So, today’s a tough one for more personal reasons than yesterday’s post; Kathryn’s off to Romania for seven weeks. I keep thinking seven weeks, because that’s less than two months. And less than two months is good, because I’ll be in a new job in 4 weeks, and then I’ll only have been there three weeks when Kathryn comes back. Which is nice.
Yes.
See, it doesn’t feel so bad that way.
Split it up into manageable chunks.
So, having got to work – I was instructed by my matron that I had to attend, and the delightful £35 taxi I took got me there only and hour and a bit late – I met a very nice Physiotherapist who offered to give me a lift home; I thought she was only offering a lift to a_nearby_town, but she actually brought me home; wouldn’t stay for tea, wouldn’t take money for petrol. *so nice*.
And in most regards, actually my day wasn’t too bad. I didn’t work quite so hard as I might, mostly because I was thinking about the job offer – which turned into a full time 9 month contract in the ED. So I’m off there – I did have some nerves about breaking it to my Matron that I was leaving, she looked a bit stressed but also said ‘well, you did say you wanted to go there’ and then said ‘wouldn’t you like to work in A&E here’ but it transpired there are no jobs there. She was pleased that I want to stay on the staff bank there though.
Anyhow. The day was hard because we have this particular patient; he’s been with us a while and if you describe him to anyone you’d be imagining the worst patient you could. Deaf, blind (both happening late in life so he’s not really got coping skills for either issue), demenia, aggressive, incontinent, swears at you… But y’know what, he’s everyone’s favourite. He is just such a character, and for all his “It’s bloody cold in here! Why don’t you close the fucking window…”‘s and strings of loud burps, he’s actually kinda sweet.
And we do our best to look after him.
Yesterday I took him down for an ultrasound scan; he’d previously swung for the assistant down there – but with someone he knows there to reassure him and *shout* what’s going on very loudly (normally it’s fairly patronising to shout at someone who’s deaf, but for him it actually works pretty well) – anyhow, we got through it with him mostly complaining about the gel being cold and nothing much else to upset the staff there… But what the scan revealed wasn’t good; and you could see it in the ward when I came back and told some of the other nurses looking after him. The doctors, the nurses, everyone’s reaction was one of real sadness. The nature of looking after older people is, I suppose, that a lot of them will die; and a lot of them are at that stage where lots of things start to go wrong in their bodies.
But somehow, it often seems to be the ones we’ve had for a long time (which is, to be fair, probably because they’ve got something wrong with them, but it takes a while to find out what, and that’s why they never quite make it home) and are thus quite attached to, that seem to have the really nasty illnesses…
So that, that sucked.
So I have to take a taxi the 20 miles to work. Oh boy am I looking forward to my credit card bill this month. I don’t know why my car won’t start. I’m terrified that I won’t be able to work it out today. I don’t quite follow why gapped and so on right the damn thing wouldn’t start today. But.
The points – I swapped ’em – I know I couldn’t make it start before on these points, but I really needed to change ’em, the old ones looked like shite.
I’m just waiting for the taxi.
I’m meant to be picking up Kathryn from the Station this afternoon; I’m not quite sure whether that’s going to work in-so-far-as I have to get a taxi home and then coax the bloody thing into starting.
I’m really quite upset and I’ll have to make up the hours somewhere. Dunno how or where though.
*sighs*
Oh, and I tried for getting my bike MOT’d today – not gonna happen. So we definately have to have a working car Sunday for work. Of course, at this point I can see that the correct decision would have been to put a new engine in the minor – just to have said ‘stuff it’ and paid for it. But, I’m a dumbass. What can I say? Or to have spent 1k on a cheap shed which I could run into the ground; instead I’ve got the Viva which in theory should be reliable – it’s simple and basic – all the things which generally give me a nice simple reliable run around; but of course it’s just gone from no-miles-a-year to 3000 in a month. Of course it’ll have problems. Why didn’t I remember that?
Still, at least with the new job (if it happens) there’s a train ‘twixt here and there, with regular services, so I can get *that* in the face of disaster.
I could cry with frustration. Brick won’t start. The bloke I bought the ignition parts from went on holiday; and came back a few days ago – but the parts aren’t here yet; so I’m still running on a very dodgy points ignition. Yesterday the car started first time every time (there were several places I went). Today, won’t start.
So I had charged the mog’s battery yesterday, I slung that in the minor and prayed, but old petrol and 4 months of standing have done nothing for starting performance. After about 5 minutes my neighbour came and had a go at me about my cars not starting – we managed to reach a concensus when I explained that I had ordered the bits for the viva – but that they’d not come yet – and that I really did understand it was annoying for them, and that I wasn’t even meant to be using the minor but I needed to get to work and had reached desperation.
