21 Feb 2000, 23:32.03.
Oh bugger, up, down, does yo-yo mean anything to anyone?
Let’s start with the bad news….my computer (the PC) still has a moral obejection to connecting…..but now it’s pretty much limited to objecting to FreeUK…..which is not good – esp. as they’re my ISP.
Pre upload update: Typically, it’s just started working – just after I sent a message saying it still wasn’t. Hmmm. I’ve not changed anything….have they?
My cunning plan late in 1999, which ran along the lines of “oh, oh, if I buy two cartrigdes now at this discounted price I’ll save myself money later…” suddenly doesn’t seem quite so cunning.
Why? Because the time came to change the cartridge today. Just in time for my complaint (this is the most sarcastic, pissed off letter I’ve ever written….), yes, so changed the cartrigde…..and guess what, after cursing “Ink Again” (who up till now have served me well) for several minutes a vague thought occured. Hmmmm…check packageing….use before Oct 99. Only 4 months out of date……bugger.
Yes, then there’s things which aren’t tangible.
I had a fantastic weekend, with the SO, as myself. indeed I passed a lot of the time, which served to boost my confidence no end.
Then I came back. I took of my clothes, my nail polish, my eye shadow….and went back to trying to pass as male. It’s hard…..and then there’s hormones. I desparately want to start ‘mones, but I’m going to have to use the NHS. That means waiting. Probably a long, long, time.
What’s so bad about that? Wel…if I’d have started ’em before I was 16 then you’d probably not be able to tell me from a GG, but if you start them after you’re 25 then their effect is greatly reduced.
And right now I feel just as far away from those elusive tablets as I ever have. And that makes me feel awful. Then, to top it off, I’ll have to wait until the NHS is in a reasonable shape for GRS. Someone said (with referance to private treatment) “if you want something enough you’ll find the money”. Well, that’s not true for me. If I had the money I’d use it, but I simply don’t – I have a job which will just support me, a car and a house. And that’s it. It won’t do fancy things like new computers (which is why one hd in the PC is courtesy of my workplace, and has errors all over it). I don’t do new cars, and I don’t do 2 weeks in New York. I do eat, drive, work, sleep.
Any more than that is classed as luxuary – to be done ocassionally. Getting the hormones is goung to stretch my budget…..so. Well. That’s it really….sorry to be in such a downer, but hey! What do you expect when you read these pages? Humour? value? Interest? Good grief…..y’must all be nuts.
LOL
Kate…