Mostly lemon based

Category: House

  • Contrary to my own expectations

    After a solid hour of lying, eyes embedded in various bits of pillow, I declared that my eyes were better enough and that the weather had cooled enough for me to endure the outside world; or at least, if not, to achieve something inside.

    Fortunately for me, clouds were scudding across the sky, and the sun hid behind them; so I headed out to Halfords to find me a new bike battery (the one on the bike is quite definitely not well – to be fair it’s well up to replacement, I make it at least 4 years old, and it’s been flat (for long periods) more times than I can count) and, well, I’d rather not spend days relaxing waiting for the RAC/AA. So, yeah, that and some spray paint to spray the welding on Brick.

    So off I toddled, and I came back with, amazingly, a bike battery and some spray paint.

    I’m not sure when playing with hideous chemicals became un-fun, but frankly, filling the battery was less enjoyable than I care to recount, sulphuric acid as I recall being quite unpleasant. At any rate, it was filled, charged, and attached to the bike. The bike now has working brake, indicator, and other lights, a new brake disk (which I can’t bed in, because without an MOT…I can’t get tax…and I can’t ride it anywhere to bed the new disk/pads in. Poot).

    Uh, and the car? The car has been spray painted. Quickly, not particularly tidily, and y’know what, I’m going to ring that garage and get them to sort out the oil pressure switch and if it needs it, pump. And y’know what else? It was still bloody hot out there.

    At any rate, in between doing these jobs I also nipped to B&Q and got the junction box, because I wanted to extract the wiring from the bathroom-to-be (currently still a spare bedroom :-) ), this involved removing the socket from that room.

    I now have some plastering to do.

    And I remain unimpressed with the standard of the ‘professional’ rewire. Although at least, the guy who did it has daubed on the many cables that go into the junction box where they go (I need to correct one of them now!). The new junction box is to maintain the ring main, without the socket. I may be able to dispose of it when I’ve got more floor up; I’m hoping so; but at the moment it’s a neat solution.

    I’ve also switched the light switch in the spare bedroom from a wall-switch to a ceiling mounted pull-cord. At some point soon it’ll become the bathroom (I think, when there’s plumbing in there); and so before that I’d like to get all the wiring in… I need some hazard zone 1 lighting though. While I was in B&Q I did have a bit of a stand by the air-conditioners. I am weak, but not quite that weak. Wait until I’m working nights and have to sleep in the heat of the day…. then I’ll be weak.

    Anyway, I also got a concrete specific drill bit, so that pipe should be out of that damn wall quicker than you can say ‘uh, get out the damn wall you evil pipe’. I also got some grey pipe; so it will ‘match’ the other soil pipe. Although I *think* I needed some solvent too, because it’s a solvent joint at the soil-pipe end. But hey, that’s a job for another day. I do need to work out how to remove the globe-taps though, I presume they’re threaded – and that the doojit that attaches to the lead pipe is separate? Anyhow.

    Yeah, can you tell I’m not sleeping well at the moment? With the vague wandery posts? Right. So, what I did do though was work out that the pipes, the copper ones, for the heating, they are not quite as long as would be convenient. So I will probably cut them in a slightly odd place, so I can avoid having two joins next to each other. Uh, and I raised a lot of floorboards. Well, not ‘a lot’ perhaps. But several. There’s now just two between me and all the floor that needs to come up being up. That’s the positive. The negative is that I need to take up the floor I laid so I can put the heating pipes in; that’s what comes of improvising something to do. What I should do is plan. Or more accurately, write down my plan.

    So, tomorrow sees the bike back for a second MOT; and hopefully a pass. And then the keys back to the rental place, and then the Kate for a Doctor’s appointment.

    I’m sure you’re all thrilled by this information… :)

  • More house progress

    Really, this is largely for my benefit, I guess so I feel more like I’m achieving stuff. And today has been a day filled with achievement. When you say to someone, ‘I’m going to move a cast iron bath’ the first thought that comes into your mind is probably not a thoroughly pleasant day; but actually, that’s what I’ve had. I mean, the actual getting it up the stairs bit, that was completely exhausting (and I’ve now got to walk across town to collect the Viva, now it’s ready; expect me to eat more donuts and drink more coffee).

