Category: Tumblr crossposts

tinierpurplefishes:

nickey79:

passionjuicespot:

thespacegoat:

zacksplosion:

gimmegrimmy:

thecityofpawnee:

nerdmodeactivated:

tea-in-the-tardis:

bakuraryou:

OK SO IN ENGLAND THIS IS WHAT A RUBBER IS

AND SOMEONE ON MY DASH JUST MENTIONED PUTTING A ‘RUBBER’ ON YOUR PENIS AND

I GOT REALLY REALLY CONFUSED

THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A RUBBER IN AUSTRALIA TOO. WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.

SAME WITH NEW ZEALAND.

We don’t have those in America because we don’t make mistakes.

THAT WAS ONE TIME

HE WAS ELECTED TWICE.

Loooooool

LMAO! the Bush gif tho

That mistake needed the American kind of rubber to correct.

solarbird:

bethylated-spirits:

oak23:

newwavenova:

tiffanarchy:

lady–liberty:

steviemcfly:

comedownstairsandsayhello:

lord-kitschener:

sidneyia:

asgardreid:

jean-luc-gohard:

catsallthewaydown:

lizdexia:

jean-luc-gohard:

• Free Speech Zones, which were a real thing and not a plot element in a particularly ham-handed dystopian novel.
• The phrase “hidey hole.”
• Watching a budget surplus become a massive deficit that was bigger than it even looked because the White House was just like, “Okay, we’ll just not put the wars on the books and just ask for more money for those every few months.”
• The sheer number of times Alberto Gonzalez said, “I don’t recall,” to Congress regarding war crimes and human rights violations.
• “…now watch this drive.”
• Mission Accomplished.
• “The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence,” “yellowcake uranium,” Condoleeza’s “mushroom clouds” fearmongering, and all the other bullshit we were fed to get into Iraq.
• The President of the United States said so many stupid things that there were one-a-day calendars consisting of an individual quote for each day of the year. They didn’t all have the exact same quotes.

“There are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

And then we went to war.

“Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms; creating or implanting embryos for experiments; creating human-animal hybrids; and buying, selling or patenting human embryos.” – George W. Bush, 2006 State of the Union

Okay, that’s the best one.

Bush watched that Batman Beyond splicing episode and had nightmares for a week

was it hidey-hole? i thought it was spider-hole.

Yeah, it was spider-hole

I think my favorite was how we un-ironically referred to a whole set of countries as the “Axis of Evil” as if that phrase gives us some kind of meaningful understanding of their geopolitical role and isn’t borrowed straight out of a mediocre made-for-TV superhero movie.

And then there was:

We literally got a terrorism forecast on the news every morning like it was pollen. So many of the things that happened, if they were in a dystopian novel, people would be like, “That’s way too goofy and ridiculous to actually happen in real life,” and yet they did.

THE LAST ONE’S REAL?

Yeah
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeland_Security_Advisory_System

Not only was the terror threat system real, but it was often raised and lowered based entirely on how panicked they wanted us to be. Famously they raised the level for no reason during the 2004 election.

Also, “Free Speech Zones” looked something like this:

It was literally a cage.

I genuinely forget that people, even within my own age group, has forgotten the Bush era since they were teenagers and below the voting age at the time, and so forgot how fucking horrifying it was.

two words:

FREEDOM FRIES

and it never, ever, once, went below yellow alert, and it went up right before any important vote or election.

And there were so many parodies.

It was fucking terrible.

solarbird:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Western Canadian Literature: “The prairie is cold and empty, like my marriage.”

Eastern Canadian Literature: “The sea is cold and empty, like my marriage.”

Cultural differences.

A few folks have commented that the preceding post is overly reductive, and I have to admit that I was perhaps a bit glib. Here’s an attempt at a more accurate summary, then.

British Columbia Literature: “The mountains are cold and empty, like – holy shit, a bear!”

Alberta Literature: “The prairie is cold and empty, like my attempts to reconnect with my heritage.”

Saskatchewan Literature: “The prairie is cold and empty, like my marriage.”

Manitoba Literature: “The prairie is cold and empty, like my relationship with my father.”

Ontario Literature: “The hills are cold and empty, like my faith in humanity.”

Quebec Literature: “The River is cold and empty, like my faith in God.”

Newfoundland Literature: “The sea is cold and empty, like my marriage.”

Nova Scotia Literature: “The sea is cold and empty, like my relationship with my son.”

Nunavut Literature: “The tundra is cold and empty, like the legacy of white colonialism.”

I think that about covers it.

holy shit, a bear!

THEY KNOW

reginazelenacoramills:

whittletheworld:

*Miranda Priestly voice*

Lesbian storyline ends in death? Groundbreaking.

“It was a narrative decision.”

tkingfisher:

portablemiah:

smittyv288:

Health care isn’t a human right, thank you for your time.

yeah smittyv288 you tell em! who do those dumbass disabled lower-class people think they are? you want your AIDS medication refilled but can’t afford basic health coverage? yeah, well, how about you stop having AIDS. health care isn’t a human right, you know. and your friend over there with cancer, tell that motherfucker he needs to quit complaining about his “immune deficiencies” and whining about how he “needs chemotherapy or he’ll die in two months”. if he’s so “terminally ill” and “unable to work” why doesn’t he just get a fucking job like the rest of us and pay for these incredibly expensive lifesaving treatments himself? people like him need to understand that they just don’t deserve to live.

This was totally covered in that one parable about the Samaritan Who Kicked The Guy In The Ditch And Told Him To Get A Job Already.

i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed:

myworldoflanguages:

useless-spain-facts:

This is a milestone of the Internet

Port O’ Rico