10th April 2002, 22:11.
Well, what can I say. I can’t say that I’m feeling whole huge bundles of better, but I want to say thanks to chiyo, and to the person who e-mailed me (although that person wasn’t, as far as I’m aware, reading this site – they were just e-mailing me about another topic).
I think I’ve managed to put the demons back away, even if it’s just for the night. It’s still better than having them roaming.
So thankyou.
—
Kate E
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8th April 2002, 17:46.
Didn’t I promise? So… here we are…
A real diary entry….
I’ve spent some of today watching the death of a tv channel, which was kinda
odd – we tried to get them to give us a
plug, but they didn’t, so Nuts to them.
All these presenters who, well, it was a shopping channel, so what they’re
going to go on to do I can’t really imagine. These presenters who were basically
jobless promoting their personal websites and taking the piss out of the
products they were selling – I guess after 4 years of selling mostly shite
there’s got to be a lot of sarcasm waiting to get out…
Anyway, it was a bit strange.
There was something else, oh yes, me being peeved because they’ve been
really annoying with the TV scheduling today. It’s not like there’s much
worth watching on TV (this doesn’t stop me lazily slobbing in front of it, but I
know that mostly what I’m watching is crap) but tonight they’ve put three
programs I want to watch on at once. Grr.
[Enterprise, ‘Fifth Gear’ and Junkyard Wars]
What else? Well we’ve been out postering? Did I mention that before…no,
apparently not. Well, I’ve mentioned it now – we’ve been around the uni area
distributing posters/flyers. Hopefully we’ll manage to get some interest. That’d
be good.
I’m still thinking about how to redo the regolith website. Already you’re
asking – Yes. I like it, but it doesn’t seem to be generating interest. Lots of
hits, but not so much in the way of interest. Although we’ve had a request for a
fairly big quote….
Anyway, so I’ve been having an interesting conversation on IRC – although
I’ll only put in the bits I’ve said:
[KateE] But then I decided when I transitioned that I’d do whatever the fuck I wanted and
sod anyone who says “girls don’t do that”.
[KateE] I spent long enough trying to conform to what people expected of me, now I just
do what I want.
[KateE] So I play with computers, and electronics, and motorbikes and cars….
[KateE] ….it’s not like they can come at me with a pickle jar and a staple gun.
[KateE] it only took me about 18 years to work out that however hard I tried I
was still me underneath.
Anyway, that’ll do.
—
Kate E
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7th April 2002, 23:28.
Okay, I promise the next one will be a real diary update, and not just
another pointless survey….
What do
people say behind your back? Find out @ digitalcharisma
—
Kate E
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3rd April 2002, 15:28.
Well, I guess I missed my chance to do the whole April fools diary entry. Not sure what I’d’ve put on it anyway. Sense of humour failure I guess…
So, a couple more of these tedious quiz things, and then into the main page.
First up it’s the What’s Your Fetish? test at Nollykin’s World
Fiction turns me on. I’m a Hentai freak!
So, that answers that one. Apparently.
Of course that leaves the all important question, what kind of duck am I? Well, I’m now in a position to answer that thanks to the What kind of duck are you test…. Which revealed that:
But one more question remains. One of the questions. What sexual position am I?
Well…
So, that’s all that over and done with. Bet you’re glad of that. Anyone got any more quizzes?
Anyway, I went to the endo today, which was a cause of much excitement. Well, okay, I was a bit tense. Wondering what he’d say, how my blood tests’d look, whether he felt that the medication I’m on is sensible, and if the doses are sensible.
And so on.
Well, it turned out to be a waste of time, to be quite honest. I wasn’t expecting that much, but he didn’t even bother to do or organise a blood test. So, I’ll have to sort that out. Indeed the topic didn’t even occur to him, at least, if it did he didn’t say anything about it.
I guess I’m just pissed off because, well, I wanted some confirmation that I’m on a decent regime, or that I’m not, but I didn’t get that. And, well, I made up this regime, and I don’t know if it’s sensible. I thought the estrogen doses were a bit high, but he didn’t seem to really have any idea if they were, and what they should be.
Jas has just given me a 1/24th scale Mini Cooper to race around :-)
Something’s wrong though, because it’s bigger than the BMW Mini Cooper 1/24th scale remote control cars atop the TV…
I have to note though that “Night dampness is harmful to interior mechansim”. And also, of course, “While thundering avoid playing outside”. I’ll be sure to remember those pearls of wisdom.
Oh, and, in bigger letters than anything else: Antenna should not be inserted into socket outlets.
Grr, this endo thing has really pissed me off, actually. I mean, showing some actual interest in me would have been good, and y’know, maybe letting me finish talking now and then.
