Category: General

solarbird:

soyeahso:

sweet-sweet-escape:

prettyfarts:

equagga:

bogleech:

penguinhatgirl:

aberrantkenosis:

archatlas:

Really Big Coin Skrekkøgle

This is our Really Big Coin. It is big because it makes other things look small when photographed next to it. Actually, it is a 20:1 replica of the EUR 50-cent, you see it being milled out here. We needed to do quite a bit of sanding, lacquering and smudging to obtain the desired look and some climbing to get into required shooting position (you need to get up real high to take good pictures). The result is a short series of photographs, attempting to visually scale down real-sized objects.

Images and text via

what the fuck

this fucked up my brain

oh god what

my mind even interpreted all those real objects as looking plasticy and less detailed like “wow those are nice models but pretty obviously just models”

^^ same! then I went back and noticed they’d used focal length to selectively blur things, craftily making it look even more like a macro photograph

evil

AHHHHHHHH

Mind f**k

I’m pretty sure they also used tilt shift to heighten the effect.

Actually all Borrowers, fucking with us BECAUSE THEY CAN

solarbird:

xekstrin:

masayume85:

laughterbynight:

buzzfeed:

adulthoodisokay:

adulthoodisokay:

aimee-b-loved:

bijoux-et-mineraux:

reclusiveandelusive:

tsreckoah:

naughtylittledragon:

nassadii:

tsreckoah:

thepioden:

vulcanology-geology:

mollisaurus:

lizaleigh:

zdravomilla:

brambledboneyards:

xekstrin:

bijoux-et-mineraux:

Polished Malachite Stalactite – Copper Crescent, Congo

*looks around*

Is

Is anyone gonna say it

malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite

@lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.

…sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.”

Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?

oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?

It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.

I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.

So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.

Oh my god guys it’s poisonous

It is super poisonous

There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more

Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock

Try this one instead. 

malachite literally explodes in water does it not?

I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium?

Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker

This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock

I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on  being you.

I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock.

I’m looking into it.

UPDATE:

Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention of the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did some research and weighed in on the question: “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?”

The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.”

When I first saw this post I NEVER thought it would go this far. 

I think this is hands down my favorite “this is what Tumblr is” post to date.

look mom I’m famous

you have done well, my child

shadesofmauve:

caladri:

shadesofmauve:

caladri:

findchaos:

biodiverseed:

lazyevaluationranch:

8/3 Today we picked the white apples. They have skins the color of old yellowed bones, and translucent flesh so that when you slice them open you can see the seeds through the flesh. Bone-and-glass apples, parchment apples, ghost apples.

They bruise easily, a purplish brown rather too similar to a bruise on human skin. If you pick one up, there’s a good chance the shapes of your fingertips will be marked on it the next day. I want to try writing words on them by pressing on them with a pencil eraser sometime.

They smell very faintly of perfume, maybe roses. They do not smell like apples. Apple maggots never infest them (probably because their growing time is too short to support the apple
maggot fly life cycle. It’ll be another month or two before the
rest of our apples are ripe).

They’re lovely. They are also disgusting. Mealy and soft, with no flavor whatsoever. They’re not sweet. They’re not even sour. It’s like a mouth full of wet cotton ball. I’m pretty sure I spit it out the first time I tried one.

I hope you all understand how weird this is: even the goats are reluctant to eat them. They’ll eat an apple or two, but then they lose interest (except in keeping the sheep from eating any, of course).

I have no idea why a previous resident planted the ghost-apple tree. If they have any flavor at all, only the restless dead can taste it.

I have to say, I’ve seen, researched, and planted a lot of apples in my time, but I have never seen anything like this.

My best guess is that your tree is a chance seedling with a genetic mutation, given that it is both leucistic/albinoid and early-ripening. I’d hazard a guess it’s also polyploid.

lazyevaluationranch: If you’re able to save some scion wood next Autumn, I’d be very interested in grafting a branch or two of this to one of my trees: not for the utility of it, so much as for the novelty and breeding possibilities.

A little added info: It could be a variety of Potter County White Transparent. From the heritage apple site: 

White Transparent, Ghost or Spirit Apple, or Apples of Saint Peter. The Russian Petrovka group are all thin-skinned pale apples that ripen near the feast of Saint Peter, and are offered to Widows and orphans (first fruits) or to the graves of the recent dead of the winter, representing God’s Mercy after trial. Apple associated with Baba Yaga, and with foretelling the past or the future. This Transparent is from Coudersport, Pennsylvania, likely brought as seed with Russian immigrants.

I hate this apple tree so much, and its fandom even more.

I’m so, so, so happy your haunted ghost apple tree of the dead has a fandom.

An international fandom, interested in spreading it’s probably-evil mysteries to the world, and apparently inflicting it’s wet-cotton-ball qualities on the mouths of poor starving widows and orphans who probably didn’t deserve it.

You don’t even know.  I think we have more than 100 asks from people who want us to give them seeds (foolish!) or cuttings (demanding!)  Some winter, we’re going to take like 10 cuttings and auction them off to these people.  If the number of unsolicited offers is any indication of what it’d be like on the open market, we’d be able to retire.

(I love anyone who follows @lazyevaluationranch.  Some of the twists and turns I’ve seen the posts about the ghost apples take, though, in the wilds of aesthetic Tumblr.  Ugh.)

LOL! I hadn’t even thought of that wrinkle. Do I dare ask what they call it? Soft crap apple aesthetic?

(I don’t actually understand the whole adding ‘soft’ in front of these things, honestly. I kind of see it as a cross between ‘blurry’ and ‘noncommittal’, which I don’t think is intended).

I think you should do that auction. You could then support the goats in the manner to which they no doubt desire to become accustomed.