There’s actually a movie about why this is a bad idea
Are you talking about the utterly bizarre ‘The Odd Job’? I didn’t really think anyone else had seen that.
Crossposts from tumblr (for posterity)










Watch: Bill Nye uses science to defend women’s reproductive rights
Follow @the-future-now
One more reason to love the Science Guy.


Taron Egerton & Pedro Pascal on the Kingsman sequel set
Pedro Pascal in a sleeveless turtleneck with skinny jeans and a copstache is the most compelling argument anyone has made for me to see this.
Omg look at this little Welsh twink. Look at this sassy little Welsh twink next to the magnificent Pascal in a glorious pornstache. Look at their skintight turtlenecks with the sleeves ripped off.
Is Kingsman 2 just their cover? Are Taron Egerton and Pedro Pascal really just making a porno? Is Colin Firth going to appear in the middle of this porno with a perfectly cut breakaway suit? It’s going to get so many hits on youporn.com, guys. It’s gonna get a 10000000% rating. There will be chafing throughout the land when this comes out.
I’m not even in this fandom and I only saw the image from the waist up and have no ability to recognize either of these people, so I legit saw this and thought it was a photo from a Pride parade circa 1978.
So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.
Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.
If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.
Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.
Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.
Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.
Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.
MATH NERD VAMPIRES
To state the obvious: The people who killed Alton Sterling and Philando Castile should be tried for murder. The people who killed the police officers in Dallas should be tried for murder. We can simultaneously believe that extra-judical executions of black people by the police AND domestic terrorism BOTH are abhorrent and must be met with strong, reasoned, and effective responses.




Trans people aren’t. the. ones. being. creepy. in bathrooms. h/t Carlos Maza
Why are cis men so obsessed with women’s bathrooms?
Conservatives are almost always the problem they claim to be trying to solve.
You forgot this one.
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Hopefully Sulu being gay will mean that Lucasfilms will feel like they have to one up Star Trek and add more gay characters. A chain reaction of making every character LGBT+ just because of rivalry.
This is the space race we want.
From September onwards, we’ll definitely have a lesbian-hating woman prime minister.
Apparently this is “progress.”
Yay Britain Engales. *sigh*



BRIGHT BREXITY FUTURE: “Now that we’ve voted to leave the EU, we can get on with the important work of stripping these uppity plebs of any rights or protections they have at work. Business can decide. There’s no way that can ever go wrong.”
*cough* WANKER *cough*