Baby / No Baby update

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When you read lesbian baby-making blogs online, you notice something odd. A lot of them just end. They peter our, no explanation. “We’re trying again!” they announce, and then they’re gone. Just not updated anymore.

And you know why. Because people started those blogs with a dream, and then the dream is shattered, and the blog stops. So I’m kinda glad this isn’t a baby making blog, because at least for the time being it’d be over.

We found out yesterday that we’re not eligible for the egg-sharing IVF programme, for a variety of reasons. That puts IVF firmly out of our grasp thanks to the local NHS’s delightfully discriminatory ‘you must try 10 times before we give you a go free’ policy (which for heterosexual couples just means ten months of sex, but for us means somewhere around £14,000 spending money, whilst at the same time potentially losing income due to having to be off work.). We also don’t really have the cash to throw at another 10-15% probability IUI cycle. We could, possibly, scrape it together, but the stress involved would probably lower the chances of it working fairly dramatically.

And so, the baby update is that we don’t have one. And have no idea where to go from here on that front. We’ve seen what adopting older kids is like, and beyond the fact that we want to raise a child from baby-ness, we also both agree we could not do what our friends have done. They are awesome, and their kids are awesome too, but the whole thing has been and is very challenging for them – and I don’t… we don’t want that experience.

Which leaves us here.


Kate's a human mostly built out of spite and overcoming transphobia-racism-and-other-bullshit. Although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, it's all good.