    Anyway, I think that most people wouldn’t think of it as being pleasant, because they don’t have the awesome friends I do, who cheerfully drove 80 odd miles, drove me to collect the van, then sat in a steeenking hot van (with their ever patient dog Pepper) as we flew round the motorway and down to Sussex, lug a bath into the van, drive back and then lift said bath up the stairs and then, without even pausing for a coffee or a cup of Chai headed back the 80 miles they’d come. Stars is what they are; shiny shiny stars. My friends are, in point of fact, made of awesome.

    So, anyhow, having got down there no trouble (apart from the van I’d hired having a hideous, hideous crunch come from the gearbox every time I changed into fourth), collected the bath (which is indeed in remarkably good condition, bar the one foot which needs welding together), and I then asked our generous bath retailer if there was a local drinking establishment which he could recommend. We then partook of very fine ploughman’s lunches (apart from the point where I attempted to eat a slab of butter under the impression it was cheese; I wasn’t alone, ‘meriKate had the slab of butter in her sandwich ready for her to munch on. Yes, Nikki, you get to feel smug; although much amusement was had at ‘meriKate’s discovery of Pickled Onions. Let us just say, she is not a fan)… Anyway having relaxed and feeling slightly less like we were on a van-trip; we piled back into the van and headed home.

    Astonishingly, this also went in a hitch-free way; getting the bath *into the house* wasn’t terribly easy. Not hard per-se, but Rebecca needed to be moved (sans battery) and Cherry moved, and then the bath had to come in on it’s side. Let’s just say, it’s not “light’. Having got it in, crushing only Nikki’s foot. We then paused, and after a bit of a failed attempt, ‘meriKate suggested a fine one-step/vertical/not dying method which meant that we then twirled *heh* it through 90 degrees again, and up it went, resting on the back foot (the not broken one) on each and every step. I’m glad I opted to stop with the decorating on the stairs because… I’ve got some wall to paint! I think I’ll leave it ’til last, actually; when all the upstairs rooms are done then I’ll finish the stairs. The 90 degree corner at the top of the stairs was, amazingly, turned without injury. And finally into the bathroom, enamel intact, feet still attached (well, the three not broken ones), and this is the product of all that hard work:

    Although it looks grubby and tatty, the enamel is astonishingly good, and the outside will respond well to a quick sand followed by a coat of the chosen paint. It’s still got it’s lead pipework, and I’d never realised quite how thick lead water pipes are… I’d always assumed they were sort of copper pipe sized… but no.

    Yeah, so I bet you’re all thrilled by that shot :-)

    Anyhow, the bath has a rather nice little crown on it, and some numbers.

    I’m intrigued to know what the number 10E means, in the triangle? Anyone got any idea? I’m faintly tempted to pick out the crown with white when it’s done. Sort of the opposite of all the other logos in the room…

    But hey. That’s the way my brain works, really. I think, in all probability it’d look best just one shade of blue :-)

    So, just so you know, here’s where we’re at (bathroom wise) – because I’m sure you’re all dying to know:

    The pipe bends a bit in the middle at the moment, that’s just a factor of it not being fixed in place yet; frustratingly I’ve had real difficulty getting through the outer wall, the pebbledash & concrete mauled my masonry bits, so I’m going to have to go to B&Q and see if I can obtain something…harder. I also can’t find my small chisel, which is terribly annoying because I know I have one, worse than that, I know I’ve seen it somewhere recently. But as to where? That’s anyone’s guess. Anyhow…this is the room as a whole

    And now I really *do* have to go and collect Brick.

  • Holes and stuff

    So, it’s actually been a shockingly productive day. I’ve spent the time after this morning’s dismal start (the GP opens at 0800, not 0830, which explains why there were no appointments. Thankfully, today’s not been so hot and my hayfever less soul destroying therefore) doing variously the bike, the car, and the bathroom.

