Alone

I’m feeling alone.

John and Jakob (and Michelle and Andrew) have been here all day today. We also met the woman who’ll be conducting the ceremony for my dad’s funeral and had a long chat with her. But they’ve gone now and that alone lonelyness has come back.

Washing over me… great waves of sadness.

I’m okay as long as I fill the space.

I have the greatest friends, but they’ve all gone out tonight, and I have no other phone numbers… My old university friends… I’ve not spoken to them for so long… I do wish I was better at keeping in touch.

My partner, she’s gone out with my friends.

So tonight I’m alone. And curling up under a rock, somewhere.