But the minor would not start.
So I have an MZ – which will start, but is devoid of MOT and Tax. I’ve a minor that won’t start, but has MOT and Tax and a Viva that has MOT and Tax and also won’t start. I’ve two flat batteries and I’m going to be very late for work.
I’m going to charge the battery until about 10 to 8. With my ‘fast’ charger. I’m hoping that’ll give it enough to get the car going; but I’ve no idea why it wouldn’t start. The gap wasn’t too bad not perfect, but not too bad. The threadlock clearly’s done nothing for holding the points in place, as a side point. But if it won’t start I’m fucked. I can’t ride the ‘zed there; not unless I get an MOT, which at 8am? Going to be challenging.
Traffic’s going to be a bitch anyhow.
*sighs*
Um, well. Not to jinx it, it’s only a possibility; but I’ve been pre-offered a 4-day a week temporary contract in the ED at St Fred’s Hospital for the Clinically Unwell. The job’s very existence needs confirming, so it’s all floaty in the air. But hell, I made it through the interview and I got selected, it may be 4 days a week, but people leave, so maybe it’ll up to 5 eventually. On the biting hand, it’s going to be hard to afford the mortgage – I’ll have to ensure that I average 1 shift of bank work a week, which is uh, going to be interesting.
But. I am happy, if scared. Yes.
:-)
So, I’m all interviewed. I think it went okay, hopefully I should hear today whether I’ve got the job(s) – there are apparently some temporary contracts going – which leads me to an interesting question – do I go for a temporary job in the ED? I suspect I do – depending on how long ‘temporary’ is.
I read my comments from my mentors, and tried to remember that I’m a damn good nurse, at least some of the time. And I stumbled my way through the interview and at least looked conceivably like I knew about policy.
I hope it was enough. I guess I find out soon. I should (and will be) tidying shortly. But at the moment I’m sitting mulling and trying to distract myself from the thought processes about the interview. I hope I came across well.
So, in the name of distracting myself – this movie (in seven parts) looks really interesting. It’s the kind of thing I’d’ve loved to be involved in, but I doubt I have the skill yet. I need more practice. Hey! Nikki! How’s my song coming along?! James! Any luck with the models? :-)
Heh.
And it’s raining; not consistently hard rain, but irritating rain – enough that I’ve not yet headed out to remove the wheel from my motorbike, which I really should get on with. Yeah.
I forgot to post on Snapshot hunter this week; it was meant to be this image – but I often forget which day I need to post things by. The most annoying thing is the two times I’ve forgotten I’ve had really good shots. Although I wasn’t 100% decided I’d only uploaded this one for ‘wet’. Anyhow.
In other news, here’s some more new music. Indie pop, for those who’re not wanting to use up clicks.
Tomorrow is my interview, and thus I should go to bed soon. I’m feeling a little teensy bit tense. Really quite tense. Incredibly tense. No, that’s excessive. I’m quite tense though. I think I’ve got my four H’s and four T’s. I’ve thought of answers to the questions like ‘why do you want to work in A&E’ and ‘what would make you a good A&E nurse’; I’ve got a couple of questions to ask, I know what I’m going to wear. I found my brief/attaché/whatever case and prep’d the folder with a few ‘samples’ of my portfolio. I think that’s it.
It’s still scary though. Wish me luck; I *want* this job.
What makes you feel…
Happy?
Spending time with someone I care about. Good music. Both of these have the ability to raise my spirits.
Sad?
Thinking about my dad, and his illness.
Excited?
New creative input. A new song, film, book, comic, picture – anything can get me terribly excited. I’m also a car/bike geek enough that, given the right stimulous I can get excited about bits arriving (Oooh! A new distributor…). And with the current situation, progress on my house makes me excited.
Furious?
Pretty much nothing makes me furious. I can be quite annoyed by things, but very little actually makes me shouting and kicking things angry. Usually, if anything does it’s myself – usually when I’m trying to do something practical, make a bit of a mess of it, get annoyed at myself, make things worse and then end up shouting/swearing at [the object] when really I’m shouting/swearing at myself. I am best avoided during these moments. As I get older they get less common, although I can still reach the stage of hopping around and kicking mechanical objects.
I very rarely get upset at people. And when I do, I tend to go quiet.
Giddy?
Love.
Annoyed?
The destruction of civil liberties, and our willing loss of them. The destruction and privatisation of the NHS by various governments. The inequalities that exist in this world because of sex/gender/race/colour/sexuality.
Loved?
Spending time with Kathryn; my family; my friends. All of them make me feel loved :-)
Terrified?
Interviews. Interviews terrify me. Sometimes the news is terrifying. I look at the world and I think what the *hell* are we doing?!
Passionate?