    The bike – switching the brake disk for the new one, once I’d got myself the right tool (a T40 star drive, for anyone who cares) was actually incredibly easy. All the screws undid, the disk came off (it was about 3mm thick, the min-think rating on the side says 3.5mm… ooops); and the new disk went on. Despite the dead battery I was actually considering ringing and booking an MOT, but a strange sensation0 came over me. I think we’ll call it ‘common sense’. I checked, and the brake-light switch (which is still waiting for replacement, ‘cos Burwin failed to send one, they said they’ll send one immediately, but then it took them almost a week and a half to send the first order; I may stop ordering from them) has stopped working. I took it apart, but no amount of coaxing could persuade it back into life. So we wait for the new switch to arrive. I have, however, noticed that the alloy’s started to crack up around the bottom – well away from the lever or the cylinder, but it means I’ll look out for a s/h replacement instead of getting it helicoiled, I think. Annoyingly, that’s got all new seals in it, the bloody thing).

    So, having checked that the bike still starts (using a spare battery), I moved onto the second task of the day. The car.

    Let’s just say the accursed thing makes fun of me. I check voltages, they’re wrong, I go to check them again, they’re right, the car starts. Why! Why for have you forsaken me oh continuous and non-intermittent faults! The oil pressure light, that went out, no problems. Although the VivaOC reckon it’s just blocked with crud – so I’ll hopefully whip that out on Friday and see. But yes, the ignition issue continues to baffle me. I’m tempted to change the solenoid just, well, because. Because I suspect it of being an evil turncoat who’s duplicitous nature allows it to pretend that it works while I’m looking at it, but when I’m not allows it to snunk off to the corner of electrical hell (as provided by Lucas, Prince of Darkness) and…well… not work.

    Anyhow, I then removed the passenger seat and alternately went ‘oh god’ and ‘uh, maybe okay…’ and then ‘oh god’ as I stared at the floor. On Saturday the car is going to be attacked by man-with-welder, and I hope we should have less of a rust issue. Actually, apart from the sill (which appears to have been attacked by a monkey with filler (oh god)) and the inner sill just by the rear seats (oh god, rust) and the huge-gaping-hole-in-the-floor (oh dear god, no, and no, I shouldn’t have poked it); it actually looks surprisingly intact. Oh, and the hole where the seat mounting, uh, disintegrated it. Yes.

    Still…. *breathes*.

    Anyhow, having decided that my day was complete on the VIva and bike fronts, I moved inside. And upstairs, to the bathroom…

    No, that’s the bedroom; I realise it looks increasingly like a store room for a bizzare props department crossed with an open plan toilet, but hey. I just thought I’d share the hell of my house at the moment.

    No, this is the bathroom:

    Yes, insane, isn’t it? The floor’s got to be down by Saturday, really. Which is a little stress inducing. Although I saw the boards I need, if I go with chip-board, and I plan to, because I’ve checked and apparently they’re fine with Cast Iron baths, and I now know which kind I need for the bathroom. So yay for me :-)

    My life is just one excitement after another, eh?

    But there was one amazingly positive thing which happened today:

    That, I think you’ll find, is the soil pipe. All connected and ready. Granted, it’s sloping the wrong way at the moment, but that’s just because it’s missing some supports. I’ll cut the wood and pop them in tomorrow :-)

    Raaa, ra, ra.

    (And in non dull news, I spoke to Kathryn on the phone yesterday, which was made of awesome. I love the internet, which allows me to talk to Kathryn despite her being miles and miles away for the not-muchness on the cost front. Ra).

