[Previous entry: “Tea…”] [Main Index] [Next entry: “Argh.”]
05/25/2002 Archived Entry: “I’m not very good at these subject thingies am I?”
So,
Bike test on monday.
Yes. So. Trying to divert myself from that and sadly noting the semi-demise of TOTL.net. But I still had time to take their vitally important Human Virus Scanner. The results of which are below…
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
TotL: Go read Brunching
Linux: Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Junkfood: Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
BBCB: CTRL-Break, and get a real computer.
Repeat: “Mode 7 was not a good thing.”
8-Bit: Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
British: No need for cure. Benign virus.
Discordia: Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
Windows: Try MacOS X. It’s based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn’t suck. As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
vi: Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Free BSD: The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Politics: Stop caring!
Computer Games: Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Conspiracy Theory: Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary.
Environmentalism: Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh: Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
USA (70%): Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Amiga (80%): Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn’t have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
Religion (60%): Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
UNIX (80%): Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Sci-fi (60%): Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Brand Names (90%): Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good.
X11 (60%): I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Hippyism (93%): Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
So there you go. I feel much better for that. Anyway, I’m off out to the garden centre :-)
