So, when I’m stressed, traditionally I get something akin to IBS. I get abdominal pain, and I get to spend more time in the bathroom than I’d like, and indeed food tends to skip the ‘being digested’ step of the whole process. Doing my Biochemistry degree and towards the end of my Nursing degree, I lost weight. Indeed, when I went to see my friend Caroline’s mum near the end of my Biochem degree (granted, I was dealing with some other stuff at the time) she (being Irish) attempted to feed me everything in the house. I won’t say I looked pale and thin, but I probably did.
I know that I could get into size 10 jeans at the time, and could comfortably wear some obscure size 11 jeans that I’d picked up (still my favouritest pair of jeans, ever. I miss them) I am not, normally, a size 10. I wish I were (I wish I was)… :)
So, when I discovered my blood pressure was high because I was (and am) stressed about work I grumped. This whole crappy deal with me having IBSy symptoms when I get stressed at least seemed to be the only impact of stress on my body. It’s unpleasant, and tedious, but at least it probably has little impact on my physically beyond that. Of course, my body took this grumping as an affront to it, and now I think I’ve probably got high blood pressure and I’ve had a few trips to the toilet today :(
Fuckit.
Ironically, the feedback I got wasn’t hideously negative, and I’m all prepared to start work fixing it. I’ve got a couple of weeks off coming up and I’ve got my list of potential audit candidates at work to work through. So, if I get a ‘quiet’ day, or alternatively go in on a day off then I can set to finding patients who actually meet the audit criteria. This is all FTW.
Anyhow, enough about that stuff.
Yesterday was an interesting day. Lovely, interesting, scary. See, like everyone I have a past. But most people’s past doesn’t leave them wanting to hide under a rock when it comes up in polite conversation. Possibly because most people weren’t hideously bullied at school, most people didn’t go from being terribly extroverted to being unable to speak to anyone without getting completely drunk*, and most people aren’t quite freaked out by meeting people they knew as kids.
See, I have a friend from my youth. By which I mean I’ve got an *awesome* friend who I’ve known since I was 2 years old. He got married to his really wonderful (now) wife yesterday. I’ve met them a few times over the past…10 years. He still rocks, and still is the incredible person anyone who met him as a kid would assume he’d grow into. His friends were (and are) good people. I didn’t ever go to the same school as him, but despite that we’ve remained friends and kept in touch, and I did occasionally hang out with his friends, and went to his birthday parties.
So they knew me then.
And although I’ve seen them once or twice since I dealt with the crap that surrounded my childhood**, meeting them I always feel like… well… I know they’re not, or I intellectually assume they’re not, but I feel like I’m being judged on where I’ve landed up. Which is bollocks, I know that. But let’s just say that the animal bit of my brain hasn’t entirely caught up with the rest of me.
It actually was a really nice night, and they played Laid which is one of the songs I played as a help-me-cope-play-this-fucking-loud-scream-out-the-lyrics-like-you’re-taking-my-soul when I was at my lowest. It’s a song I *love*. It’s still a song that when it’s all going to crap I’ll make the house shake with. And that dragged me onto the dance floor. I love dancing, and despite not being drunk I made it onto the dance floor and reminded myself that I love dancing***.
It was also wonderful to see Brian and Sarah married. They are a lovely couple, and it was an honour to be invited to such an important day****. Weddings make me want to cry (or actually cry), because I’m a terrible old romantica at heart. And, well, while it’s weird watching people I know getting wed, it’s also incredibly cool. And watching my oldest friend and his partner enjoying their day together? Very cool indeed.
* As in bottle-of-vodka drunk for any given party.
** Let me just add in, I had/have the most awesome parents anyone could have. The crap is not their fault.
*** Especially with my best beloved, who is fabulous.
**** I also saw Brian in a kilt for the first time in my life, which is very cool :)