  • Feeling slightly aggrieved at the universe

    So, there I was laying in bed this morning, endeavouring not to rub my eyes and thinking evil thoughts about pollen, and so on. And I planned out my day. It went thus:

    – Change brake disk, brake pads, brake light lens and switch on Cherry. Book MOT.
    – Get quote for oil pump on Viva from friend-recommended garage (because the oil light is persistant in it’s desire to stay on).
    – Hire van for Saturday’s jaunt.
    – Foof with kitchen, and unload the car.
    – Repack hubs with grease, if I can find a jack safe to do such a task with (getting the viva onto axle stands using the pint-pump jack would be…fun). Sort out ignition wiring. Maybe strip the viva’s interior in preparation for the weldathon.
    That was my basic list. I got outside and the power of 12,000 suns burned my skin from my body as I dared to step outside. Well…okay, it was a bit too hot to do car stuff, but, I thought, I could do the bike. But NO! Because impressively I’ve lost my set of star-drive adaptors. Cue cursing about where in frack all my tools have gone (I am getting so close to the day when I flip out and buy a huge-f-off-tool-box on wheels).

    So, I sighed. I then checked through the box of bits and… no brake light switch. ARGH!

    Okay, I think. We’ll get a quote for the Viva. 3 hours later they are still ringing around trying to find someone who has a pump. Apparently the club have pumps. I am about to join…

    So I hire a van (hurrah!)

    I foof with the kitchen and unload the car; incidentally combi boilers are fracking *heavy*.

    And no, I don’t have a suitable jack. Since they’re going to have the engine out and in bits I reckon I may as well ask them to do the service anyhow. But I think to myself – hang on a minute, I could, were I clever, start to sort out the plumbing. Which, it’s true, I could. Except that I can’t find my plumber’s wrench. I have no idea where *that’s* gone. I’ve had it since I moved, but where it’s landed I don’t know. I’m beginning to get a little pissy whenever I can’t find tools (Which is pretty much every time I do a job now). It’s the quick tidy I did for the party that really screwed up my tool finding ability.

    Oh, and my washing line snapped and deposited my laundry; thankfully on the path and not on the weed-killer sprayed side of the grass….

    I’m still feeling remarkably chipper though, I put that down to the fact that the shower and the shower base have arrived. Now I just need to fit them :-)

  • Running to stay still

    So I went out this morning and collected together the bits I need to fit the toilet; including some random new tools. I got cistern internals, I got an isolation valve, and lots of bits and bobs. 100 quid later and I set to on various jobs. Only it didn’t entirely go smoothly. It turns out it’s harder to get a flush pipe for a high level cistern in chrome than I imagined (it’s an order only part, apparently). So that’s ordered. No where had brackets to support the cistern (well, not nice ones), so I’ll have to buy them (off ebay, possibly).
    The cistern is partially assembled, but for a reason which escapes me at the moment I had to not fit the float valve – I really can’t recall why, but that’s okay. And then I set to on the soil pipe. The soil pipe was meant to be a few hours work. Connector on, measure, cut, and add length of pipe, and then the right angle; then a few bits of floorboard work, and lo, the toilet would have been fitted.

    Instead first up I found that my builders have run the soil pipe so close to the last joist that a connector wouldn’t go on. Cue an hour of attacking the joist (which is not in the most convenient location) to reach the stage when I could actually get the connector in place. Only I couldn’t get it on to the pipe. I’d noticed that the builders spent a lot of time swearing while doing the soil pipe, I’m now aware as to why. It’s fucking impossible.

    After a solid hour, lube, washing up liquid and heating the pipe all having been tried I had a break, returning to it and applying, essentially, brute force…lead to it finally going on.

    So I cut the next section, raised more floorboards – by now I’ve decided that I’m going to have to ditch the original floorboards and have chipboard flooring – but I’m going to have to put a floor down; this has become apparent because the floorboards are too knackered to leave bare.

    Anyhow I go to fit the pipe and…it won’t go on. Brute force, washing up liquid, everything. I do keep managing to open up the clip-together-seal at the end. But it’s not going on, and then the bloody thing went in, but with the clip together seal apart.

    Now, I tried to reassemble the clip together seal with it there, but bear in mind that you can’t reach one side of the clip, because… it’s next to the joist. So I start trying to pull apart the connection. Only the wrong side of it is moving. I tried everything to get the side I wanted to come out but no. No. the fucking thing came apart from the side I’d just spent 1.5 hours getting on. Thus undoing all the work I’d done today, pretty much. And, in the process of getting it off the section of soil pipe that I’d cut? I broke the fucking connector.