I don’t really know. Sometimes something just sparks inside me and I know I care – and have to do something. And I can be passionate about politics, people, or the sudden need to cook something insanely complex.
Nervous?
Ah, no. Interviews make me nervous. Nervous *and* terrified.
Thoughtful?
Reading and films – they’re the two most common ways to make me thoughtful; and obviously discussions with friends; most of my friends have political and religious viewpoints, and we don’t adhere to avoiding discussing religion and politics.
Hurt?
When someone says something thoughtless.
Blissful?
Curling up with someone I love and relaxing.
Lucky?
Looking at my life. For all the bad and hard, I’m lucky. I’ve got a job, a roof over my head, a partner, and friends. What more do I need? (Oh, uh, let’s skip over the 2 cars / 2 motorcycles, then we get into ‘insanely lucky).
Guilty?
Buying non-fair trade, non-organic foods. From lidl. Damnit.
Calm?
I’m always calm, like an ocean of calmness in the middle of the sea of relaxed. Heh. A space on top of a mountain, looking out at the view. A swim in an Edwardian pool. Eating dinner with my friends and relaxing.
Lookie at Core Memory. Prettyness and geekyness.
So, building work progresses apace; well, a-limp is probably more accurate; however there are distinct progress signs, and a feeling of positivity descended (until today when I realised I’d have to pay to get someone to wire the kitchen, which is going to be ‘spensive, ‘cos I suspect I need an RCD unit instead of my current ‘fuse box’). At any rate there is progress, at one point the kitchen was a place of great danger... but now there’s a wall and in fact, plaster. I’m waiting on a ceiling though.
So anyway, that’s the building work news. I do like to keep you all updated.
In other news, I spent a fantastic 2 days up in the land of Norwich – relaxing and generally having an awfully good time with Kathryn. I headed up on Friday, and… well, actually Kathryn posted about it here – it seems silly for me to post the same stuff again. But what I will do is share a few pictures with you…
While we were walking back from Norwich, me with my newly shorn hair, I saw this window. I’m sure I’ve seen it, and possibly even thought it was pretty before, but I actually (in a real change from the norm) took my camera with me…
It’s such a beautiful window despite the decay…
And then I’ve finally got some nice shots of Kathryn who amazingly didn’t notice the camera in time to stop smiling…twice.
That second one, that’s a shot of her taking pictures of an abandoned shopping trolley….through an abandoned shopping trolley.
And finally, I thought it was about time I had a new picture of myself, it’s not like I’m that narcissistic, so you don’t often get to see me…so, um, yeah, anyhow – it’s my Journal, why’m I justifying it?! Anyhow, this is me in the Sainsbury Centre for the Arts (or some approximation of that name).
Of course, the interesting thing about that picture, apart from looking like some gloriously 1970’s white shiny plastic future is that it’s actually shot in the toilet. Yes. But I was so enamoured with the sparse, utilitarian whiteness of it, but at the same time it’s faint feelings of futuristic luxury that I had to get a shot.
We were there to look at the photography exhibition (from the V&A) and also to nose at the art nouveau display. Both were interesting, whilst the photography exhibit – a lot of the images were excellent – as you’d expect, but failed to speak to me in any meaningful way. At the same time, there were some really fantastic images which were just incredible. Inspiring…
The art nouveau display was also interesting, I’ve always struggled with art nouveau, because I adore some components, and other bits really just do nothing for me. Again, like the photography exhibit there was some stuff which was incredible, and again some stuff which failed to reach me at all. What did reach me though, was watching one of the staff discussing a tattoo – it’s interesting to hear people who really know about art discussing tattoos, reminds you that they are an art form in and of themselves.
Anyhow, after a cream tea (yum, and surprisingly reasonably priced, although why I say it’s a surprise when I’m in a place that’s let me view lots of art for free….not sure) we headed back through the rain, and Brick declared he wasn’t going anywhere. Now I know I wanted to stay there with Kathryn, but this did lead me to have a stressed few minutes. See, the screw that holds the points in place, it’s stripped of thread so only kinda loosely holds them. So the timing wanders slightly – which hasn’t really been an issue once the car was running, but has been a little bit of an issue when starting. Thankfully I’d got a receipt in the car to use as a feeler for the gap, and having adjusted it he started quickly enough. I’ve just disassembled the points, slapped some threadlock on the base and put them back together – hopefully that’ll hold it okay until I get the electronic ignition from the Viva club bloke.
On the way to the photo exhibit we ran into a little abandonment, shots of which are here.
In other positive but unrelated news, my tyre arrived today for the ‘zedly Cherry, so I shall (on Thursday, I hope) disassemble the wheel and run it down to my local tyre place. All being well, we could be MOT’d and back on the road by the end of the week.