*sigh*
What’s the point? That’s the question. I may as well make it up myself. It worked last time.
So, I did an update of the Techie section – bet that’s cheered you up. Now we’ve got a couple of new-old bits in there. I’m considering doing a site update log, but I can’t really be arsed. Again, another thing which hangs around waiting for the major re-write which has all the diary entries in a nice searchable database….
Anyone fancy doing that for me? Thought not… :-)
I’ll get around to it one day. I think though, now, I’m going to have a bath and be annoyed up there…
Grr, I’m still wanting the next chapter in Tuck.
—
Kate E
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31/03/02, 11:54
Films lost to the vagueries of VHS:
Making Mr Right
Casual Sex?
The Smallest Show on Earth
The Pope Must Die
Dr Strangelove
Ben Elton’s Stark
Time Bandits
Edward Scissorhands
Dune
She Devil
The Man In The White Suit
Passport To Pimlico
Little Shop of Horrors
Alan Bleasdale – Self-Catering
Earth Girls are Easy
White Goods
Alan Bleasdale – Pleasure
High Spirits
The Battle of the Sexes
Two Way Stretch
Blue Steel
The Ladykillers
Gorky Park
The Running, Jumping and Standing Still Film
The Case of the Mukkinese Battle Horn.
Some Girls
Heavens above
Up the Creek
Only Two Can Play
The Mouse That Roared
Batteries Not Included
Monte Carlo or Bust
The Lavender Hill Mob
Eskimo Day
Rear Window
I Love a Man in Uniform
Mannequin
Bugs Bunny & Road Runner – The Movie
Alan Bleasdale – Requiem Apache
Sneakers
Withnail & I
Drop Dead Fred
Carlton-Browne of the F.O.
Her Alibi
Logans Run
Wilt
Love on a branchline
Some of these are still watchable, but some have failed completely. This is in some cases due to the fact that I couldn’t afford decent videotape when I was younger (Mmm, yum, International Brand, Oh look, it’s an Astor tape….). And to be fair some of these tapes are over 10 years old.
But as you can see, quite a lot of them aren’t available on DVD. I’ve actually spent some time tracking down some others on DVD – to replace failing videotape. Malcolm was one of them….
Only on release in Australia that one….
But early sellers stuff – and ‘not very popular stuff (Wilt for example) is very unlikely to come out on DVD….so I’ll have to wait and then capture it off tv…..not that it’s exactly shown often.
Those that are on DVD, I guess I’d have bought eventually – but it’s annoying that the videos have packed up….
16:38
Wow, I’ve got an original AcornSoft Aviator poster…..
—
Kate E
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30/03/02, 22:42
So I’m at my parents…hence the iPAQ entry – listening to my ancient Eagle amplifier….and some old tapes.
I’ve actually had a fairly productive day (the iPAQ suggested “failed” – is it trying to say something?) – I’ve fitted the radio-cassette, the volt-meter and the clock into Rebecca. What we discover is this: the windscreen wipers use a staggering amount of power. Switching on the radio, the headlamps (on main beam) and the interior fan is fine; we can still charge the battery. Add the wipers and things go rather rapidly downhill. Ah well, at some point I’ll get an alternator fitted.
It’s odd lying here, listening to this stuff which I used to listen to a lot a while back. Strange to hear it all again (Pulp: Intro: O.V.: #Oh yeah, she’s going away). Brings back some memories. Funny thing – on top of my tv is an old-ish picture of me. And I looked at it, and I thought “that looks like my brother”. I actually quite like this picture – I guess because to some extent I find relating me then to me now quite hard. It feels a lot like a different life.
But I guess the pain of some of my memories proves that it’s not a separate life really. I’m waaay to tired to expand on this properly.
(Pulp: Intro: Sheffield, Sex City)
There’s also my university picture. I wonder how many of those people I’ll see again (not close friends – people I just know (knew) off my course). Actually, I wonder how many of my close friends I’ll see again – what with always being broke.
So – do I try and do bike courier work?
Anyway – my parents commented on how much more stable / less moody I am these days. I….I think I am.
However – I’ve put on weight. How do I know? Because I got my jeans dirty earlier – an so was scrabbling through the clothes I’ve left here – and I don’t fit into them. Not only that, but stuff which was way too big for me before is now too small. I guess I’d just got so used to being crap at digesting food that my eating habits have got out of hand. As has my lack of exercise. So it’s time to do something about that.
And how are we liking the new comment feature? I still feel increadibly lazy for letting / getting Amy to write that.
What else? Well, Ellen Hayes ‘Tucker’ story continues to keep me hooked. I wish my writing was anywhere near as good. The only problem with it is I’m now desperate to read the next installment (/chapter). Gah!
