’d come from was in complete chaos too, the handover’s I got being minimal and the notes with the patients bare of anything useful, and myself and the other staff nurse on walked out at the end of the day saying ‘this is how mistakes happen and people die’. 3 staff nurses, 2 health care assistants and 30 patients? Many of whom with conditions that we’re not that experienced in dealing with…

    Still, what can I do? Just the best I can manage I guess.

  • Answerphones…

    I have 5 things to do this morning, well, 6 since one got split into two separate tasks by me forgetting to do part of it. Of these 2 require speaking to other people on a telephonic device. Both of these people appear to have answerphones. Answerphones which are on whenever I ring – my timing must suck. *whimpers*.

    And no one’s online to tolerate my whining. It’s no good at all really.

    I can’t concentrate on anything, I’m trying to organise extra work through NHS-P, who’s onsite person never returns my calls (seriously I’ve made about 10 and left messages most times and I *never* get called back), and I’m also trying to organise an ‘informal visit’ to St Fred’s Hospital for the Clinically Unwell where my interview is – made harder by the fact I’m working all the days between now and then.

    I had more to say, but it’s wandered off somewhere. Oh, yes, I may be able to do my bathroom rather cheaper than I thought – which is double-plus good really. Uh, yeah. ‘s all.