Dramatis Personae
Lady Susanna Erskine – The Lady of the manor
Lord Jeremy Erskine – The Lord of the manor
Jones – The butler
Toaster – A broken toaster
Scene: Dining room in traditional English manor house. Table laid for breakfast. Lady of manor is at one end, Lord at the other, a fine breakfast spread laid out in front of each. The lady of the manor has picked up a slice of burned toast.
Lady Erskine “Jeremy! This toast is dreadful! We simply must dispose of the toaster and get a new one. We can’t go on like this, what will the Cameron’s say when they come to visit?”
Lord Erskine “But my dear, you know that I just gave that stirring speech to parliament about recycling, if those guttersnipes in the press find out that I’ve thrown away a toaster and bought a new one, well… one can imagine the fuss and bother they’d create”
Lord and Lady Erskine continue eating for a moment, quietly, contemplating the burned toast.
Lady Erskine “No, it won’t do. Jones! Jones! Come here immediately”
Jones “Yes ma’am”
Lady Erskine “Please inform the cook that we have to recycle the toaster. Bring it up here and see if we can’t find another use for the benighted thing”
Jones exits
Scene: Library. Lady Erskine is sat on a chaise, reading. Lord Erskine is sat in a high back chair, smoking a pipe. Lady Erskine sets down her book on a side table.
Lady Erskine: “Jeremy, how is that recycled toaster doing?”
[Camera pulls back to reveal Lord Erskine’s feet resting on the back of an older man acting as a footstool]
Lord Erskine: “Oh, he’s doing a fine job! He’s just the right height for me to pop my feet up on whilst I read. An excellent idea of yours to recycle!”
—
Ends
Yes, I know, I suck at writing dialogue / scripts. What can I say, it’s not something I’m called on to do much. But the idea lodged in my head, for some inexplicable reason.
