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  • Somehow, MRAs got this idea that feminism is about killing men and taking their place or something. That just goes to show why feminism has to exist, because somehow men’s rights activists took a movement about women and made it about them.

    But here’s the thing. The terrible shit that happens to men? We pretty much do all of it to ourselves.

    First of all, there’s the idea of toxic masculinity. We raise boys to believe that they have to be tough. “boys don’t cry,” we try and tell them. And because of this, they feel pressured to be tough and to feel nothing, so they’re emotionally stunted and filled with anger.

    Second of all, we throw out dangerous ideas that grant them more freedom to be shitty to each other. “boys will be boys,” we say as we write off bad and violent behavior.

    Let’s look at that mixture. We’re telling young boys that they aren’t free to express their emotions in the natural way, so they end up bottling up everything. Then, we grant them the freedom to be physically and verbally aggressive to other people.

    That’s a dangerous mixture.

    Even beyond that, MRAs are so quick to shout “things are bad for men too” at so many things, then when presented with those ideas, they write them off as invalid.

    Whenever we talk about the statistics of women who are raped and how it’s a problem and a crime of aggression, men are so quick to say things like “Men get raped too!”

    But if you look on Facebook, as soon as someone posts an article about some 35 year old teacher who raped a 17 year old boy, it’ll literally only be the men who say things like “heh, that boy is so lucky” or “wish I had a teacher like that!”

    do you know what it means to claim that men are also raped, and then immediately joke about how lucky it is for a man to be raped by a woman?

    It means that you don’t give a fuck about other men. It means that you don’t give a fuck about other human beings. It means that literally the only reason that you said it, without caring about the men who are hurt in those crimes, is because you want to take attention away from the VASTLY higher number of women who are raped and make it about you.

    The most terrible thing to men? IS MEN” by @mattjosephdiaz

    (via feministingforchange?)

  • funoftheday:

    looks like she needs to let the soup cool down before she gets burned. Oh too late!

  • tinierpurplefishes:

    Their idea of MLK, that is. When shit like this got going, MLK was perfectly fine with self-defense.

  • rubyfruitjumble:

    me standing in a rainstorm: What the fuck is this…… communist water… with free handouts from the sky how will anyone have the incentive to work

  • elaxisfae:

    open-plan-infinity:

    “67-year-old Tennessee woman was arrested and charged with aggravated assault after drawing her gun on a black man authorities said posed no threat to her.

    “I have never been so afraid of anything in my whole life I don’t think,” Sherry McLain said of the encounter in a Walmart parking lot last weekend. “This guy is the bad guy and I’m the one in handcuffs walking away.”

    Security footage shows 52-year-old James Crutchfield walking past McLain and turning toward her, but not behaving toward her in a threatening manner.

    Crutchfield told police that he had asked McLain if she had a cigarette lighter since he had just bought cigarettes in the store, only for her to brandish her weapon

    McLain has insisted that Crutchfield approached her even after she drew her handgun and told him to stop. But the footage actually shows him backing away from her with his hands up before approaching another woman, Diane Miller, and telling her to call the police before running into the store. 

    Crutchfield never got within 10 feet of McLain during the encounter.

    McLain, who has a legal permit for the gun, faced a $15,000 bond and was also charged with reckless endangerment”

    This is disgusting but with the racial climate nowadays I’m just glad that he’s still alive.

  • We are filling our house with boxes

    …and I am beginning to have a minor freakout about the sudden reality dawning that we’re actually going to move country. That I’ll have to start making friendships with new people, something I notoriously suck at. And trying to maintain old friendships over a 4,766 mile distance.

    Gah.

    This post brought to you by our solicitor (well, conveyancer) having some optimism today about exchange of contracts.

  • bitterpunktrash:

    bloodthreadsaltglassandtears:

    mariethelionessscorpion:

    talking-isnt-helping:

    kiriamaya:

    Actually, as a trans woman, I do wish I could get periods.

    Because that would mean I had a functioning uterus and could give birth.

    And it really bothers me that that’s not a possibility.

    So every time I see one of those “PERIODS ARE A UNIQUELY FEMALE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND AND YOU SHOULD BE GLAD YOU DON’T GET THEM” posts, it not only triggers my dysphoria, but it reminds me of how so many cis women revoke our identities when it’s convenient for them.

    I’m not trying to tell anyone not to talk about their bodies; just… be aware of how you’re framing this stuff, okay? Please?

    if you’re on estrogen, you get the symptoms, I’m sure.
    Nausea? Pms. Or the flu.
    Dizziness? Pms. Or the flu.
    Migraines? Pms. Or a hormonal imbalance or migraine condition.

    And no. You do not fucking want the sensation of someone:
    A) slowly gutting you with a butter knife
    B) kicking you repeatedly with a steel-toe boot
    C) launching a basketball repeatedly at your stomach
    D) trying to claw their way out of you
    E) any combo of these and breathing fire INTO YOUR UTERUS

    So don’t even.

    Word. No disrespect to my trans sisters, but it is a pain that I’m jealous of y’all for not having. You guys get to be all fierce and shit 24/7….but when my time of the month comes I turn into a potato…a bitchy irritable potato

    You guys get to live a normal lifespan and have jobs and stuff. I’m not sure they really break even.

    Also there is pretty much zero context in which trans women being presented as “fierce” is empowering or even complimentary? Like we’re inherently perceived as predatory… This idea that trans women are “fierce” even in that complimentary “strong woman” way is pretty much not something we get to access or make anything of, except in very constrained contexts. It’s a way for you to feel nice and polite about your transmisogyny, and that’s pretty much it. 

    Also the second post is kind of unreal here. Like, here’s a thought: try listening to what OP is actually saying? And consider the possibility that you’re not a fucking telepath and that maybe trans women can be concretely aware that having a uterus isn’t fun and games and magically popping out babies with no mess or fuss. Like just give us some basic credit for our awareness of medical and experiential realities that are widely discussed by the cis women and CAFAB folks in our lives (or in general). It’s kind of hard to miss that there are aspects of it that aren’t fun and that for some unlucky people it’s positively excruciating.

    What OP is saying is literally just “stop treating me like a naive gullible airhead when I say I’d *deal* with that reality for the possibility of having kids because it means that much to me, but my body won’t let me make that tradeoff so I’m stuck feeling terrible about something and every time I say so along come trans men and cis women to treat me like shit and rub it in.” 

    And right on cue you folks show up. 

    *golf clap*

    Using the word ‘fierce’ for trans women is a fucking dog whistle. If you think trans women are just really faggy men, then just fucking say it. Like, that combined with referring to us as ‘guys’ is either 1) super lazy or 2) malevolent, so fix yourself.

    Beyond that, there’s another complicating factor: trans women are consistently pushed to have various irreversible and sterilizing surgeries (both legally and socially), but we are routinely kept from having children through other means by economic and transmisogynist systems.

    Do you honestly think for a fucking moment that an adoption agency is going to give a child to a trans woman (esp. if she isn’t straight/white/passable)? And in vitro fertilization is completely economically impossible for almost all trans women because we are typically poorer than cis women (even if we do bank our gametes, which is another long term cost for us that most of us can’t make).

    So I can see for a lot of trans women that the choice would be between “have periods” and “Have children in any way ever,” and for a lot of women that’s a fair trade off. Like, a cis woman could try to get a hysterectomy if she didn’t want to have periods, whereas we never have the option to have children that isn’t “Do it before you trans” and then you have people telling you not to transition because you have kids.

    Soooooo cis women: stop telling trans women what we do or don’t want.