19th April 2002, 18:11.
[Re-edited at 1853 to try and make it readable]
So. Hrm. Feeling a bit down. A couple of things set me off – being broke and
having to go shopping and birthday related stuff, oh and some “discomfort”. What
shall I start with?
So, I had to go shopping today to get Johns birthday present –
he’s 1 soon… So, off I trundled up to ‘The Mall’ (bleuch) to find an Early
Learning Centre (free ad for them then) – who I knew had the kind of thing I was
after.
Of course, knowing that I had sod-all to do today I thought I’d have a wander
round before I went to get John’s present. And of course HMV had a huge sale on.
Okay I thought, they almost never have anything I actually want in their sale so
I’m probably fairly safe having a look. But no – because I’m broke and can’t
afford anything there was *loads* of stuff
I wanted. All of it substantially reduced.
Which of course pissed me off no end. In the end having wandered in and out
of the shop 4 times I decided to get one – and only because the present I got
for John cost much less than I thought it would. Mind you, buying a card/paper
for the present cost almost as much as the sodding present. 2 quid for a
birthday card?!
Gah.
I try and look at it a bit like I did when I was a student, and make finding
the cheapest/minimum of what I want a kind of game, but it doesn’t really work.
I hated being broke then and I hate it now. At least back then it was my own
fault to a large degree – always buying upgrades/software for my RiscPC I was,
but now – now I’m just buying the bare essentials (basically, petrol for my bike
and the car, as needed) and treating
myself is something that I now do *very* rarely.
Anyway, so I got The Dish –
the only copy they had in the sale, for 9 quid. Which is my treat for, err, the
next few months.
I really wanted to buy this
but – I can’t afford it or justify it. Still, I want it.
*sigh*
Anyway, that wasn’t the only thing getting at me – the other thing is the
fact that I didn’t in the end actually do anything to celebrate my
birthday. Being broke (oh look, money again) doesn’t help – I’d like to take my
friends out for dinner (and invite a few people down)…. But no, that’s not going
to happen. Actually it’ll probably not happen not only because I don’t have
money but also because it’ll just be forgotten about….*sigh*
Lack of money is also stopping me from taking my bike test. *sigh*. 100 quid,
that’s what I need to do that (then I could do motorcycle dispatch – which I’d
far prefer over office jobs) but I can’t afford it. The Mog’s going to need a
pair of tyres soon (one to replace the damaged one, one because it’s on it’s
1.6mm wear limit marker) and I can see all the money I earn next week vaporising
even before it hits my bank account. And I’ve not managed to pay any rent, which
is badness. Obviously there’s the credit card bill, but I don’t even want to
think about that right now.
Of course, in the excuses for feeling bad about myself I’ve got a great reason. Ryoko
came up to Bristol this week, unfortunately on the same day that I was
disappearing down to London (and my birthday). We’d promised that we’d meet up
for a drink – but by the time I got back I was just too knackered to go out –
and unfortunately – what with discovering that my “skin” is completely hopeless
and has failed to heal properly (this might be related to the amount of
standing and the discomfort I felt in the Cav – I hate the middle seat…)(maybe it’s worked this time – who can say?) –
made me fairly depressive and not-wanting-to-go-anywhere on Wednesday (which was
the second day that Ryoko was here – and she rang – and I just put her off so I
could lie down and be miserable. The headache didn’t help) – but I’m still
feeling crap about that. I should have gone.
She’s a nice lass and I didn’t make time to see her. *sigh*.
Oooh, just got an e-mail back from RISC OS limited….[pause to read it].
Well, that’s not the most polite e-mail response to a question I’ve ever had.
I mean, it’s not downright rude, but did he have to capitalise the word “no” in
the middle of a sentance? Hrm. No explanation of why “no”, just basically no,
and we can’t be bothered to give you even the briefest of reasons why not.
Well, RISC OS ltd just lost a big chunk of my sympathy. Given the tiny
number of sales they get then a brief explanation of why they don’t do what I was
querying which might have
persuaded me that it was worth the extra money would possibly have been worth
while[see note] – and frankly, if their attitude is like that then fuck ’em. They want 100
quid off me for a product that at best is worth 50.
For some reason I ended up in a moderate amount of discomfort while I was
wandering around the mall, I’ve had a bit of a prod and I don’t think anything
is wrong, but I’m getting more and more worried. Should I really be having
strange problems like this now? I mean, I know my body’s crap at healing
and slow at the best of times, but this is silly.
Mind you, the way that my body’s been going ‘crack’ recently has been scaring
me – every time I get up most of my limbs do it.
Interestingly – small world syndrome – I’ve found one of the people I used to
link to has a LiveJournal – since she’s trying to leave her past behind I won’t
say who it is – but anyway, was interesting to see how she’s presenting herself
now.
Anyway, I’ve adopted a blob,
It’s not as good as Fred the Stone – on my RiscPC, but there y’go.
Anyway, so, I updated my Links page today – to reflect the fact that I’ve
gone off loads of cartoons – actually I read about 3 of them in total. I’ve also
chopped out the many, many broken links (still I wasn’t doing too badly – there
were still more working links than broken ones by a good margin) – anyone want
me to link to their site? Now’s a good time to mention it…
Damnit. Why am I not feeling so good? Grr…I’ve got to cheer up….
Ahh, this made me smile…
—
Kate E
Note: The question was – are they likely to produce a
softloadable version of RISC OS 4 (since the new RISC OS Select stuff is
soft-loadable why not make the whole OS softloadable, and thus drop the price
because they wouldn’t have to supply ROMs, just ROM images).
Comments:
Ryoko at Sun Apr 21 03:30:45 2002 said:
I don’t much mind not going out.. but.. I was all alone in the big city.. I wish you’d at least let me come say get well soon in person
An dheck, this way now I know you were really to ill
happens to the best of us.. just get well soon…
wanna try again for uh…july?
I thought you didn’t want to see me
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