    So now I need a new connector and I get to start all over again.

    I have never dealt with soil pipes, I’ve only ever done the clean side of plumbing, and plastic little sink-and-bath waste pipes. In future, I’m happy for it to stay that way.

  • Sleep is in my veins

    So, today we might be a little disjointed, like a broken child’s doll my sentences may be rather limp and floppy, and bits may fall off unexpectedly.

    I am, in fact, quite tired. For quite big values of quite. In fact, extraordinary values of ‘quite’. I would be in bed, but I’m bidding on a shower mixer/thing, and want to know if I’ve won, because then I’ll transfer all the money in the one go – see I had to pay the builder off the credit card today, because the money to pay him is there, but it’s in my savings account.

    Because… (insert drum roll)… they finished.

    The bathroom floor joists are doubled, the soil pipe is in, and the bathroom is ready to be populated with plumbing and exciting things like a bath (need to collect that next week), a sink (trying to organise collection), a shower (bits ordered, hoping to win the auction for the mixer / rigid upright and foo-foo-spray-bit), a toilet (got) and cistern (got, needs innards)… Oh, and millions upon millions of tiles. The ceiling needs painting and populating with ‘the right kind of switch’ and some bathroom safe lights. Of course, changes to the electrics occur while it’s still a bedroom.

    A bedroom with a pull-cord light switch.

    Shush now.

    So tomorrow I shall go buy some bits and bobs. I wish they’d not put the floor-boards back down actually. I meant to tell them not to, or at least to leave some of ’em loose, but they’d done most of it yesterday and then there didn’t seem much point in saying “don’t” today. I was too busy being tired.

    On the plus side I had someone look at the car today, he reckons he can repair the floor and that the damage isn’t as bad as it looks – it’s certainly still solid but there’s a big crunchy hole which I don’t recall being there before… so I’m glad I’m getting that repaired. I think it should just be exhaust and then MOT time. If I can get another year’s ticket on said VIva I shall be mightily happy. I also need to sort out that starting issue, because I look dodgy as fuck running a jumplead under the bonnet to start the car and also because it’s tedious. I want to be able to get in my car and start it, not have to pee about for five minutes to connect things up. It’s also an accident waiting to happen – the jump lead has to run out the front of the engine bay, over the top of the fan. One day, if I’m too tired, it could lead to a rather unpleasant shorted wire incident.

    Shall we revisit the dull list?

    – Have a new floor (or at least a doubly strong floor) in her bathroom
    – Collect a (bathroom) sink, a boiler and the oven (you have *no* idea how much I’ve missed having an oven. Really. No. Idea.)
    – Receive via postymagic a new hob
    – Commence work on the upstairs plumbing (I guess having the very end of the soil pipe in the bedroom doesn’t count? No.)
    – Win a filing cabinet, bath and a period radiator on e-bay
    – Collect said bath and filing cabinet, and then later said radiator.
    – Ideally reach a stage where I can get the gas-engineer in to fit the boiler, although I’m suspecting that’s beyond unlikely.
    And then there’s the ‘doing’ list:
    – Fix and service the Viva
    – Get bike back on road
    – Get welding sorted for Viva Modified: Take Viva to gain new floor
    – Lay path in garden
    – Plant garden
    – Read about emergency nursing
    – Buy and collect mom’s electric car (I hope)
    – Complete my CRB form, the Occy Health form – Done: as a result I now need to go to the hospital and hand in the CRB form
    – Visit a clinic *and* the GP
    I’d also like to see friends.

    And now added: I need to sleep some :-)

    Oh, and do laundry.

    Definately, progress though.

  • In case you thought I’d forgotten.

