me: how many words have i written
is it a million
is it TWO million
word counter: 409 words
me: LIES
Category: General
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When somebody says that “a man likes to feel like a man,” all I hear is “A man likes to feel superior to you and it’s your job to make him believe it.”
Someone said this to me once, that a man needs to feel like a man, I replied “well I’m not stopping him” and had to watch this fragile creature try to explain to me that my strong personality could demean men.
Like, if I have to pretend you are a strong man and cater to that then clearly you’re not that strong dude.
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Can we please talk about how our history teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as proof of the presence of man two million years ago
pleas,e for the love of God read the whole letter, there are tears streamign down my face rn
Can we please talk about how your history teacher has done this sort of thing enough times that he has his own specimen shelf in the Smithsonian
“yours in science” tho
“B. Clams don’t have teeth” is the part where I lost it.
The letter says:
“Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled “211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull.” We have gien this specimen a careful and detailed examination and regret to inform you that we disagree with you theory that it represents ‘conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.’ Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the ‘Malibu Barbie’. It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it’s modern origin:
- The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
- The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
- The dentition patters evident on the ‘skull’ is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the ‘ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams’ you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
- A) The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
- Clams don’t have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it’s normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating’s notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly , we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation’s Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name ‘Australopithecus spiff-arino.’ Speaking personally, I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to or nation’s capital that you proposed in you last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the ‘trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix’ that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities”
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(sorry if there are misspellings or wrong wordings. this was long and i was reading it off my phone)
“I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.“
We give a lot of credit to whoever wrote this, but we can say with certainty that we haven’t been given any Barbie doll heads for our paleoanthropology department. (@amhistorymuseum? does have plenty of Barbies, all with bodies too.)
But we have been offered some interesting things over the years. A few examples: a corn flake in the shape of Illinois, a two-legged dog, and the world’s longest beard.
Yours in science,
The Smithsonian
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Benedict Cumberbatch has publicly stated that he thinks people viewing protagonists in media like Sherlock Holmes as autistic is ‘dangerous’ & ‘lazy’ because it ‘offers false hope’ that autistic people could be ‘brilliant’ or heroic…
so yeah i’m gonna give a pass on his superhero movie, because he doesn’t think people like me deserve heroes, or that we could ever be them.
Hey, how about we add a source (X).
/throwing in quotes from the source above/
‘Many are drawing parallels between Turing and Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes, suggesting he’s specializing in characters who exist somewhere on the autism spectrum. But Cumberbatch wants them to cut out that nonsense.
’“Though Sherlock is an immediate comparison, they’re so different. Sherlock is a sociopathic show-off, and Alan was anything but that,” Cumberbatch tells Metro. “I don’t think he was on the spectrum. I think a lot of people are very lazy with that.”
‘It’s a suggestion Cumberbatch has heard raised again and again, and he’s frankly had enough of it. “I think it’s a really dangerous thing to toy with that,” he says. “People talk about me doing that quite a lot and that being a good thing for people who are on the spectrum, which is great. But I don’t go into a job going, ‘Is this autism? Is this Asperger’s? Is this some other form of slight learning difficulty or disability?’ I’m very wary of that, because I’ve met people with those conditions. It’s a real struggle all the time. Then these people pop up in my work and they’re sort of brilliant, and they on some levels almost offer false hope for the people who are going through the reality of it.”’
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Fuck Benedict Cumbatch
So. Add “excruciatingly ableist” to Bandersnatch’s list of bullshit along with “casually racist, unabashedly classist, generally petulant, and monumentally overrated.” And people wonder why I don’t even wanna look at him.
Don’t forget he defended the straightwashing in the Turing movie, too. :P
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Judge ruling means Urban Outfitters could pay Navajo Nation millions
Philadelphia-based retailer Urban Outfitters could potentially have to pay millions of dollars for using the word “Navajo” in its products.
A federal judge in Arizona ruled last week that the Navajo Nation did not delay the filing of its trademark infringement lawsuit against Urban Outfitters – a tactic the retail giant claimed had occurred since the tribe first took legal action in 2012, or about 11 years after the company began using “Navajo” to describe its products, according to the Albuquerque Journal.
The tribe has not named a specific dollar amount that it seeks in damages, however it could soar into the millions if a court rules in their favor.
