Category: General

So, I’ve been watching TV this evening…at least, after I’d put my clothes away (*mutters at *). The Scrapheap Mega Challenge, that was cool, but not what I was going to ramble about. I had to agree with Janet Street Porter. Do you know how utterly wrong that is? Do you realise the pain and just sheer awfulness of that statement?

(more…)

Maxtor 60 Gig drive; the one which has started to get novelty bad clusters everywhere:

Y2CX4W8E ATA 6Y060L0220411 Out of warranty 08/22/2005

And the 40 Gig I replaced it with is making some very odd not-well disk noises. I doubt that’s in warranty either.

I’m having trouble finding motivation today.

I know I’ve got stuff I need to do.

I know I’ve got stuff I should do.

I know I should care.

But I just don’t feel like it.

It’s just one of those days. I guess maybe because I had a really good day yesterday, or thinking about Alaska, or looking through all those AK photos. Or just because it’s about time.

I’m missing Trey. I’m missing Trey a lot, and I’m missing her in the sense of knowing that she’s my ex and that hurts. And I want her back. And I can’t have her. Today is sucking. I feel so sad, knowing… that she doesn’t love me anymore… and yeah. Hurting.

I don’t really want sympathy or cuddles, just want to be left to deal with the loss of my relationship. She asked me a bunch of hard questions on e-mail a few days ago, and I replied, and I’ve had nothing back. I think maybe I’m more fucked up than she realised? Or maybe I just didn’t give her the answers she needed to hear. Either way, I feel sucky.

So, I meant to write an entry about what I did the last few days in Alaska before I headed back to the UK. But mostly, the dealing with being back and Trey splitting up with me has been occupying my mind; that and trying to get to all the appointments I should have been at.

So, yeah, here’s an unexciting post for me and my flakey memory.

Incidentally, I have the worlds weirdest memory. I say it’s useless, but it’s not, it’s just bizzare. I remember emotions and I can remember facts, but events somehow seem to be unfixable in my brain. Ask me what I did or where I was I won’t know; ask me where I parked the car in an unfamiliar town and I’ll walk directly to it. Ask me what drugs I gave a patient, and I’ll remember. Ask me what story you told me yesterday or what game we played, I’ll have no frackin’ clue.

(more…)

So, SP2 is downloading. I’ve got my mail back up and working (lost one, but hey); I’ve got my bookmarks reimported into Firefox. I’ve got a newer version of Firefox coming down. I’m really very tired. But I want to get some of this installing done, because… I’m going away for Xmas week and I won’t be able to do it then.

Yeah.

News on today some other time. And I’ve *still* got to write up my last few days in ‘laska (which I’m still missing, if anyone wants to buy me tickets to go there again).

Now, I should be working, but I’ve got an appt in an hour, so I’m not. I’m time-killing.

I’ve been looking through the shots of Alaska; and just at random, here’s one I didn’t think’d come out, and I just hit ‘I’m feeling lucky’ in Picassa. It’s gone from being essentially plain black with a green glow from the light to this:

I’m pretty impressed. I’m going to sort out a gallery of photos at some point, but just looking through them at the moment… there’s quite a lot that are *so* blurry I need to delete them. Space is now at a premium on my PC and keeping photos so blurry that I can’t really look at them is a bit pointless.

So, I’ve been trying to remember since yesterday… where did I put all the reward cards and other crap (most importantly my student ID card) from my purse (wallet)? Gack.

I know I put them ‘somewhere safe’. I remember thinking ‘I probably shouldn’t leave all this lying around anywhere too obvious’, I have no idea why, I mean they’re bloody reward cards!. Anyway, I thought that. And so I didn’t. And now I’ve no frigging clue where I put the stuff. No idea at all.

To coin a phrase: Bollocks.