    I promised dull house pics, and here, without further ado – are some dull house pics:

    The bathroom is proceeding according to the plans: the builders having removed the floor with astonishing rapidity are now working towards the point where they can put it back:

    One thing that this has revealed (apart from more, what appears to be inactive woodworm) is that, well, a professional electrician is worth his weight in faecal matter…

    And I thought *my* wiring was untidy. That is a hideous, hideous mess. At least my junction boxes are fixed to things. And what worries me is that that junction box appears to contain both the ring-main and the lighting circuit. Or I think it does. At least, the circuit, well, it’s… oh anyhow. That disaster of a box is going to have to be examined.

    And also, when he rewired, he clearly didn’t feel it was worth going to the effort of removing the old wiring:

    That’s 1940s or 50s, rubber insulated wiring. The rubber’s completely perished, when you move it it just cracks and then sheds like a moulting rabbit; but it (thankfully) doesn’t appear to be live. I shall endeavour to remove some of it :-)

    At any rate, the time is coming when I need to put the new bathroom in, which means ordering it :-)

    Woot.

    Oh, and found beneath the floorboards? A bit of 60s (?) packaging. Doesn’t beat the 1940’s Aviator cigarette packed my dad found in my parent’s house, but still :-)

    Flickr Set for the bigger versions

  • As the world prepares to sleep

    Another couple of nights. Just two this time, although with the extremely silly need to drive to Manchester the day after the second one (don’t worry – plan is to come home, sleep and then go in the afternoon). Nights mean that, yet again I’m swinging my body clock around by 12 hours.

    It’s slightly harder to do this this time, ‘cos the builders were indeed here. Rather briefly; apparently he’s at college tonight (I have to ask him what he’s doing there), and his tooth became loose and painful (it was noticably wobbly) and he went off to the dentist earlier…

    So, in fact, they were here from 1030 til, maybe 3. And then at around 1730-1800 to drop off the wood. More unexciting photos of my floor being absent to follow, I’m sure.

    Anyhow, without too much trauma I’ve filled in the CRB form, tomorrow (all being well) I shall head to occupational health – and then in the name of trying to do as many things as possible tomorrow I’ll be mailing off my Oc Health reply and taking in the CRB form asap.

    4 weeks sounds a long time, but in reality it’s not a long time to get a CRB check done and contracts in and signed…

    Especially when you’re working nights, and one of the weeks includes a bank holiday.

    And in other news, my mum and I are off to view an Enfield on Sunday. Well, assuming the bloke agrees to us turning up on Sunday – he certainly seemed happy with such a suggestion. The filing cabinet’s fallen off my list of desired objects (I didn’t bid in the end)  – this is because it shot up by over 100 quid – with 2 hours still left in the auction. Since they’ve been known to go for around 20 and I was only thinking of bidding 30ish, well. Yeah.

    Was a nice one though – all old wood. I’m starting to entertain the concept of attempting to de-oil the metal one I used to have in the garage. It’s neat, if not beautiful. Anyway, I should go and make some sort of food type substance for me to take to work.

  • Random thoughs of a lass on a cofa

    So, it’s been four weeks since my bin was emptied. I realised that today. I’ve finally managed to fill my outside bin to the point I need it emptied… by putting two carpets in it.

    I’m not quite sure how I generate so little rubbish – obviously the fact that an awful lot of my food is not prepackaged; or is prepacked in plastic bags (recycled) or cling-wrap (binned, but very small) helps. And my habit of not always remembering to eat, that probably helps. But I still find it faintly odd that after 4 weeks all I have to dispose of as rubbish is two small carrier bags mostly full of tissues (and they’re *months* worth of rubbish from the lounge and bathroom), and two two-third’s full binbags of kitchen waste. Paper and card are recycled, plastic’s recycled…uh. Yeah. It’s kind of odd.

    But this week, yes, the bin is very full. 2 grotty old carpets filled it to fullness. So I’m kinda glad tomorrow is bin-day.

    On the matter of the car, we appear (touch wood) to have finally reached understanding of why the bloody thing wasn’t starting. It turns out that despite (when I checked) the coil appearing to get a full 12 volts of unballasted little flowing electrons when in the Starter position, it appears that it’s not *actually* working as-such. So current bodge is to slap a jump lead twixt coil+ and the battery, start the car, and then whip it off. This is fine, fine and indeed dandy, except that it’s been raining almost continuously today and I didn’t much enjoy getting wet.

