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Accounts all finally balanced, and now I can do the tax part!


Note to readers: If you want your US taxes to be quick and easy, do not

– rent rooms in your house
– occasionally operate a minuscule business

Or if you do, don’t report it. FFS. I am an upstanding near-socialist who is happy to pay taxes, but the US tax code is so complex that the process of doing so is ridiculous.

Also, a note to the IRS: Renting portions of the property you live in is a really common thing, now. Please acknowledge that somewhere – even just a FAQ – because the mental gymnastics of trying to be as honest as possible while recording my rentable room as a separate property that accounts for 20% of house expenses is… tiring. That, and not tax evasion, are why most people who do this don’t report – and why I wish I hadn’t. 

I don’t want to talk to the IRS. The last time I did I spent two hours on hold just trying to return someone else’s $2000. The time before that I was a teen accused of tax fraud because a data entry person made a mistake (and THIS is why we e-file, kids!).

I’m going to sacrifice a chicken and chant the Ward To Keep Away the IRS: I do not have enough money to be worth your notice. I do not have enough money to be worth your notice.

Between you and Kathryn I’m finding myself slightly unnerved by this part of moving to the USA. I mean, anything that gives me warm fuzzies about filling in the UK tax forms (which are, it must be said, positively a delight compared to the US ones I’ve seen)… well, let’s just say it’s not good.

Mind you, I still remember the one and only company tax return I did for my abortive music studio. Crying, a severe (near migraneous) headache, and days of playing balance the figures, and multiple phonecalls to the tax office to which their answer was, invariably, ‘We don’t know’… and all to end at ‘we owe you nothing, you owe us nothing’…