Hrumph, the bath I had out here has really dried my skin….
I think it’s time for me to do my dilation and head bedwards…(well, tbh I’m already in bed…oh the wonders of portable computer power…!).
Notice the cool date? 30032002.
23:54
I hate sleeping alone.
23:55
I remember buying Intro. After Leeds festival. So long ago.
—
Kate E
Comments:
amy at Wed Apr 3 14:21:58 2002 said:
!!!LINK!!! << that worked eh? And don’t feel lazy. Besides, I enjoyed making it. It was fun. And it needs some more work I think
Peter at Wed Apr 3 18:46:40 2002 said:
Sleeping alone sucks :/
Kate E at Wed Apr 3 18:49:44 2002 said:
Well, I fixed the !!!Link!!! thing, I just totally forgot about it when I transfered the entries from my iPAQ. Never mind…
And, I still feel guilty, I should have put the effort in myself, but I’m a dreadfully lazy cow, and yes. Mmm. So thankyou for writing it :-)
KateE at Wed Apr 3 19:03:48 2002 said:
I fixed the !!!Link!!! :-)
Totally forgot about that when I copied the pages over from the iPAQ….
And still, *hugs* for writing the comment code.
Kate E at Wed Apr 3 19:13:08 2002 said:
Okay, I’m an idiot. All like to congratulate me for that? Please? Go on….I’m not going to edit out the proof of my idiocy, I’m going to leave it there as a permanent reminder to myself not to be so bloody stupid.
amy at Thu Apr 4 23:36:47 2002 said:
You’re not stupid. At all. Na ah. And I think I’ll update the script to strip html and add >br<(hmm.. did I get the brakets the right way around?) where it finds linebreaks. And once more, you’re not stupid.
amy at Thu Apr 4 23:37:31 2002 said:
You’re not stupid. At all. Na ah. And I think I’ll update the script to strip html and add >br<(hmm.. did I get the brakets the right way around?) where it finds linebreaks. And once more, you’re not stupid.
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24th March 2002, 1941.
So, I found this link on Amy’s site, for the which Angelina are you test….
And this here is the response…
Are You?
Hrm, now you see I want a comments section, but Amy was too lazy (joke, joke! don’t kill me ;-) to write me some comment-code stuff (what’s that you say? Why should amy write it? Aren’t you just being incredibly lazy? Yes, I am. And amy moaned about it’s absence so…well, that’s my excuse) – so I can’t see all of you disagreeing with it.
What’s that?
You don’t disagree with it?
I can’t hear you….damn my laziness!
Anyway, so, Complicated person? Me? I think you’re thinking of someone else there….
Trouble letting others in. Okay, that I’ll accept. On the other hand once someone’s been let in, they’re kind of allowed free range, which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending…
“You focus most of your energy on your work” – well, it depends what my work is. If it’s something I enjoy, then sure, yes I do. If it a job I hate then it’ll get as little of my energy as I can give it.
You keep your uniform on all the time? I don’t have a uniform, although that seems to disappoint some people. And no, I don’t look like Habib, and no, I won’t wear a police-woman’s outfit. No. so :-P
—
Kate E
21st March 2002, 20:02
Good time eh?
So. People have been bullying me into writing another entry – I mean, it’s not like people are short on stuff to read on here…I mean how many of you can remember the earliest entries? No… you can’t can you. So you could re-read them couldn’t you…. :-P
Anyway, I’ve been meaning to do a new entry for a while.
22nd March 2002, 13:29
Okay, I got interrupted for a few minutes.
But I’m actually feeling much better than I have been for a while, I’ve managed to shove my little demons back into their box for a bit. Actually, to be honest they keep leaping out and attacking me without any warning.
Failing my driving test seems t have been the nudge my brain needed to be able to start attacking me again. Which was nice. I’d forgotten what it was like – but anyway, it seems ot have settled down again now. At least, so long as I don’t think about my driving test too much. Or any of my other miriad of failings.
So, we’ll see if we can’t keep the misery in a box for the time being.
Anyway, so I’ve been using the RiscPC for the last few days, I’d forgotten how much I liked RISC OS – anyway, it’s been mostly okay, it was very crashy the first few days but it seems to have settled back down again. It’s still no-where near as good as it used to be, reliability wise, but then I guess I’ve been pushing it harder. That and I’ve discovered that OmniClients NFS protocol stuff is crappy, which means that I can’t listen to streamed MP3s on this machine, despite it being quite definately fast enough.
Grr. We’ve got a copy (original) of LanMan98 around here, apparently, which should fix the problem….but finding it’s obviously the issue.
