29 May 2000, 22:40.15

Comments Off on 29 May 2000, 22:40.15

Well, what have I been up to? Well, I decided – against the advice of the many to take my car 200 miles (and yes, as expected there were some short breaks where my car decided to opt for not moving instead of the 70mph I was previously aiming for).

Anyway, yes, so let’s say what happened. Well, I decided (unilaterally) to go and see Jenny up in the frozen North; in an attempt to improve my chances of getting there in a good mood I fitted my new fuel pump, which by a pure fluke actually fitted. Yes, amazingly despite the 1 in 3 chance of it being the right one – it was. My luck must be improving. However on the downside this pump does seem to be rather more effective at sucking crap onto the fuel filter which is now almost totally blocked. :-(

Anyway, despite the unscheduled stops – some of which were a little hair rasing – me and the car made it to Jenny’s place, where I had a really good time – it being nice to sit and chat, (and see the tigger movie *vbg*). Erm, yes. So, anyway yes, just spent loads of time chatting and wandering about the park and me watching the rain – as it ran into the car…..

The unfortunate thing about visiting people is it reminds me just how social I am at heart. I’m not that good at emotions/communicating, and I haven’t managed to get myself that much better at it because I’m stuck in the middle of no-where and all my friends are a minimum of 45 minutes away. Which doesn’s sound like far – until you think you want to just go to the pub with someone, or just have a quiet evening in. It all involves planning. And it’s lousy. And add to that the fact that I don’t feel at home in my parents house anyway – I feel like I’m a visitor. They were here and decorated when I wasn’t here. Every time I come back something’s changed.

So I’m feeling displaced. I’m desparate for somewhere to live, but I don’t know that I can hack living alone. Not that it matters because I’ve got to find a new job first, and at my current rate of sucess I’ll be well and truely buggered – since I can’t stay in my current job once my body starts to change significantly.

I’m beginning to wonder (given my current mood) if the lack of estrogen when I went away (3 days w/o – ‘cos I’m a stupid idiot and forgot to pack it) has caused some mild depression….still I’ve taken today’s tablet, well, actually, I’ve taken this evenings tablet (which is a mere 50% of the daily dose – because being hormones you don’t just pop the ones you missed. You missed em, they’re missed….)

Anyway. I’m off to bed – it’s an early start tomorrow – at least I’m not in “male mode” – pure andro when the girls aren’t there….




Kate's allegedly a human (although increasingly right-wing bigots would say otherwise). She's definitely not a vampire, despite what some other people claim. She's also mostly built out of spite and overcoming oppositional-sexism, racism, and other random bullshit. So she's either a human or a lizard in disguise sent to destroy all of humanity. Either way, she's here to reassure that it's all fine.