11th March 2002, 12:41
So, no one’s been filling in the survey on the Regolith site – anyone got any
ideas why? We’ve tweaked it a bit – but….hrm. Anyway, I hope someone fills it
in soon.
So, j’s sat over there reading older diary entries, which is kinda odd – I
guess when I started writing this I didn’t really imagine anyone’d actually be
interested in reading it – it’s not like I have a particularly compelling
writing style, or I’m particularly good at it.
Nor do I have a wildly exciting life – I have my friends, partners, bike, car
and job – I don’t travel the world, although I’d like to, I don’t build rockets,
I don’t really do anything as such – just meander through my life – which
has it’s ups and downs – as obviously do I, but really, it’s not that
interesting. Is it?
So – I’ve just remembered that Jenny rang last week while I was about to go
out and I promised to ring her back. I forgot about it until now – which is
bloody stupid of me.
Bugger.
Hrm, I really ought to sort out this site and remove some of the stuff I just
transfered across without thinking about it. Still, I don’t want to lose it
entirely.
Anyway, I had a bit of a bad night last night.
[Went to bed at this point]
11-03-2002, 15:00
So, we were discussing IQ’s and once we’d started I couldn’t stop thinking
about how much I’d lost – well, how much my abilities had gone down. I mean, I
used to be good at this stuff, judging by the tales my dad tells, I used to be
really bright. Now, on a good day, I’m probably average. I just don’t seem to be
able to pick stuff up – I read this stuff and it’s like hitting my head against
an impeneterable barrier of stupidity.
It’s painful. I stare and stare at books where I know that when I was 15, I
could easily grasp the stuff they’re talking about – but now I just
can’t. It’s deeply upsetting – I mean, you expect to loose something as
you get older, but this, it’s just insane.
And I don’t know what to do about it, if anything can be done.
I can remember fighting so hard with stuff at university, and if I fought
hard enough eventually it would come, I could understand things – but it was
odd, it wasn’t like a gradual dawning, it would be “no, no, no, no, yes
complete understanding”. It’d just not go in for ages and then I’d read it and
it would make perfect sense.
But now, well. It’s different. I never get past the just-not-going-in stage.
It’s like I’m reading the words without having any understanding of what they
mean.
*sigh*
I don’t really know what to do about it. Lauren calmed me down, and
eventually I got to sleep – but…*sigh*.
Anyway, onto more cheery topics, I’ve updated Rebecca’s page, and I’ll be updating Naidenka’s later, although I’ve not got the photos of the rebuild
back yet. Okay, I’ve not taken them to the developers yet. Well, when I’ve done
them I’ll do it. I’ve also got an idea for another poster.
I’ve got to fill time while waiting for an estate agent to ring back….Oh,
anyone got 330k ukp they fancy giving me? Or even just, I dunno, 150k? No? Sure?
Nuts…seen the perfect place for us to live and run the business, but it’s 330k
which is a tad out of our pricerange.
—
Kate E