So…
Yes, I failed my bike test. Unfortunately for me I had a car examiner, who clearly had no fucking idea about bikes; and I quote: “I have ridden a bike you know”. Yeah, uh hu.
*sigh*
So, what’s going on with regolith? – well, we’re currently gathering sales figures, well, hoping to. Next week is A day – our advert’ll appear in next weeks NME, so we’ll be sorting out prices today.
But I’ve got to take a temp job, because well, I’m broke. I’ve got bills to pay and no money, so….I shall be trundling up the road to ManPower later today – I’m trying to remember how this stuff worked – do I need a CV? I guess I better print one anyway…
Just in case.
So….Oh, and I might drop off the film today….so the pictures of the ‘zed should be up fairly soon.
—
Kate E
15th March 2002, 16:15
Well, I’m encoding my way through my CD Collection. I’d say that I’m at R-T,
but I’ve realised that somewhere along the way the U-Z section went missing – I
think I’ve managed to confuse the order in which the boxes go.
So, I’ve been trying to sell the cavalier – hopefully it’ll sell at the end
of the week. I’ve also been being evil to Kellaway Motorcycles – informing the companies
who they are dealers for about their history. We’ll see if we can’t stop them
being Sym dealers, and Warrior dealers.
Perhaps I shouldn’t be so evil, but Tony Underhill deserves whatever he gets,
he could have killed Jasmine or I. And probably several hundred other people. I
hate to think how many people suddenly discovered their rebuilt brake-calipers
didn’t work anymore because of those brake-seals.
I’ll get bored of chasing them again soon I expect.
So, I had one of those “I’d like to keep this moment forever” moments this
morning – when Jasmine rolled over and snuggled me – and we just lay there
snuggling. It was just so quiet and [snip, okay, I’ve got to go and design an
advert for our shop]
—
Kate E
11th March 2002, 12:41
So, no one’s been filling in the survey on the Regolith site – anyone got any
ideas why? We’ve tweaked it a bit – but….hrm. Anyway, I hope someone fills it
in soon.
So, j’s sat over there reading older diary entries, which is kinda odd – I
guess when I started writing this I didn’t really imagine anyone’d actually be
interested in reading it – it’s not like I have a particularly compelling
writing style, or I’m particularly good at it.
Nor do I have a wildly exciting life – I have my friends, partners, bike, car
and job – I don’t travel the world, although I’d like to, I don’t build rockets,
I don’t really do anything as such – just meander through my life – which
has it’s ups and downs – as obviously do I, but really, it’s not that
interesting. Is it?
So – I’ve just remembered that Jenny rang last week while I was about to go
out and I promised to ring her back. I forgot about it until now – which is
bloody stupid of me.
Bugger.
Hrm, I really ought to sort out this site and remove some of the stuff I just
transfered across without thinking about it. Still, I don’t want to lose it
entirely.
Anyway, I had a bit of a bad night last night.
[Went to bed at this point]
11-03-2002, 15:00
So, we were discussing IQ’s and once we’d started I couldn’t stop thinking
about how much I’d lost – well, how much my abilities had gone down. I mean, I
used to be good at this stuff, judging by the tales my dad tells, I used to be
really bright. Now, on a good day, I’m probably average. I just don’t seem to be
able to pick stuff up – I read this stuff and it’s like hitting my head against
an impeneterable barrier of stupidity.
It’s painful. I stare and stare at books where I know that when I was 15, I
could easily grasp the stuff they’re talking about – but now I just
can’t. It’s deeply upsetting – I mean, you expect to loose something as
you get older, but this, it’s just insane.
And I don’t know what to do about it, if anything can be done.
I can remember fighting so hard with stuff at university, and if I fought
hard enough eventually it would come, I could understand things – but it was
odd, it wasn’t like a gradual dawning, it would be “no, no, no, no, yes
complete understanding”. It’d just not go in for ages and then I’d read it and
it would make perfect sense.
But now, well. It’s different. I never get past the just-not-going-in stage.
It’s like I’m reading the words without having any understanding of what they
mean.
*sigh*
I don’t really know what to do about it. Lauren calmed me down, and
eventually I got to sleep – but…*sigh*.
Anyway, onto more cheery topics, I’ve updated Rebecca’s page, and I’ll be updating Naidenka’s later, although I’ve not got the photos of the rebuild
back yet. Okay, I’ve not taken them to the developers yet. Well, when I’ve done
them I’ll do it. I’ve also got an idea for another poster.
I’ve got to fill time while waiting for an estate agent to ring back….Oh,
anyone got 330k ukp they fancy giving me? Or even just, I dunno, 150k? No? Sure?
Nuts…seen the perfect place for us to live and run the business, but it’s 330k
which is a tad out of our pricerange.
—
Kate E