On some claims, the tribe wants all the profits generated from the Navajo-themed sales. On others, it wants $1,000 per day per item, or three times the profit generated by marketing and retail of products using the name. Lindsay DeMoss, one of a handful of attorneys listed for Urban Outfitters, declined to comment. The company had said in court documents that granting the tribe a monetary windfall for a situation it created with unexplained silence “would be inequitable and unjust.”
The Navajo Nation has spent nearly four years in a legal battle with Urban Outfitters for alleged trademark infringement, violations of the Indian Arts and Crafts Act, and other allegations.
Bankrupt them
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If you didn’t get the hint, I really, really hate MCU. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, but what Marvel has done is way too personal for me to be quiet. The one thing I will force upon you with all my heart, is my pure hatred of the Doctor Strange movie. I’m begging you, please boycott Doctor Strange.
What Marvel is doing with this film is inexcusable. I’m Tibetan, and I grew up in America as a child of refugees. My father was a fan of Marvel comics as a child, and one of his favorite stories was Doctor Strange’s, because of his connection to our homeland, Tibet. The Ancient One was a high Tibetan lama who taught Doctor Strange the art of magic. You might think Marvel’s only crime is whitewashing him, but its a lot worse then that. tl;dr Marvel blatantly turned the Ancient One into a white woman, as well as changed Doctor Strange’s original setting of Tibet to Nepal, in order to avoid any involvement with Tibet’s current politics (aka oppression) with Communist China.
The reason my parents are refugees is because of the Chinese genocide of Tibetans. Tibet is a country occupied by China, and is one of the most oppressed countries in the world. You probably don’t know much about it because China’s position as a global superpower as well as the government’s complete control of media and news. There is no freedom of speech in all of China, therefore national censorship is extremely common and no one who isn’t involved really knows anything. China pretends that all Tibetans are happy and they really do not like anyone even mentioning the Tibet situation, especially outsiders.
Marvel knows this, one of their main markets is their viewers in China. China has banned a lot of foreign films for long periods of time because of even slight implications of Tibetan oppression (ex: the Avatar the Last Airbender movie). Doctor Strange could get banned if they included Tibet, meaning millions lost. Why bother risking loosing money from China when you can just whitewash everything to cover it up? This is Marvel’s direct statement that they care more about money then human rights, and I’m honestly not surprised. This has always happened, and it will happen again. Literally no one gives a fuck about Tibetans, I’ve seen it happen all my life. Westerners and the Chinese government alike want to hide our oppression, hide our culture until it makes them money, and hide our millions of deaths and losses. If you do happen to be one of the few who do care, please, please, do not support this film and boycott Doctor Strange.
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when dr. strange flops:
Why do y’all want dr strange to flop? What I miss?
it’s racist! more at 11
Hold up, how??? I really need to know because I want to go see this movie but I’m not spending my money to go see it if it’s racist. Can someone explain?
1) b*nedict c*mberbatch
2) it’s a story heavily influenced by asian culture and there ain’t a damn asian in this shitshow but they are being used as part of the backdrop
3) the costumes are racist, like shyamalan’s the last airbender level racist
4) an explicitly tibetan character being played by a white english actress
For @ztrek808:
- Another Day, Another White Guy at Marvel: Benedict Cumberbatch to play Dr. Strange
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Another Day, Another Whitewash: Tilda Swinton in Talks with Marvel to Play Asian Character in Dr. Strange
- Not Your Asian Ninja: How the Marvel Cinematic Universe Keeps Failing Asian-Americans
- Hollywood’s Strange Erasure of Asian Characters
These help sum up some of Marvel’s overall problems with Asian characters and help outline how Dr. Strange contributes to racist stereotypes about East Asian peoples, cultural appropriation, and whitewashing. So far, in MCU the only decent Asian representation is on Agents of SHIELD where Daisy Johnson (a major character in the comics) isn’t acknowledged in the larger universe. Other than her and Melinda, Marvel’s Asian representation is truly reprehensible.
Do not pay money to see this. Do not.
in honor of the shitterific trailer being released today, let’s bring back the receipts :)
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women just keep on ruining science fiction
Those shoes look sensible, even if they have a heel.
