15/11/01, 10:31
Well, the catheter has come out again – I was actually “bypassing” yesterday (urine was coming out around the catheter when I went to the loo) which bodes well.
At the moment I’m still smarting rather from the removal of the catheter….but I hope that I’ll be able to go in a bit…..
15/11/01, 11:16
I suddenly have the fear…..I feel like I’ve been overwhelmed by things which – until now I’ve been holding back.
11:50
Well, there was a break for doing a visualisation during which I struggled to control my brain, which seemed to be running out of control – topic hopping so quickly that I had no chance to get to grips with anything before I found I was leaping from one topic to another.
It was terrifying to feel so utterly out of control of my own mind. I just couldn’t stop it. It wasn’t even like it was all bad things – but I just felt confused – almost dazed with the millions of thoughts running through my head.
It has stopped now, as quickly as it started……
On the rather less stressful side – I managed to urinate – which was somewhat of a load off my mind…..or perhaps off my bladder…..
I also restarted hormones today – which I’m hoping, like last time, will reduce the unpleasant clicks that have been eminating from my joints. It might also help with my mental state!
Oh, yes, and I just realised that there’s more than 50 of these sodding diary entries to put up…..I’m beginning to feel that maybe Rachel was right – and that I do need to do something about making it easier to put up entries….
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Kate E