    Still, that moves us onto the topic of the coming two weeks. And these weeks are special excitings week in Kateland. Kate’s hoping to:

    – Have a new floor (or at least a doubly strong floor) in her bathroom
    – Collect a (bathroom) sink, a boiler and the oven (you have *no* idea how much I’ve missed having an oven. Really. No. Idea.)
    – Receive via postymagic a new hob
    – Commence work on the upstairs plumbing
    But the list doesn’t end there. I’m also hoping to:
    – Win a filing cabinet, bath and a period radiator on e-bay
    – Collect said bath and filing cabinet, and then later said radiator.
    – Ideally reach a stage where I can get the gas-engineer in to fit the boiler, although I’m suspecting that’s beyond unlikely.
    And then there’s the ‘doing’ list:
    – Fix and service the Viva
    – Get bike back on road
    – Get welding sorted for Viva
    – Lay path in garden
    – Plant garden
    – Read about emergency nursing
    – Buy and collect mom’s electric car (I hope)
    – Complete my CRB form, the Occy Health form
    – Visit a clinic *and* the GP
    I’d also like to see friends.

    I’m thinking that I’ll both be ‘very busy’, ‘very tired’ and may have planned an excessive number of things into my not-quite-two weeks.

  • Progress of sorts

    So, having lazed on the sofa and eaten (oh goddess was I hungry. I could’ve eaten a horse. Well, maybe not a horse, but an extremely large feta cheese / mixed veg wrap. That sounds less impressive though) I managed to locate the enthusiasm to find my cheque book. I thought it was on my desk, but I couldn’t find it there. Eventually, having searched the lounge and the bedroom I finally went through each piece of paper in the now nearly half metre stack of documents to be filed.

    I reached the bottom and was a little perturbed to discover that I’d not found it. Finally I moved a notebook sat twixt the keyboard and the pile-of-documents-to-file; and y’know what? There it was. So anyway, the newly e-bay’d hob should be on it’s way to me. I need to collect the sink and the oven too (from Manchester area!) I also discovered that the doors I want are much cheaper from B&Q than their online prices suggest. Doh.

    I discovered this because my builder rang and apologised, saying he’d not be here today. This is largely why he’s chosen. Although he’s rarely turned up on time (I can’t say about the days when he’s worked while I’ve not been here, actually); he’s fairly tidy and he also rings when he’s not going to turn up. In building terms that’s almost like being here. So anyhow, he’s coming tomorrow now (“Before 11”) which meant that my aching tired legs and I could go to B&Q.

    The problem with walking to B&Q, as I discovered, while environmentally much better than driving is that when you discover the wheelbarrow you’re considering is a flat-pack, well, it screws with your plan somewhat. So I’ll have to make a separate wheel-barrow obtaining trip. I also need to sort through the left-behind stuff and pull out that which is hardcore and that which is just gunk to be binned. But the best thing about B&Q was buying weedkiller.

    See, my ‘lawn’ (on the left at least) is basically weed. In fact, there’s almost no grass at all. So my mum recommended some evil nasty weedkiller to destroy the weeds before I dig it over, turf it over and call it lawn.

    So, there I was at the till with my Fork, my Spade and my 3 litres of weed killer and the woman looked at me for a few seconds, held the weed killer and then said:

    “Are you over 21?”

    Heh. She looked quite shocked when I declared my 29itude. And then said:

    “Well, you don’t look 29” in a cheery way.

    I just grinned at her. Clearly, I am gorgeous and youthful. I suspect this is due to the careful care I take of my skin; washing every day with, uh, showergel and…bathing it regularly in fresh used engine-oil and grit. Also my routine of nights/lates/earlies which means that my body is constantly deprived of sleep is clearly the way to maintain a healthy young complexion.

    I didn’t show her the grey hairs *grins*