This is hard…

The constant rehashing of my father’s death, his illness, and the time he was ill before the cancer was discovered. It’s really fucking hard. It’s impossible to be here more than a few hours without at least one discussion of his death. I understand she needs to I understand that but it doesn’t make it any easier for me.

I can seek distance, I can separate myself and sit there being sympathetic, but as she discusses the more harrowing stuff about his death I just want it to stop. Stop and…. stop.

I do wonder if this might have been a bit much, coming for so long before xmas.