Mostly lemon based

Day: March 18, 2024

  • Pregaming FFS Day 6.

    So today I should get the sutures out – which is great. And the staples. But after 6 and a half hours of staring at the inside of my eyelids I got sick of it and got up. I don’t really know what to do with myself – I think I’m going to have to ask for some kind of sleeping pill because I now feel well enough that sleeping sat up is just impossible for me a lot of the time. Last night I took oxy in the hopes it would make me drowsy as well as deal with the pain, and it totally failed on the drowsy front. Did help with the pain though. Now the pain’s wandering back (mainly I think the pain from the staples being squashed by the jaw wrap right now, everything else seems to have settled down fairly much), but I’m completely fucking exhausted.

    I’ve sat up for an hour dinking, poking at the new story I’m writing, but not very successfully. I did, however, at 1:30 am submit my story to my beta reader who had e-mailed me back. Hopefully my comments in the submission box made sense.

    Right.

    Let’s try sleeping again, shall we?

  • Non FFS Stuff

    Just before I disappear to bed I want to make a little note. Today I put in a request to a beta reader – because I’ve done the first pass edit on my book. I’ve had a huge row with imposter syndrome all day, but at the end of the day I’ve written a roughly 115k word novel. That’s what it is. I wrote a novel.

    It’s uneven, for sure. It’s a first draft and it needs work. I think it starts pretty well, gets a little *meh* in the middle, then has a stronger final third. I’m a bit thinking the ending is a bit abrupt, maybe it needs more fleshing out? But also…the ending is what it is because of the nature of events. But maybe the epilogue needs a little more. So.

    Yeah, so I’m at the “I need feedback from someone who’s not me” stage.

    And also, I need a break from it because I’ve been staring at it for more than a decade.

    And maybe it’s shit.

    And maybe it’s not.

    But at the end of the day I’d like to make it into something not shit, and something worth reading, and I think it’s not irredeemably terrible so I’m gonna try and do that.

  • FFS Days 4 and 5

    Days 4 and 5 have pretty much followed the same pattern except with the delight that Kathryn’s been home much of the time because it’s the weekend. She was, as she is, very sweet and went shopping getting me some less brown goop food options (Bananas! Avocado! Soup! Mousse (which, yes, is brown and goop, but it’s texture-ly different goop)). She also very sweetly made me food which was not just drunk from a shaken bottle of meal replacement protein drink.

    In addition to that I’ve gradually felt better enough to become more whiny. I’m [hoping/assuming/under the impression] that the staples and sutures come out tomorrow. Which will be nice because the staples on the left side of my head are really annoying and are pressed on by the jaw wrap that I have to wear most of the time. Also I’m increasingly irritable about not being able to wear my glasses properly because the jaw wrap gets in the way. Otherwise pain is very much in the dealable section, but still reasonably unpleasant if I fuck up the timing on the basic meds – if I don’t hit all the regular doses of ibuprofen and paracetamol then the centre of my head gets quite achy. And yeah, the staples on the left today have been giving me grief. It’s possible that during the night I slept on them some, but I’m not sure.

    Numbness wise there’s not really been a lot of change, unsurprisingly. My forehead is kinda patchy. The top of my head feels like a block of wood, which is weird, and probably won’t change for a long time.

    Swelling’s definitely dropping though, although in its place bruising is starting to come out, so that’s fun. It does increasingly look like I got in a vicious fight, to which the only answer to any concerns will have to be “Oh, you should see the other girl.”

    Day 4:

     

    Day 5: